Wow. Just wow. Reading this, I am lulled into the most welcomed escape, drawn into the “life force beneath the streets,” lingering in its abandonment of time, tangling with the symbiotic bouquets, tumbling into the botanist’s eminence. Your superb, delicious, yawning sentences that mirror the narrator’s inner experience.
“she was spiritual, emitting something that invited you, stilled you, made you want to sit and find acceptance in the mere act of sitting alone, and more often than not I would be content to do just that.”
Yawning sentences. I love that. I recently read a description of Bolaño's sentences and it was "a sort of drifting, accumulating quality." and I'm just in love with that description because it's so much how I feel reading Bolaño, as well as my favourite Mircea. I feel that yawning sentences edges towards that ideal for me, too. :)
Nathan, your writing has a lushness that’s creating a place that’s both precise and dreamlike, in just a few sentences. Delightful and immersive! Maybe this is what happens when a scientist picks up a pen and explores magical realism?
My favorite bits:
. . .a subconscious sensation of being drawn or pulled, like an ocean tugged at by a distant moon.
. . .flowers I had simply never seen before, having shapes and hues that spoke of connections natural and symbiotic and not the pretentious pairings of a florist.
. . . in my head, her voice there and present and as if she was whispering straight into my ears.
All I can say, is keep this one going. You've kindled a brilliant spark here that wants to grow into an all-consuming bonfire. The language, the pacing, the imagery and the trademark Nathan Slake allure and mystery are all here in full force.
Thanks so much, Ben. I'm going to try. I'm not sure how much fuel there is, but I will try. It's been a damn hard week fitting time in for anything aside from work, and I fear the same for this week too, but I'm going to try!
You know, I always think of you when there's a kind of personification, ever since conversations about eyes way, way back in the early days of our Substacks. And now I've forgotten the technical term you had for something like that... and now I'm going to go crazy trying to remember what it is, haha.
You know what, I don't know, haha. That's my answer! I know what I want it to mean, but now that you say it it's possibly not correct. What I want it to mean is "her beauty was surpassed by something else, and that something was her spirituality."
I really like the authentic imagery with the “the ochre sun….[sinking] beneath the glistening skin of the river,” it has a beautiful rhythm and reminds me of the creative need to see with fresh eyes, like envisioning “a sweaty toothed madman” as a way of avoiding the classic tropes (Dead Poets Society). Lots of rich imagery and starting to generate some tension leaving me wanting more. Thanks as always for your writing!
What an intriguing ending , Nathan.Your hints throughout the story, or are they just descriptions, have me conjuring images of possibilities.
“…her hands touching the flowers where she would pause a moment as though in conversation, as though speaking with each coloured petal…”
Where will she take you, will you physically travel to get there, or close your eyes and be taken . Looking forward to see if the ‘visions that are dancing in my head’ are the same as yours. Love it!
Oh come now, I just wrote that comment a couple of days ago. Some writers take a week or two to reply. You know when you’re reading a comic strip, text bubbles are used over a character’s head to indicate a thought monologue💬, well, I just pictured you at work with a ‘text bubble’ over your head, written inside; “someday (with a little picture of yourself sitting in your writing space at home, deep in thought), I will be a writer, full time. And you will 📚😊.
Superb, Nathan. This is a piece that I would easily quote in its entirety. A botanist, but not the usual type. This phrase incorporates all the magic of this story. Your descriptions are, as always, a masterclass in detail oriented prose. Can't wait to read the continuation of this.
Thanks so much, Silvio. That single line is the only line that started in my head at the very beginning. I knew there was something there in that, something mysterious that needed to be uncovered, and, in some ways, still needs to be uncovered.
It's been a tough few weeks of severe lack of inspiration, creativity, and drive (I very much blame work), but I feel it coming back slowly now and hope to finish this off this week.
I already don't want this story to end Nathan, you've woven such a glorious and sumptuous scent of botanical lushness into so many sentences, I feel adrift in the dreamlike haze of the heat unable to resist the mystery, "like an ocean tugged at by a distant moon."
Gorgeous writing, as irresistible as the botanists "words that were coy and hinting at something else".
Nathan I know my friend, I know... I have been trying to finish a short fiction for weeks,- maybe I mentioned it - its so long since I picked it up I have lost all flow of the story completely and am beginning to lose hope of every finishing it at all... 😔
Wonderful, just wonderful. I'm not one for reading things in installments generally (too frustrating!) but this is lovely. So many excellent, beautiful sentences so satiates in and of itself, whilst also leaving you wanting more. It feels familiar, somehow. Not the writing, I don't mean that - but the scene, the atmosphere, the feelings the place and she herself, the botanist, evokes in him.. and it's a testament to your powers that it's so.
Wow. Just wow. Reading this, I am lulled into the most welcomed escape, drawn into the “life force beneath the streets,” lingering in its abandonment of time, tangling with the symbiotic bouquets, tumbling into the botanist’s eminence. Your superb, delicious, yawning sentences that mirror the narrator’s inner experience.
“she was spiritual, emitting something that invited you, stilled you, made you want to sit and find acceptance in the mere act of sitting alone, and more often than not I would be content to do just that.”
Thank you thank you, Kimberly!
Yawning sentences. I love that. I recently read a description of Bolaño's sentences and it was "a sort of drifting, accumulating quality." and I'm just in love with that description because it's so much how I feel reading Bolaño, as well as my favourite Mircea. I feel that yawning sentences edges towards that ideal for me, too. :)
“Drifting, accumulating quality…” Oh I’m saving that!
yawning sentences, I love that. 'life force beneath the streets' particularly spoke to me also.
Nathan, your writing has a lushness that’s creating a place that’s both precise and dreamlike, in just a few sentences. Delightful and immersive! Maybe this is what happens when a scientist picks up a pen and explores magical realism?
My favorite bits:
. . .a subconscious sensation of being drawn or pulled, like an ocean tugged at by a distant moon.
. . .flowers I had simply never seen before, having shapes and hues that spoke of connections natural and symbiotic and not the pretentious pairings of a florist.
. . . in my head, her voice there and present and as if she was whispering straight into my ears.
Thank you, Ann, that's so lovely of you to say.
You picked some of my favourite lines, too (if I'm allowed to have favourite lines in my own work, hehe).
You must have favorites. A requirement 😉
All I can say, is keep this one going. You've kindled a brilliant spark here that wants to grow into an all-consuming bonfire. The language, the pacing, the imagery and the trademark Nathan Slake allure and mystery are all here in full force.
Thanks so much, Ben. I'm going to try. I'm not sure how much fuel there is, but I will try. It's been a damn hard week fitting time in for anything aside from work, and I fear the same for this week too, but I'm going to try!
Nathan, loving the weave of this story! Some stuff/language I enjoyed especially:
-personification of the events at the start
-subconscious = tidal waves
-the way you move between the metaphysical and visceral imagery so freely
You know, I always think of you when there's a kind of personification, ever since conversations about eyes way, way back in the early days of our Substacks. And now I've forgotten the technical term you had for something like that... and now I'm going to go crazy trying to remember what it is, haha.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading, Kate! :D
Oh for eyes? Yes we talked about also the gaze and all that fun stuff but I can’t remember a technical term related…I need more of a hint ha 🕵️
Ah yeah, something gaze! The something gaze… 😄 It’s along those lines. I’ll have to go dig, hehe.
deeply intriguing and mysterious... love it!
did you mean to say transcendant or transcended. i keep reading that sentence and being unsure. im sure you know what youre doing though!
Thanks Nick!
You know what, I don't know, haha. That's my answer! I know what I want it to mean, but now that you say it it's possibly not correct. What I want it to mean is "her beauty was surpassed by something else, and that something was her spirituality."
i always love whatever you write Nathan. this was no exception.
🤗
I really like the authentic imagery with the “the ochre sun….[sinking] beneath the glistening skin of the river,” it has a beautiful rhythm and reminds me of the creative need to see with fresh eyes, like envisioning “a sweaty toothed madman” as a way of avoiding the classic tropes (Dead Poets Society). Lots of rich imagery and starting to generate some tension leaving me wanting more. Thanks as always for your writing!
Thanks, Brian! I really like that: creative need to see with fresh eyes. That's great.
What an intriguing ending , Nathan.Your hints throughout the story, or are they just descriptions, have me conjuring images of possibilities.
“…her hands touching the flowers where she would pause a moment as though in conversation, as though speaking with each coloured petal…”
Where will she take you, will you physically travel to get there, or close your eyes and be taken . Looking forward to see if the ‘visions that are dancing in my head’ are the same as yours. Love it!
I hope I can take you on the journey that fulfils these possibilities.
(Sorry for the terribly slow reply. Work has been manic and draining all creative life out of me.)
Oh come now, I just wrote that comment a couple of days ago. Some writers take a week or two to reply. You know when you’re reading a comic strip, text bubbles are used over a character’s head to indicate a thought monologue💬, well, I just pictured you at work with a ‘text bubble’ over your head, written inside; “someday (with a little picture of yourself sitting in your writing space at home, deep in thought), I will be a writer, full time. And you will 📚😊.
😆🤗
I like to keep a sub-24hr turnaround on comment replies if I can. ;)
I like that comic strip. I very much like it.
Someday…
Ooh, that last paragraph!! Hooked.
Thanks Stephanie!
Wow, Wow, Wow, Nathan! That last paragraph just sizzled. Just my "cup of tea" as they say. Beautiful. Part three? I am in, my friend!
Thanks so much, Sharron!
You took me with you to the Garden of the Moon -- and romance to come?
Possibly, possibly. ;)
Thanks so much, Mary!
Superb, Nathan. This is a piece that I would easily quote in its entirety. A botanist, but not the usual type. This phrase incorporates all the magic of this story. Your descriptions are, as always, a masterclass in detail oriented prose. Can't wait to read the continuation of this.
Thanks so much, Silvio. That single line is the only line that started in my head at the very beginning. I knew there was something there in that, something mysterious that needed to be uncovered, and, in some ways, still needs to be uncovered.
It's been a tough few weeks of severe lack of inspiration, creativity, and drive (I very much blame work), but I feel it coming back slowly now and hope to finish this off this week.
You draw us in irresistibly so, to that plaza, to be at peace, in that garden. Also, ochre sun! Always love to read your prose, exquisite, as always.
Thanks!! Just need to get the next piece written and concluded. Last few weeks have been very anti-creativity, unfortunately.
That ending, that isn't yet an ending! My parents warned me about going off with strange women (or was it just strangers?), so I'm on tenterhooks now.
Hehe thanks Terry. It's been a busy and distracting week with work, so everything is delayed, but there will be a continuation soon!
Oh! God, I hope the reply was Yes! I will! ... Just lovely, Nathan - we are there in that cloud of flowers witnessing...
Thanks Troy! Lovely to hear you’re enjoying. Sorry for such a slow reply. This week has been hectic.
No worries, we all move at diff speeds on different days. ;)
I already don't want this story to end Nathan, you've woven such a glorious and sumptuous scent of botanical lushness into so many sentences, I feel adrift in the dreamlike haze of the heat unable to resist the mystery, "like an ocean tugged at by a distant moon."
Gorgeous writing, as irresistible as the botanists "words that were coy and hinting at something else".
I wonder what or where they will lead?
Thank you thank you, Susie.
Well, at the moment, I'm so drowned in work that there's not much chance of it ending because I'm barely getting to write any. :(
Nathan I know my friend, I know... I have been trying to finish a short fiction for weeks,- maybe I mentioned it - its so long since I picked it up I have lost all flow of the story completely and am beginning to lose hope of every finishing it at all... 😔
I hope you can find the thread again at some point soon! I’m sure the flow will return.
Wonderful, just wonderful. I'm not one for reading things in installments generally (too frustrating!) but this is lovely. So many excellent, beautiful sentences so satiates in and of itself, whilst also leaving you wanting more. It feels familiar, somehow. Not the writing, I don't mean that - but the scene, the atmosphere, the feelings the place and she herself, the botanist, evokes in him.. and it's a testament to your powers that it's so.
Thank you, Emma. That’s so lovely to hear. Apologies for my much-delayed reply.