Damn, Nathan. This is so beautiful and evocative. I'm left with a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth about Mara. An experiment that, if intentional, was perfectly successful and perhaps necessary for what's to come (I hope much more, as I've been enjoying this so much). The descriptive passage about the green bank's lamp on the desk is so masterfully written and enriched by little details like "my fingers toying with the little switch that dangled from the green shade," that I've gone back and re-read it several times. Also, I love how you start off that paragraph with "The day before I found her dead," which provokes a sudden change of perspective on the story. Another great episode!
Thanks, Silvio, I love hearing your thoughts on this. As you know by now I'm sure, I like to keep things a little ambiguous. Everything is from the narrator's POV, so there is always a question of reliability there, but I also wanted to try to convey the deterioration of a relationship through shifting obsessions, regardless of how it is perceived by our protagonist.
This has ended up being a little more of a drawn out tale than I had originally planned, which I think I'm quite ok with :)
A dark and unsettling chapter, Nathan. Not just with the obsession over the stone growing in both their minds but also the complete collapse of their relationship which is probably being exacerbated by its presence
Well Nathan, I'm intrigued to say the least. Fantastic writing as always but there is something just under the surface that is wonderfully troubling - like the skittering you mentioned inside the rock. I love the word skittering, always have, only one word but it can be so terrifying. Onto the next part! Thanks for sharing. - Jim
I just hit post, and found it amusing that Susie and Kimberly highlighted the same quote . Not the first time we found ourselves together in the same place. Ah, great minds…you know the rest. Ooh wait, maybe the stone has something to do with it🪨
“…the stone, I realised, willed me back. The nag of a desperate lover, the hopelessness of war, the sorrow of time … it was all these things, crawling on my skin to burrow into my heart.”
I love this Nathan. All of it. The stone , with a mind of its own, seemingly taunting. Its blade like edge, already severing . So many unanswered questions weaving through your story. A testament to your writing style. Leaves me always wanting more, as opposed
to , will ya just tell us already. I love the suspense. My curious nature prompted me to take a take a peek into Obsidian. All sorts of juicy info , which I won’t list here.
I remember my dad had a banker’s lamp on his desk . He had a room at home we called his office, but he already had a large office at his place of work. His lamp had a wine bottle green glass shade, in a long oval shape. I always wondered why he never seemed to actually ‘work’ at his home desk. He did spend many hours there, behind closed doors. I don’t remember seeing any black rock on display, but then again, maybe it was in the drawer😬.
“…the stone, I realised, willed me back. The nag of a desperate lover, the hopelessness of war, the sorrow of time … it was all these things, crawling on my skin to burrow into my heart.”
You word this in such a way that makes the reader uncertain as to whether the desperate lover is you or your obsidian stone… what is clear is that it is powerful and mysterious and like a worm holds you in its charm - more so than you are prepared for I fear…
Great writing as always Nathan… I look forward to the next/final? chapter.
The will of the stone! Love this idea that it draws something secretive and elusive from a human, almost like another lover in the house, hidden away but so very much central to the relationship.
You describe it with such visceral detail!
“the stone, I realised, willed me back. The nag of a desperate lover, the hopelessness of war, the sorrow of time … it was all these things, crawling on my skin to burrow into my heart.”
I am particularly enamored by this piece Nathan. I found a river rock over two decades ago and I’ve kept it all this time. It resides in the compartment between the seats of my car and I worry it between my fingers whenever I drive. I don’t know that it holds the dark mystery of your obsidian stone, but it has some kind of power over me!
Thanks for sharing this, Ben. Love that you have that river rock. May its heart be a warm thing and not the strange darkness of our protagonist's here.
All the mystery is so good - "before I found her dead" and the fight over the stone. I also love the way the details of items create the mystery as well, even just by their shapes and positioning - or perhaps rather, the way the narrator experiences them. This part and this whole paragraph especially:
"And so it was that it was banished to my study, where I positioned it on my desk beside the banker’s lamp with its brass base and green shade, the kind that emitted a hue such as to impress upon its owner some arcane quality to be had beneath its light..."
I toiled endlessly over that part of the paragraph. It perhaps still didn't quite get to where I wanted it, but I was happy enough to leave it be in my belated posted.
I'm reading this delicious morsel with a thunderstorm raging outside...perfect.
How very appropriate! It was intentional … or maybe the stone did it.
Only the stone knows...⚡️💀
Damn, Nathan. This is so beautiful and evocative. I'm left with a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth about Mara. An experiment that, if intentional, was perfectly successful and perhaps necessary for what's to come (I hope much more, as I've been enjoying this so much). The descriptive passage about the green bank's lamp on the desk is so masterfully written and enriched by little details like "my fingers toying with the little switch that dangled from the green shade," that I've gone back and re-read it several times. Also, I love how you start off that paragraph with "The day before I found her dead," which provokes a sudden change of perspective on the story. Another great episode!
Thanks, Silvio, I love hearing your thoughts on this. As you know by now I'm sure, I like to keep things a little ambiguous. Everything is from the narrator's POV, so there is always a question of reliability there, but I also wanted to try to convey the deterioration of a relationship through shifting obsessions, regardless of how it is perceived by our protagonist.
This has ended up being a little more of a drawn out tale than I had originally planned, which I think I'm quite ok with :)
Yes, I think the narrator is not so much unreliable, but one-sided. I'd like to read the story from Mara's point of view. 😆
Thanks Terry!
That would make an interesting side story to try and write!
I look forward to reading it! I did that with one of the EiS versions -- and you liked it! https://terryfreedman.substack.com/i/137330705/another-viewpoint
A dark and unsettling chapter, Nathan. Not just with the obsession over the stone growing in both their minds but also the complete collapse of their relationship which is probably being exacerbated by its presence
Brilliantly done 👍🏼
Thanks, Dan, much appreciated.
Well Nathan, I'm intrigued to say the least. Fantastic writing as always but there is something just under the surface that is wonderfully troubling - like the skittering you mentioned inside the rock. I love the word skittering, always have, only one word but it can be so terrifying. Onto the next part! Thanks for sharing. - Jim
Thank you, Jim, very much appreciate it.
It is indeed a great word and it felt most appropriate to be placed here.
I just hit post, and found it amusing that Susie and Kimberly highlighted the same quote . Not the first time we found ourselves together in the same place. Ah, great minds…you know the rest. Ooh wait, maybe the stone has something to do with it🪨
Hehe, great minds, strange stones... it's one or both of these ;)
Probably not the last either.!! X
“…the stone, I realised, willed me back. The nag of a desperate lover, the hopelessness of war, the sorrow of time … it was all these things, crawling on my skin to burrow into my heart.”
I love this Nathan. All of it. The stone , with a mind of its own, seemingly taunting. Its blade like edge, already severing . So many unanswered questions weaving through your story. A testament to your writing style. Leaves me always wanting more, as opposed
to , will ya just tell us already. I love the suspense. My curious nature prompted me to take a take a peek into Obsidian. All sorts of juicy info , which I won’t list here.
I remember my dad had a banker’s lamp on his desk . He had a room at home we called his office, but he already had a large office at his place of work. His lamp had a wine bottle green glass shade, in a long oval shape. I always wondered why he never seemed to actually ‘work’ at his home desk. He did spend many hours there, behind closed doors. I don’t remember seeing any black rock on display, but then again, maybe it was in the drawer😬.
That makes me happy if I'm eliciting a sense of always wanting more and not wanting to just know/be told. :D
Hah, very cool that you dad had a banker's lamp. I do think they're quite nifty things. Alas, I don't actually own one myself...
I have just pulled the same quote as Kimberly…
“…the stone, I realised, willed me back. The nag of a desperate lover, the hopelessness of war, the sorrow of time … it was all these things, crawling on my skin to burrow into my heart.”
You word this in such a way that makes the reader uncertain as to whether the desperate lover is you or your obsidian stone… what is clear is that it is powerful and mysterious and like a worm holds you in its charm - more so than you are prepared for I fear…
Great writing as always Nathan… I look forward to the next/final? chapter.
Thanks so much, Susie. This ambiguity is what I love.
I think there might be two left, actually, which is longer than my original intention.
Even better.!
The will of the stone! Love this idea that it draws something secretive and elusive from a human, almost like another lover in the house, hidden away but so very much central to the relationship.
You describe it with such visceral detail!
“the stone, I realised, willed me back. The nag of a desperate lover, the hopelessness of war, the sorrow of time … it was all these things, crawling on my skin to burrow into my heart.”
Astute observations 😊 I'm very down with this analysis. Thanks so much, Kim.
I am particularly enamored by this piece Nathan. I found a river rock over two decades ago and I’ve kept it all this time. It resides in the compartment between the seats of my car and I worry it between my fingers whenever I drive. I don’t know that it holds the dark mystery of your obsidian stone, but it has some kind of power over me!
Thanks for sharing this, Ben. Love that you have that river rock. May its heart be a warm thing and not the strange darkness of our protagonist's here.
All the mystery is so good - "before I found her dead" and the fight over the stone. I also love the way the details of items create the mystery as well, even just by their shapes and positioning - or perhaps rather, the way the narrator experiences them. This part and this whole paragraph especially:
"And so it was that it was banished to my study, where I positioned it on my desk beside the banker’s lamp with its brass base and green shade, the kind that emitted a hue such as to impress upon its owner some arcane quality to be had beneath its light..."
Great read, Nathan!
Thanks Kate, love these thoughts!
I toiled endlessly over that part of the paragraph. It perhaps still didn't quite get to where I wanted it, but I was happy enough to leave it be in my belated posted.
I think it's great now, but maybe if you come back to it in a week or more you'll see what it is that's brewing in your mind :)
An intriguing piece of the puzzle!
Thanks Holly!
Golly... I don't know, but I thought he should keep that stone and get rid of Mara. And then, apparently fate stepped in....?
Heh, yes. The obsession from love to a rock.
Really looking forward to seeing where this is going.
Oh no, what has he done? 😧
Ah, I feel like I'm reading your thoughts on real-time. ;)
Such heartbreaking ending lines. No closure, only heaviness of grief and stone. Achingly beautiful, as always, Nathan!
Thanks, Nadia. “Heaviness of grief and stone.” How wonderfully put!
Very powerful
Thank you, sir.
Major One Ring to rule them all vibes - that rock didn't like being put in a drawer!
Heh, yes, that level of "my precious" was something I wanted to come through.
Hope all is well with you, Troy.