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Daniel O’Donnell's avatar

“For the rest of that day I stayed there by the waves, a witness to the eternal and uncaring crash of the sea. The water crept and edged toward my body as the sun dipped out of the sky, and by moonlight I salted the sand with my endless tears.”

I know you don’t like endings, Nathan, but that’s a great last paragraph. As Nick said it’s so wonderfully evocative that I can clearly picture him sitting weeping on that sand as the waves roll in

Brilliantly done 👍🏼

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Lor's avatar
Sep 5Edited

Your last paragraph, an excellent grand finale! My clothes sticking uncomfortably, wet from the sand , but I’m unable to leave. Though most of us want the story to continue, the author has the final say. Or does he?

If this were a movie (and it should be) the last scene pans out across the endless waters then plunges down to the dark unknowns, a glint of reflection far below. Not even you , could find the power to destroy it.

I still say, a ‘flavor’ of Patrick Rothfuss in your writing. Just to prove my point, here is one example of PR’s ability to create a scene with words alone. Like someone else I know…

“The third silence was not an easy thing to notice. If you listened for an hour, you might begin to feel it in the wooden floor underfoot and in the rough, splintering barrels behind the bar. It was in the weight of the black stone hearth that held the heat of a long-dead fire. It was in the slow back and forth of a white linen cloth rubbing along the grain of the bar. and it was in the hands of the man who stood there, polishing a stretch of mahogany that already gleamed in the lamplight.”

Patrick Rothfuss ~The Name of the Wind.

(Makes you want to read it again).

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