Wait. Wow. Here in lies the cruelty of serialized stories! I was NOT ready for this to end. Your scenes and character interaction are always so deliciously vivid. Lush. Intoxicating really. I’m seeing a femme fatale theme in your work and I’m intrigued to know someday the origin/catalyzing forces behind you writing such mysterious, powerful women.
I've started to notice that theme too! 😆 I don't think it's necessarily been a conscious process, I think I'm just overly drawn to writing about interactions between people and that has often gone to a place of relationships on the page. (My worry is that it'll become too frequent and unoriginal in my writing...)
You know, I was discussing with Jo (my wife) just the other day about my own history of relationships and whether I should write about any of that. There's a big swirling mess of it in my mind, so in some ways it'd probably be therapeutic... but I don't know.
Anyway, thank you as always Kimberly. I so appreciate you reading and hearing your thoughts x
My mind is doing flipflops trying to imagine where he's writing from? A Thai prison? The bottom of a well? A cave of wonders in the jungle? The Phantom Zone? ;)
So, this is great. I mean, I can feel the way it breathes though I don't think I've seen the original. Breathing room is something I've been thinking a lot about in writing (fiction). I just finished this debut novel from a French writer of Dutch origin - Emma Doude van Troostwijk / Ceux qui appartiennent au jour. Anyway, she leaves all this actual physical space between paragraphs or scenes and it just lives so delicately that way. I think this is what we get by cutting things out, even if it's not as extreme as hers.
Also - I was reading one of many reshared interviews with Paul Auster yesterday (RIP, so so so sad!!). And he was talking about creating an imaginary world that totally immerses your reader and then paradoxically through that suspension of disbelief, the reader can fully believe you. He gave Hawthorne as the best example, with The Scarlet Letter specifically. It doesn't have to be a non-Earthly world, but it just pulls you into something that is clearly fiction where we can fully live whilst reading. Does that make sense? Anyway, it feels like that's what you're doing here, Nathan.
Ok I'm back again again! I didn't realise that Paul had only just passed a few days ago. That's very sad to hear. I only knew of his literary influence indirectly (and through your posts when you've spoken of him).
In reading about him just now, I realised we shared the same birthday.
Ok I'm back. Loving the interview, thank you for the link. I really *have* to read City of Glass!
Re space, makes me think of Mark Danieleswki leaving deliberate space throughout his The Familiar series (and for different reasons in House of Leaves).
Thanks so much Kate. I'm just walking as I write this, so I will get to it properly soon and digest all this info and the link. Appreciate you sharing that here 🤗
"With my drink finished, I felt naked. The barman was tending someone else. He may as well have been on another island." 😅 Love the humour, the suspense and intrigue and the nuggets of truth. Some people even read the last page of a book in the shop before they buy it...
I haven't read the previous version, it's great to go back and edit our work into something new. Looking forward to the conclusion!
yep, if you spend enough time in bookshops you'll see them playing the "Book Ender's Game" I suppose they want to see if they like how it ends before committing to read... then again, defeats the purpose, no?
I've sometimes wondered how I stumbled onto your Substack right at the beginning, and when I had only started exploring Substack myself. A fluke of timing.
As usual you have the ability to create mystery and intrigue even in a bar conversation. This is such a tight story and the dialogue is so real. I only watch trailers! I wonder what her proposition will be…
A totally novel opening here, Nathan. I was instantly curious. Then the switch and this great line:"That night started with toothpicks." Who would not want to keep reading? Very effective. I hadn't read the original version, but I would not change a thing about this one. Superb! Thanks for taking all that time to edit. It is evident, believe me.
What a curious character! But she has a point. Some movies can be so long. A lot of trailers give everything away anyways. Hah! A fascinating interaction between strangers I would love to see in screen (not sure how she would feel about it though - haha!).
I'm laughing at myself for being so offended by a non-existent person, but, just the blurb...?? 😱 This is already a horror story. I enjoyed, I was offended, I am intrigued, and I'm excited for the next one...is part two also a reworking or is what follows newly written?
She stifled a laugh, catching it in pressed lips…wonderful piece of imagery here, Nathan. Just vibrates with momentum and revelation for this short piece. Always a pleasure reading what you put out each week! Keep it up!
My God dude, I’m hooked. Your stories are usually so surreal, much like your dream-themed posts, and it’s often hard to put your finger on what’s really happening. I loved that this one is more concrete! Really, really looking forward to seeing the continuation!!!
Wait. Wow. Here in lies the cruelty of serialized stories! I was NOT ready for this to end. Your scenes and character interaction are always so deliciously vivid. Lush. Intoxicating really. I’m seeing a femme fatale theme in your work and I’m intrigued to know someday the origin/catalyzing forces behind you writing such mysterious, powerful women.
I've started to notice that theme too! 😆 I don't think it's necessarily been a conscious process, I think I'm just overly drawn to writing about interactions between people and that has often gone to a place of relationships on the page. (My worry is that it'll become too frequent and unoriginal in my writing...)
You know, I was discussing with Jo (my wife) just the other day about my own history of relationships and whether I should write about any of that. There's a big swirling mess of it in my mind, so in some ways it'd probably be therapeutic... but I don't know.
Anyway, thank you as always Kimberly. I so appreciate you reading and hearing your thoughts x
It would be fascinating to read, as long as your relationship history doesn’t bend into foreshadowing your wife into some femme fatale character.😂
Hahaha 😉
Totally. You can’t invent serial short story as a new form here Nathan. It’s cruel and unusual.
😅
Oops, sorry. I should have perhaps put a "Part 1 of 2" in the subtitle instead ;)
Have you read Divisadero? Got me thinking about the woman in Divisadero by Michael Ondaatje. Don’t remember her name. She entraps Cooper.
I haven't, no, but I just looked it up and read the synopsis. Sounds intriguing. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. :)
She's written so well, your Thai woman; is what I'm saying also. Sorry to bring up/distract with another woman. 😀
Hehe, nothing to apologise for, always love hearing about books I've not heard of.
And thank you, that's lovely feedback to hear. 🤗
My mind is doing flipflops trying to imagine where he's writing from? A Thai prison? The bottom of a well? A cave of wonders in the jungle? The Phantom Zone? ;)
;)
Hehe. I love all of these.
So, this is great. I mean, I can feel the way it breathes though I don't think I've seen the original. Breathing room is something I've been thinking a lot about in writing (fiction). I just finished this debut novel from a French writer of Dutch origin - Emma Doude van Troostwijk / Ceux qui appartiennent au jour. Anyway, she leaves all this actual physical space between paragraphs or scenes and it just lives so delicately that way. I think this is what we get by cutting things out, even if it's not as extreme as hers.
Also - I was reading one of many reshared interviews with Paul Auster yesterday (RIP, so so so sad!!). And he was talking about creating an imaginary world that totally immerses your reader and then paradoxically through that suspension of disbelief, the reader can fully believe you. He gave Hawthorne as the best example, with The Scarlet Letter specifically. It doesn't have to be a non-Earthly world, but it just pulls you into something that is clearly fiction where we can fully live whilst reading. Does that make sense? Anyway, it feels like that's what you're doing here, Nathan.
It was in this one: https://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/121/the-art-of-fiction-no-178-paul-auster
Ok I'm back again again! I didn't realise that Paul had only just passed a few days ago. That's very sad to hear. I only knew of his literary influence indirectly (and through your posts when you've spoken of him).
In reading about him just now, I realised we shared the same birthday.
You are connected then! His work is just incredible.
Ok I'm back. Loving the interview, thank you for the link. I really *have* to read City of Glass!
Re space, makes me think of Mark Danieleswki leaving deliberate space throughout his The Familiar series (and for different reasons in House of Leaves).
Another I’ve yet to read! Interesting.
Thanks so much Kate. I'm just walking as I write this, so I will get to it properly soon and digest all this info and the link. Appreciate you sharing that here 🤗
"With my drink finished, I felt naked. The barman was tending someone else. He may as well have been on another island." 😅 Love the humour, the suspense and intrigue and the nuggets of truth. Some people even read the last page of a book in the shop before they buy it...
I haven't read the previous version, it's great to go back and edit our work into something new. Looking forward to the conclusion!
Thanks for reading, Alexander!
A medley of things going on ;)
Reading the last page in the shop? 😮😮
yep, if you spend enough time in bookshops you'll see them playing the "Book Ender's Game" I suppose they want to see if they like how it ends before committing to read... then again, defeats the purpose, no?
This Nin person is clearly a monster. Only watches trailers??? Blurbs!?! They are going to do some messed up stuff with our narrator.
Isn’t it nice to go back and see how your writing sensibilities evolve? Thanks for re-posting this.
Haha, yeah, I know right! Who'd do such a thing?!
Thanks for the read, Clancy. Appreciate it. I was nervous to go back, to be honest, but it ended up being a lot of fun.
I read it the first time. 😁
Ah, you were one of the first 🤗
Thanks, Caz.
Well, up to you whether you want to go there again...
I've sometimes wondered how I stumbled onto your Substack right at the beginning, and when I had only started exploring Substack myself. A fluke of timing.
As usual you have the ability to create mystery and intrigue even in a bar conversation. This is such a tight story and the dialogue is so real. I only watch trailers! I wonder what her proposition will be…
Thanks so much Ben! Only Nin has the answer... she has whispered it in my ear and... well, I can't say right now ;)
A totally novel opening here, Nathan. I was instantly curious. Then the switch and this great line:"That night started with toothpicks." Who would not want to keep reading? Very effective. I hadn't read the original version, but I would not change a thing about this one. Superb! Thanks for taking all that time to edit. It is evident, believe me.
Thank you, Sharron, that's incredibly kind.
No need to go read the original haha, I'm happy it's buried deep in the archives.
What a curious character! But she has a point. Some movies can be so long. A lot of trailers give everything away anyways. Hah! A fascinating interaction between strangers I would love to see in screen (not sure how she would feel about it though - haha!).
Yes, some truth in her words, hehe.
Lovely to have you here, Nadia. Thanks for dropping by.
High five!!!
Is it normal that I should feel jealous of your fictional characters? 😜
Hahaha. Erm...
Very interesting to read this second, after the conclusion. Loved it each way.
that’s great that you’re revisiting and editing earlier posts, there’s always new readers like me to come along and experience it fresh.
Appreciate you playtesting the reverse read ;)
Thanks so much for being here, Van.
Oh I totally read the end first! Made this first part delightful! Can see the calculation and coldness…
👌🙏
Thanks, Brian.
I figured that might happen, but I'm glad it worked even this way around!
I was gripped from the beginning to the very unexpected end, beautifully executed, Nathan, looking forward to more!
Thanks Mya, so appreciate you reading!
I'm laughing at myself for being so offended by a non-existent person, but, just the blurb...?? 😱 This is already a horror story. I enjoyed, I was offended, I am intrigued, and I'm excited for the next one...is part two also a reworking or is what follows newly written?
Hehe, thanks Chloe.
I guess I should be happy that I can elicit such a range of emotions from something fictional ;
Part two is a reworking, although substantially more so than part one. I'm hoping I can get it completed before the end of the week.
Looking forward to it!
She stifled a laugh, catching it in pressed lips…wonderful piece of imagery here, Nathan. Just vibrates with momentum and revelation for this short piece. Always a pleasure reading what you put out each week! Keep it up!
Thanks Brian, I'm glad you enjoyed and got some visuals out of this :)
My God dude, I’m hooked. Your stories are usually so surreal, much like your dream-themed posts, and it’s often hard to put your finger on what’s really happening. I loved that this one is more concrete! Really, really looking forward to seeing the continuation!!!
Thanks so much my friend, I'm really glad you liked it, and yes, it's good to play around with style a be a bit more concrete, hehe.