The Heist is on! Jisa (even though her name is not mentioned) is the penultimate hacker, isn't she? The whole scene is supercharged, brimming with atmosphere, it reminded me a bit of Neuromancer, jacking in, hacking the firewall, the Kernel. Good stuff! I don't remember this Mondo Dovontor character, I think this is the first mention. Sleazeball, corrupt, we don't like him, Rutan scum! Excellent cliffhanger, we need to decrypt now, defrag, get to the message!
I love the small oasis of quiet in all the frantic energy!
“… and then, with a sudden, casual dip, it is gone, its departure almost graceful as it tumbles away. A distant, calm part of my mind wonders where it will land.”
Then BAM!💥 We’re right back in it!
“Water hits me, soaking me as my hood is torn back, my computer’s screen now drenched.”
Wow, Nathan! I have absolutely no idea how you pull off this kind of a hat-trick where I really don’t have any idea about the backstory of this character or the world and yet the way you write it with such intensity makes me invested. Such suspense I love the image of fingers flicking over the keyboard as if it were hot.
Jisa, Jisa... You're a lucky bug! I hope she gets down okay. This is nerve wracking, nail biting, totally immersive! My kind of experience. I can still feel the rain dripping down my back.
She got it!! Yay, but will she end up regretting it? Great stuff, Nathan, I could feel that icy rain and wind while I was looking over Jisa's shoulder at the laptop now plummeting down on to someone's head, we presume... 😱
Absolutely brilliant, Nathan. It’s just after half eleven at night here, so I’m finally getting peace and quiet to finally sit down and read this. And what a read it was!
Words like propulsive and urgency have been used in other comments and they’re spot on, but to me reading this was like being on a sail boat in the middle of a storm. You’re trying to keep control and you think it’s spinning away from you and then that moment of calm comes for you to regroup and it all kicks off again. “The deep breath before the plunge” I think Gandalf called it
Wonderfully descriptive and, you’re right, you don’t need to be fully up to speed with what has gone before as the story grabs you by the hand and drags you along with it into this strange new world
I love this ride. Like, I feel as I read this, I’m just suspended in air moving through the words like an energy. So many mysteries and yet I feel comfortable sitting in this labyrinth because its mysteries are both fearful and alluring. Laconian objet petit a comes to mind, like the strange desires we always keep with us.
A greatly propulsive entry—tense and breathless. I like to think of you writing at top speed, doing your best to keep up with Jisa as she hurtles down the page ahead of you!
What a gripping scene - I also got Neuromancer vibes with the mental flow of the hack, although I like your version better. Brae had been my favorite of your two stories up until now, but this certainly caught my attention and made me want to know Jisa better! Always thrilling to see a character being absolutely brilliant at what they do.
Also, are you familiar with Nina Schuyler's Substack called Stunning Sentences? Your careful sentence crafting makes me think you would appreciate her analyses. https://ninaschuyler.substack.com/
Thanks for sharing this Nathan! Great use of storm to mirror the tension of the “hack” (for lack of a better word) to bring us the final sentence of the piece. There is a powerful connection between to the human, technology, and nature that creates a necessary chimera to assist in the sections development. And I am a big fan of the poetic way you craft your sentence structure as the protagonist works that amplifies the urgency of the scene, yet its tempered slightly when the backstory kicks in to pair back the tension and provide some added context. Awesome read! Thanks again for sharing!
What a full body immersion! I read this and had to remind myself to breathe halfway through, the urgency and the relentless storm teasing my synapses. And then a nice big exhale at the end.:)
The Heist is on! Jisa (even though her name is not mentioned) is the penultimate hacker, isn't she? The whole scene is supercharged, brimming with atmosphere, it reminded me a bit of Neuromancer, jacking in, hacking the firewall, the Kernel. Good stuff! I don't remember this Mondo Dovontor character, I think this is the first mention. Sleazeball, corrupt, we don't like him, Rutan scum! Excellent cliffhanger, we need to decrypt now, defrag, get to the message!
I love the small oasis of quiet in all the frantic energy!
“… and then, with a sudden, casual dip, it is gone, its departure almost graceful as it tumbles away. A distant, calm part of my mind wonders where it will land.”
Then BAM!💥 We’re right back in it!
“Water hits me, soaking me as my hood is torn back, my computer’s screen now drenched.”
Wow, Nathan! I have absolutely no idea how you pull off this kind of a hat-trick where I really don’t have any idea about the backstory of this character or the world and yet the way you write it with such intensity makes me invested. Such suspense I love the image of fingers flicking over the keyboard as if it were hot.
Jisa, Jisa... You're a lucky bug! I hope she gets down okay. This is nerve wracking, nail biting, totally immersive! My kind of experience. I can still feel the rain dripping down my back.
She got it!! Yay, but will she end up regretting it? Great stuff, Nathan, I could feel that icy rain and wind while I was looking over Jisa's shoulder at the laptop now plummeting down on to someone's head, we presume... 😱
Absolutely brilliant, Nathan. It’s just after half eleven at night here, so I’m finally getting peace and quiet to finally sit down and read this. And what a read it was!
Words like propulsive and urgency have been used in other comments and they’re spot on, but to me reading this was like being on a sail boat in the middle of a storm. You’re trying to keep control and you think it’s spinning away from you and then that moment of calm comes for you to regroup and it all kicks off again. “The deep breath before the plunge” I think Gandalf called it
Wonderfully descriptive and, you’re right, you don’t need to be fully up to speed with what has gone before as the story grabs you by the hand and drags you along with it into this strange new world
Great stuff 👍🏼
I had this twice, back to back. Top notch work, Nathan, seriously 👌
I’m so behind with Precipice. Every time a new chapter comes out I want to roll into a ball and hide under the table.
I love this ride. Like, I feel as I read this, I’m just suspended in air moving through the words like an energy. So many mysteries and yet I feel comfortable sitting in this labyrinth because its mysteries are both fearful and alluring. Laconian objet petit a comes to mind, like the strange desires we always keep with us.
A greatly propulsive entry—tense and breathless. I like to think of you writing at top speed, doing your best to keep up with Jisa as she hurtles down the page ahead of you!
What a gripping scene - I also got Neuromancer vibes with the mental flow of the hack, although I like your version better. Brae had been my favorite of your two stories up until now, but this certainly caught my attention and made me want to know Jisa better! Always thrilling to see a character being absolutely brilliant at what they do.
Also, are you familiar with Nina Schuyler's Substack called Stunning Sentences? Your careful sentence crafting makes me think you would appreciate her analyses. https://ninaschuyler.substack.com/
Thanks for sharing this Nathan! Great use of storm to mirror the tension of the “hack” (for lack of a better word) to bring us the final sentence of the piece. There is a powerful connection between to the human, technology, and nature that creates a necessary chimera to assist in the sections development. And I am a big fan of the poetic way you craft your sentence structure as the protagonist works that amplifies the urgency of the scene, yet its tempered slightly when the backstory kicks in to pair back the tension and provide some added context. Awesome read! Thanks again for sharing!
What a full body immersion! I read this and had to remind myself to breathe halfway through, the urgency and the relentless storm teasing my synapses. And then a nice big exhale at the end.:)
Exhausting! But that’s only because I was so in the moment with her. Great work. Thanks so much.
Outstanding, gripping and now I have to read the rest.
Fast paced and fun! I'm going to need to catchup on the rest. Thanks for the read during lunch.