What an amazing moment: “if I could taste the colours then I’d be tasting a thousand flavours as they cascaded from its skin and into my own and moved throughout my body” — I read it all in a rush and was really annoyed when the kid interrupted her. 🙃
"Her favourite line, wailed at high pitch: Oh my god, you don’t know anything! (Special emphasis on the anything.) She’d then pause, tack on an at all at the end, as though those two additional words would lend further truth to her vitriol." We can hear this scene so clearly, it's as if we're standing right next to them.
I esp. liked the idea of recreating the aquarium scene from TWBC, and am looking forward to the conclusion next week. It's one of these instances where I feel readers would happily read on but also will be compelled to return, eager for more.
It has a natural flow and rhythm, and unforced crafting.
I'm less interested in being inside the head of a teenage girl (the character could be any gender or age, it would work just as well), more wondering where you've been hiding this assured writing voice, the sparkling imagery, the solid ground of story telling authority.
Thank you. I really appreciate that. As weeks go by, I've found I've been second-guessing myself more and more, but this did feel like I'd let go. So, thank you. That really means a lot and encourages me for Part 2, which mostly just flowed out from nowhere like this one did.
I'm just wrapping up Anathem with a few hundred pages left, and then considering what's next. (I've finally grabbed a copy of Moby Dick, because for some reason I've never read it, and so I've got that on the go too.)
I'm intrigued that Bird is one of your favorites, since there's a lot to choose from M. I'm currently in the midst of Kafka on the Shore, which I'm enjoying immensely.
I don't know where this cool story came from, Nathan, but I'm excited to hear where it goes! Really enjoy the self-interruptions about the brain and changing pace or rhythm as if the narrator is aware of the act of writing the story down.
Thanks, Kate. I don't know where it came from either 😆.
I think one of the issues that I've faced here is the narrator is aware and is writing things down, which confused my brain as to what tenses to use when 🤔
I've always found aquariums very otherworldly, and their inhabitants, yes, almost alien. Whenever I think "Oh, what must creatures from other worlds look like?" I immediately answer: Look no further than jellyfish, or centipedes, or tardigrades. All this to say - and you are known for it after all - what strange, supernatural turn is this meet cute going to take? ;)
First, this didn’t feel long at all. I eagerly await the next installment.
And I loved the narrator’s connection with the cuttlefish. “Its colour was a dark blue. Then of course it wasn't and it became a myriad pattern of ochre and gold, just as those bestowed upon a forest in autumn. It glided up toward the glass, its surface cascading through a rainbow of hues.” This and the possibility of tasting the colors!!
“I wanted to ride my bicycle, to feel the wind through my hair and the beat of my heart as I edged too close to the city's trams, those great steel beasts with their perilous tracks etched into the concrete.”
What a sentence, Nathan. The great stories paint themselves in our minds eye using the least of our effort and this image appeared effortlessly as I read these words
And, in many ways, I think this story is like the Cuttlefish. Changing as it moves along. At times one thing and then another whilst gliding towards its next destination.
Brilliantly done and a real unexpected and magical joy of a tale 🐠 👏
I'm not sure how you managed to write from the perspective of a teenage girl but damn you've done it brilliantly Nathan! I read this so quickly, at roughly the speed my thoughts would have tumbled around in my own teenage head all those too may eons ago. I haven't read Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - I think my daughter has a copy, I must ask...
Once again beguiled and wanting more... are you sure this will only be two parts...? It feels like it could reach so much further.
You must ask indeed. It is a wonderfully weird book that goes off in so many random directions and yet keeps it all together, somehow. I never seem to make time to reread books (I share the same must-read-all-books lust that Yen does), but this is one I would really like to get around to rereading. However, a new Murakami releases in November! Can't wait for this. (In fact, the rhythm of the title, "The City and Its Uncertain Walls", was a subconscious influence on this piece, I think.)
I'm definitely aware that this could spiral into something much, much larger. I'm going to see how I feel once the next part is done.
This is so beautiful I wouldn't know where to start with the million things I loved. First off, the stream of consciousness prose, more evident in certain passages than others, is absolutely delightful. Some parts reminded me of Bret Easton Ellis's style, especially in his last novel, The Shards (I don't know whether you've read it, or if you're a fan at all), which I liked very much. Some passages that will remain etched in my memory for a long while: "And it’s not like I didn’t have friends. It’s just I could only handle them in small doses. My social batteries would burn out from a single evening and take at least a week to recover." -- I loved this one because I saw myself so clearly in it; "I wanted to see the jellyfish, and surely the more simplistic array of neurons embedded within the body of a jellyfish didn’t allow for concepts such as depression" -- this is just brilliant; and the Murakami reference, with that quote of his, "And look at the beautiful way it swims. They just keep wobbling along like this until they’ve been to every ocean in the world." -- this made me think of the idea of fish, or sea creatures in general, moving seamlessly through the ocean without borders, currencies, visas, or passports, as if the ocean is one uninterrupted expanse of liquid matter where life flows (pun unintended) naturally across the globe. I don’t know if this makes sense at all, but that’s what your passage made me think of. Just a magnificent piece, Nathan, and I hope to see a continuation soon.
Silvio, once again I realise we love the same books!! The Shards was one of my favourite reads of 2023! I have such fond memories of sitting on a beanbag with the balcony doors open and the summer air wafting in and just tearing through that book at the start of 2023 in Melbourne's summer. I read it probably the fastest I've read anything in recent years. I'm a big BEE fan and I adore the style in that book. It'd make a fantastic TV series, in my opinion. (If Troy Ford sees this, he'll be able to say how much he hated the book and didn't finish it, haha, but that's OK, it's good to have different tastes, but anyway I'm totally with you on this one.)
I think my mind was focusing a little on stream of consciousness style after our conversation about your recent piece. Plus, it made so much sense to try and weave in the Murakami reference.
Thanks so much again, Silvio! Always a pleasure and honour to have you here.
Yes! I knew it! Once again, my hunch was correct. Glad to see we like the same stuff. For me too, it was a fast read (and I’m generally a slow reader). What a lovely coincidence!
Happy to hear that our conversation was a little instrumental. And Murakami: perfect!
Well if that's not a complement then I don't know what is.
Transportative! What a great word (that I thought you'd made up, but then realised you would never do such, and then checked, and indeed it is a word).
Very interesting. I need to read it again. I like the preference for rain being one thing or the other. Best line? "A detailed map of stupidity. "
Thanks, Terry.
A very late addition, that line. Glad it caught your eye.
I could use one of those maps (to manage my own unlimited stupidity!)
😂
What an amazing moment: “if I could taste the colours then I’d be tasting a thousand flavours as they cascaded from its skin and into my own and moved throughout my body” — I read it all in a rush and was really annoyed when the kid interrupted her. 🙃
Hehe, then my intention was successful. ;)
How annoying of Jeremy. Tsssk.
Thanks for reading, Julie!
"Her favourite line, wailed at high pitch: Oh my god, you don’t know anything! (Special emphasis on the anything.) She’d then pause, tack on an at all at the end, as though those two additional words would lend further truth to her vitriol." We can hear this scene so clearly, it's as if we're standing right next to them.
I esp. liked the idea of recreating the aquarium scene from TWBC, and am looking forward to the conclusion next week. It's one of these instances where I feel readers would happily read on but also will be compelled to return, eager for more.
Thanks my friend, and thanks again for your swift help.
Possible conclusion next week. Who knows! I shall have to consult the story and see...
Or it keeps going! The story wants what the story wants! Who are we to stand in the way ;)
Didn’t know about iridophores and leucophores. Thanks
You're very welcome. 😊 Thanks for reading.
Would you be offended if I said this is your best?
😲😆
No, haha. Of course not!
Thanks, Caz.
I've been sat here for days contemplating whether it's my worst ...
It has a natural flow and rhythm, and unforced crafting.
I'm less interested in being inside the head of a teenage girl (the character could be any gender or age, it would work just as well), more wondering where you've been hiding this assured writing voice, the sparkling imagery, the solid ground of story telling authority.
Thank you. I really appreciate that. As weeks go by, I've found I've been second-guessing myself more and more, but this did feel like I'd let go. So, thank you. That really means a lot and encourages me for Part 2, which mostly just flowed out from nowhere like this one did.
Btw - I happen to have both The Shards and Wind-up Bird in my pile. 😁
I really hope you like them!
I'm just wrapping up Anathem with a few hundred pages left, and then considering what's next. (I've finally grabbed a copy of Moby Dick, because for some reason I've never read it, and so I've got that on the go too.)
I'm intrigued that Bird is one of your favorites, since there's a lot to choose from M. I'm currently in the midst of Kafka on the Shore, which I'm enjoying immensely.
I've never felt an urge to read Moby Dick. 😂
I don't know where this cool story came from, Nathan, but I'm excited to hear where it goes! Really enjoy the self-interruptions about the brain and changing pace or rhythm as if the narrator is aware of the act of writing the story down.
Thanks, Kate. I don't know where it came from either 😆.
I think one of the issues that I've faced here is the narrator is aware and is writing things down, which confused my brain as to what tenses to use when 🤔
Great writing. The sibling dynamic can be deeply felt, the longing to be seen and heard and understood. I’m excited for what is to come!
Thanks, Brian! Appreciate you reading.
I've always found aquariums very otherworldly, and their inhabitants, yes, almost alien. Whenever I think "Oh, what must creatures from other worlds look like?" I immediately answer: Look no further than jellyfish, or centipedes, or tardigrades. All this to say - and you are known for it after all - what strange, supernatural turn is this meet cute going to take? ;)
Hehe, yeah, they're such strange things.
Well … this one might actually not have a supernatural turn. But we shall see. ;)
I really liked this one. Happy you’re experimenting with longer, more specific storytelling. Looking forward to the next part!
Thanks Andrei! Really pleased to hear you enjoyed.
I love the inner dialogue of this young girl you created. Right out of the gate, her voice is so clear and authentic. Brilliant.
Yay, thanks Ben. 😊
“Boys always blushed when I spoke to them. Don’t ask me why. It’s a mystery and I hate it.”
I love how strong and unapologetic her internal opinions are.
Thanks, Renee. That was my hopes here. Great to hear!
First, this didn’t feel long at all. I eagerly await the next installment.
And I loved the narrator’s connection with the cuttlefish. “Its colour was a dark blue. Then of course it wasn't and it became a myriad pattern of ochre and gold, just as those bestowed upon a forest in autumn. It glided up toward the glass, its surface cascading through a rainbow of hues.” This and the possibility of tasting the colors!!
Thanks so much Holly! 🤗
I'm so pleased it didn't feel long.
“I wanted to ride my bicycle, to feel the wind through my hair and the beat of my heart as I edged too close to the city's trams, those great steel beasts with their perilous tracks etched into the concrete.”
What a sentence, Nathan. The great stories paint themselves in our minds eye using the least of our effort and this image appeared effortlessly as I read these words
And, in many ways, I think this story is like the Cuttlefish. Changing as it moves along. At times one thing and then another whilst gliding towards its next destination.
Brilliantly done and a real unexpected and magical joy of a tale 🐠 👏
Love that analogy, Dan. Thank you!
I hope I can keep following the cuttlefish to where it wants to lead me!
I'm not sure how you managed to write from the perspective of a teenage girl but damn you've done it brilliantly Nathan! I read this so quickly, at roughly the speed my thoughts would have tumbled around in my own teenage head all those too may eons ago. I haven't read Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - I think my daughter has a copy, I must ask...
Once again beguiled and wanting more... are you sure this will only be two parts...? It feels like it could reach so much further.
Thanks so much, Susie!
You must ask indeed. It is a wonderfully weird book that goes off in so many random directions and yet keeps it all together, somehow. I never seem to make time to reread books (I share the same must-read-all-books lust that Yen does), but this is one I would really like to get around to rereading. However, a new Murakami releases in November! Can't wait for this. (In fact, the rhythm of the title, "The City and Its Uncertain Walls", was a subconscious influence on this piece, I think.)
I'm definitely aware that this could spiral into something much, much larger. I'm going to see how I feel once the next part is done.
This is so beautiful I wouldn't know where to start with the million things I loved. First off, the stream of consciousness prose, more evident in certain passages than others, is absolutely delightful. Some parts reminded me of Bret Easton Ellis's style, especially in his last novel, The Shards (I don't know whether you've read it, or if you're a fan at all), which I liked very much. Some passages that will remain etched in my memory for a long while: "And it’s not like I didn’t have friends. It’s just I could only handle them in small doses. My social batteries would burn out from a single evening and take at least a week to recover." -- I loved this one because I saw myself so clearly in it; "I wanted to see the jellyfish, and surely the more simplistic array of neurons embedded within the body of a jellyfish didn’t allow for concepts such as depression" -- this is just brilliant; and the Murakami reference, with that quote of his, "And look at the beautiful way it swims. They just keep wobbling along like this until they’ve been to every ocean in the world." -- this made me think of the idea of fish, or sea creatures in general, moving seamlessly through the ocean without borders, currencies, visas, or passports, as if the ocean is one uninterrupted expanse of liquid matter where life flows (pun unintended) naturally across the globe. I don’t know if this makes sense at all, but that’s what your passage made me think of. Just a magnificent piece, Nathan, and I hope to see a continuation soon.
Silvio, once again I realise we love the same books!! The Shards was one of my favourite reads of 2023! I have such fond memories of sitting on a beanbag with the balcony doors open and the summer air wafting in and just tearing through that book at the start of 2023 in Melbourne's summer. I read it probably the fastest I've read anything in recent years. I'm a big BEE fan and I adore the style in that book. It'd make a fantastic TV series, in my opinion. (If Troy Ford sees this, he'll be able to say how much he hated the book and didn't finish it, haha, but that's OK, it's good to have different tastes, but anyway I'm totally with you on this one.)
I think my mind was focusing a little on stream of consciousness style after our conversation about your recent piece. Plus, it made so much sense to try and weave in the Murakami reference.
Thanks so much again, Silvio! Always a pleasure and honour to have you here.
Yes! I knew it! Once again, my hunch was correct. Glad to see we like the same stuff. For me too, it was a fast read (and I’m generally a slow reader). What a lovely coincidence!
Happy to hear that our conversation was a little instrumental. And Murakami: perfect!
And, of course, thank you for the shout out to my piece. So glad it was of inspiration. :)
Transportative. I forgot that I was reading and was mildly surprised to rediscover my surroundings when I came to the end.
Well if that's not a complement then I don't know what is.
Transportative! What a great word (that I thought you'd made up, but then realised you would never do such, and then checked, and indeed it is a word).
It seemed like the right one, for some reason, but I did also look it up first, in case my sleepy mind had erred!