That last paragraph built so much tension and foreboding, Nathan, that I exhausted myself willing that nothing truly horrible would happen in that dark, odd place. Whew! I would, of course, have gone with whatever outcome you had in mind, but I am sort of hoping for something unusual and beautiful. ( At least we know he lived to tell the tale...). Masterful writing, my friend.
I love how you've stretched time and space. It makes such a great tension as they leave this reality and enter a new one. And we get to come along . . . where are we going???
.
"We descended a flight of steps so vast in number that when the steps seemed they could go on no longer, I realised I had no recollection of the distance we had travelled, the outside world—that place where moments ago I had been sat beneath an enormous, rotating sky—seeming so suddenly vague that I felt it may not have existed at all."
.
Your whole story, so far, has that wonderful balance of eerie and lushly beautiful.
It doesn't matter how long the writing takes. Take your time, but don't stop. We have to see the Moon Garden!
Thanks, Ann. I tried to capture that sense as much as I could, which in some way was done through taking far too long to write was is a very short piece!
Part of the next part is already written. The key part. The part of what the protagonist sees. But it ended up being tricky to know where to stop, so I stopped at the threshold here.
This was a stand-out line: "And so I did nothing but wait, feeling time dissolve from my body, to crumble like ancient stone, and each moment felt so long that I was certain the night should have extinguished itself, yet the sky remained dark and intact and the wind touched my skin, seeking something I could not comprehend."
I also liked the image of sliding through the door. It's as if all of this is teetering on the edge of reality and not.
A moon garden? Underground? My mind is twisting and turning in the many possibilities of what is about to be revealed behind the door! I love this! The dreamy prose in the first paragraph "those invisible creatures who from their hidden realm plied a symphony without name." gorgeous writing... flowing into something more mysterious and macabre perhaps waiting in the darker spaces of the second.
Irresistible reading Nathan, I can't wait to read the final part! Lovely to see you back here, you've been missed! 🍃
Thanks, lovely. I hate feeling distant from this place and space, but for various reasons it's just felt hard to get down into the grove again. The last week has been better, though, and I'm starting to find the time and energy again.
Hope you're doing great and spring is treating you well. 🤗
Thanks Mkwawa, very very kind of you. I will get to your thoughts shortly, but you’re always completely welcome to post them here in the comments, too. One of the things I love about literature and fiction is that no interpretation is wrong. It’s whatever the reader gets from the piece.
Nathan, I love how your writing takes me to a whole new world. So many of the scenes you paint have this otherworldly, ethereal quality—like moonlight, like deep forests, like an ancient magic.
Happy to read whenever the timing for sharing is right for you.
“My breath was whisked from my lungs. I sank to my knees, too staggered to comprehend what I saw.”
I am totally intrigued the garden of the moon is deep below ground , directly opposite of the moonlit sky. What kind of lunar life force exists below, that he cannot resist her.
“The cellar of a thousand skies”. The title alone has me dreaming of an endless room that has existed for a thousand years, a greenhouse? I love when the name alone , provokes visions, emotions, questions . Looking forward to the continued journey. Coincidently, The flower moon is the full moon of May. And tonight, one of the great mysteries of the sky; Eta Aquariids meteor shower ,one of two meteor showers created by the debris from Halley’s Comet. Up to 50 per hour! I hope to witness in the wee hours of the morning starting around 3:00am. That is, if I can get myself out of bed at that time and be conscious enough to remind myself what a grand experience it will be if I only open my window and look up. You should also be able to see ! best May 5 thru 7.
Missed you too! It's great to be back. I hope I can keep it up. It's been a strange few weeks of being very absent, like something inside was displaced.
I'm hoping all will be revealed in the next part and that it will make sense in its own kind of way. Your "dreaming of an endless room..." is, well, very much what I was wanting the title to evoke. This was originally going to be a larger part that encompassed the revelation, but in the end I've snipped it in half.
Funnily enough, last night Jo said to me "There's something tonight with the sky, but I can't remember what!" Now we know. If I wake up around 3am then I will try and force myself out of bed, because I'd really love to sit and look up in awe at some of those flying by.
Also, I didn't know that about the flower moon. That's perfect!
Can I be greedy and ask for 100 more parts!? Oh how I’ve missed your writing, the way it instantly removes me from my Mondayness and portals me to another, supremely present realm. And of course there’s a “real moon garden!” I fall to my knees alongside your narrator, not yet seeing what he sees, but your pacing, your detailed build, brings me there nevertheless. I’m obsessed.
Teehee. If I could pump out 100 parts then I’d gladly oblige. (I need to sit with Ben and work on my story lengthening process/arcs/planning etc. 😃)
Thanks so much for coming through for a read, Kimberly. It’s been a weird hiatus for me. Something has unblocked this week, though. So I’m happy to be here and letting things flow again.
Soon enough you will see what the narrator sees. :)
I love the way this one is unfolding like a dream remembered. Your imagery is so vivid and sensual. What could the moon garden possibly be?!
Thanks, Ben. I'm hoping I can stick that landing in the next part! 😃
That last paragraph built so much tension and foreboding, Nathan, that I exhausted myself willing that nothing truly horrible would happen in that dark, odd place. Whew! I would, of course, have gone with whatever outcome you had in mind, but I am sort of hoping for something unusual and beautiful. ( At least we know he lived to tell the tale...). Masterful writing, my friend.
Thanks so much, Sharron! Truly. Thank you.
(I’m fairly confident that nothing horrible will happen. Quite the opposite, in fact!)
I love how you've stretched time and space. It makes such a great tension as they leave this reality and enter a new one. And we get to come along . . . where are we going???
.
"We descended a flight of steps so vast in number that when the steps seemed they could go on no longer, I realised I had no recollection of the distance we had travelled, the outside world—that place where moments ago I had been sat beneath an enormous, rotating sky—seeming so suddenly vague that I felt it may not have existed at all."
.
Your whole story, so far, has that wonderful balance of eerie and lushly beautiful.
It doesn't matter how long the writing takes. Take your time, but don't stop. We have to see the Moon Garden!
Thanks, Ann. I tried to capture that sense as much as I could, which in some way was done through taking far too long to write was is a very short piece!
Part of the next part is already written. The key part. The part of what the protagonist sees. But it ended up being tricky to know where to stop, so I stopped at the threshold here.
A wonder filled start of a soft yet exciting journey...into the stars and beyond.🙏🏼
Thanks, Boustan! ☺️
I love the way the outside world seems to disappear or lose its claim on reality for the narrator as he descends.
gorgeous and enthralling
Thanks, EJ. Too kind. :)
The Moon Garden: colour me intrigued.
Glad you're coloured intrigued, Terry. Hopefully the colour maintains itself for the next instalment.
Beautiful work and good to see you back, Nathan!
This was a stand-out line: "And so I did nothing but wait, feeling time dissolve from my body, to crumble like ancient stone, and each moment felt so long that I was certain the night should have extinguished itself, yet the sky remained dark and intact and the wind touched my skin, seeking something I could not comprehend."
I also liked the image of sliding through the door. It's as if all of this is teetering on the edge of reality and not.
Thanks, Kate. Lovely to have you here and sorry for my long absence and also in being rubbish at catching up on all my reading.
Hope you're well!
Definitely sitting on the precipice of reality at that door's threshold.
A moon garden? Underground? My mind is twisting and turning in the many possibilities of what is about to be revealed behind the door! I love this! The dreamy prose in the first paragraph "those invisible creatures who from their hidden realm plied a symphony without name." gorgeous writing... flowing into something more mysterious and macabre perhaps waiting in the darker spaces of the second.
Irresistible reading Nathan, I can't wait to read the final part! Lovely to see you back here, you've been missed! 🍃
Thanks, lovely. I hate feeling distant from this place and space, but for various reasons it's just felt hard to get down into the grove again. The last week has been better, though, and I'm starting to find the time and energy again.
Hope you're doing great and spring is treating you well. 🤗
It’s always great to have you in my inbox! I love this story and the intrigue and tension in every paragraph!
Thanks so much, Brian. Appreciate you being here to read this piece. 🙏
I read all three parts and I am very impressed. I see the story as an allegory.
I couldn't wait for part 4 so I left my allegorical interpretation of the story in your inbox. You can check it out and we can chat about it
Thanks Mkwawa, very very kind of you. I will get to your thoughts shortly, but you’re always completely welcome to post them here in the comments, too. One of the things I love about literature and fiction is that no interpretation is wrong. It’s whatever the reader gets from the piece.
Nathan, I love how your writing takes me to a whole new world. So many of the scenes you paint have this otherworldly, ethereal quality—like moonlight, like deep forests, like an ancient magic.
Happy to read whenever the timing for sharing is right for you.
Thanks, Holly. Lovely words much appreciated. 🙏
“My breath was whisked from my lungs. I sank to my knees, too staggered to comprehend what I saw.”
I am totally intrigued the garden of the moon is deep below ground , directly opposite of the moonlit sky. What kind of lunar life force exists below, that he cannot resist her.
“The cellar of a thousand skies”. The title alone has me dreaming of an endless room that has existed for a thousand years, a greenhouse? I love when the name alone , provokes visions, emotions, questions . Looking forward to the continued journey. Coincidently, The flower moon is the full moon of May. And tonight, one of the great mysteries of the sky; Eta Aquariids meteor shower ,one of two meteor showers created by the debris from Halley’s Comet. Up to 50 per hour! I hope to witness in the wee hours of the morning starting around 3:00am. That is, if I can get myself out of bed at that time and be conscious enough to remind myself what a grand experience it will be if I only open my window and look up. You should also be able to see ! best May 5 thru 7.
Great to hear from you, Nathan. I’ve missed you!
Missed you too! It's great to be back. I hope I can keep it up. It's been a strange few weeks of being very absent, like something inside was displaced.
I'm hoping all will be revealed in the next part and that it will make sense in its own kind of way. Your "dreaming of an endless room..." is, well, very much what I was wanting the title to evoke. This was originally going to be a larger part that encompassed the revelation, but in the end I've snipped it in half.
Funnily enough, last night Jo said to me "There's something tonight with the sky, but I can't remember what!" Now we know. If I wake up around 3am then I will try and force myself out of bed, because I'd really love to sit and look up in awe at some of those flying by.
Also, I didn't know that about the flower moon. That's perfect!
🌧️Nothing to see in VT at 3:00am, except rain splattered on my window.
Oh well, will try again tonight.
Hope you guys had better luck!
Ah that's a shame!
It's a clear night here right now, but still too early I think.
GO LOOK! Or better yet, tell Jo to get up and check it out.🛌
Too cloudy here…
Such a shame.
Alas, didn’t see any. We had a look before bed, and then early the next morning it was cloudy! :(
Can I be greedy and ask for 100 more parts!? Oh how I’ve missed your writing, the way it instantly removes me from my Mondayness and portals me to another, supremely present realm. And of course there’s a “real moon garden!” I fall to my knees alongside your narrator, not yet seeing what he sees, but your pacing, your detailed build, brings me there nevertheless. I’m obsessed.
Teehee. If I could pump out 100 parts then I’d gladly oblige. (I need to sit with Ben and work on my story lengthening process/arcs/planning etc. 😃)
Thanks so much for coming through for a read, Kimberly. It’s been a weird hiatus for me. Something has unblocked this week, though. So I’m happy to be here and letting things flow again.
Soon enough you will see what the narrator sees. :)
oh i missed part 2 rats!
I don’t think you did, Nick. Pretty sure you read that one. :) It’s just been aaaages since I’ve posted.
Always enjoy the details
Thanks Stephanie!