It feels Spanish. (Italicize feels) The movement of the image and the collapsing star (!!) move into the kind of Spanish or South American surrealism I really enjoy. Powerful start! Can’t wait to see the rest, Nathan.
The repetition of the themes regarding the cigar, the boss’s reluctance to travel while having the desire to advance the writer’s career, etc, but stated slightly differently, lends the telling a rather dreamlike quality, in my view. It’s most intriguing, and the next installment is deliciously anticipated!
That opening paragraph-—a rhythmic stunner. I noted throughout the piece, actually, an intentional repetition of words and phrases, perhaps for this rhythm but I’m intuiting something more too. Knowing a botanist is entering the picture, it made me think of the repetitive patterns of growth, how maybe this story on some meta level mirrors that repetitive/fractal-esque patterning. I know I know, I’m getting carried away! But this is what your writing does to me!
I love all your thoughts, Kimberly. You're always so nuanced and attentive with your reading and comments. (Secretly, I rely on you to tell me what my stories mean! 😉)
Please continue to be carried away. It's wonderful.
Haha! I always say that about my work. Even my narrative films—it always took me years of conversation with others to understand what the hell I had made.
Golly, Kimberly! Please come visit the micro-fiction over at 🌿Leaves. I am desperate for some one to help me understand what my stories mean! Seriously!
"I fell in love, of course. My body—grounded at once to the steps and paths of the picturesque streets—knew what it had found. There was an immediacy to it, a sensation that left me dizzy and stumbling, something I had felt only once before, far off in some other, unknown part of the world."
Nathan, it's so intriguing how his body already knows this place. I know your readers are going to fall in love with this story. I hope the writing is pure joy for you!
Definitely going to come with you! This really lived up to the promise of the opening paragraph. Bravo!
I think I fell in a bit in love with that town too. The description was perfectly idyllic. Will the botanist provide the name of those flowers blood-red? Surely her role will be more than taxonomic…
(Also, I really liked the notion of the boss sending this chap out in search of a “cigar”. Most amusing!)
The buildup to that cliffhanger at the end is just superb. I truly enjoyed the long phrases, where one effortlessly, almost naturally, follows the thread. A great start to what could be a marvellous story, Nathan -- the premise is all there, in my view. Now that I have partially re-emerged from my periodic life complications, I found solace in reading your words as a form of profound relaxation. Thank you for this. :)
Long phrases very much inspired via you and via Bolaño, whom I continue to enjoy so much but am taking very slowly. I am into Part 2 of 2666 about Amalfitano. The parallels in stories with Lola and her poet and the Critics visiting the painter are really interesting. The world and words are just so fluid.
Looking forward to your new piece. Lovely to see you back!
What an entry! I can picture it clearly, could feel, "There was a languid air that permeated throughout, an air that spoke of a single, endless siesta where nothing was urgent and everything could wait..." the town and the balconies spilling with geraniums and hibiscus, the plaza with perhaps one or two old women chatting under a gnarled olive, or maybe a flowering jacaranda... the idillic spot for gossiping in a sleepy hillside town.
I wonder though, is the botanist to be a blessing or a curse? Always you leave us in suspense Nathan, I wait in anticipation for the next chapter!
I just *knew* it wasn't only the cute little Spanish town, that there must be a botanist in the equation... ;) Because if not writing, then botany, of course.
Espana tapa treat and siesta snooze with a cordial two fingers or more wake up to start the evening esplanades with a botanist who I’m sure will be a passion flower to wrap her vines with later night expectation. I’m hanging in for a little while. You left me with a flower but about to open and become a five pointed star. This leaves me wanting to adjust my schedule for the next thrust .
excellent as always. you’ve provided a balm for my anxiety in the descriptions of this place. i am there
Thanks, Clancy. May the anxiety be banished by the endless siesta.
Excellent description. I could feel the sun and the need for a cold lemonade. I hopethe botanist turns out to be nice, not someone who prunes people.
Hehe,I have a good feeling she'll be nice.
Thanks Terry.
It feels Spanish. (Italicize feels) The movement of the image and the collapsing star (!!) move into the kind of Spanish or South American surrealism I really enjoy. Powerful start! Can’t wait to see the rest, Nathan.
Thanks, Kate. Almost certainly inspired by my recent time with Bolaño, as well as Borges.
The repetition of the themes regarding the cigar, the boss’s reluctance to travel while having the desire to advance the writer’s career, etc, but stated slightly differently, lends the telling a rather dreamlike quality, in my view. It’s most intriguing, and the next installment is deliciously anticipated!
Thank you, Rose. Dreamlike is what I feel when I read some of my favourite authors, and what I was striving to achieve via those subtle shifts.
That opening paragraph-—a rhythmic stunner. I noted throughout the piece, actually, an intentional repetition of words and phrases, perhaps for this rhythm but I’m intuiting something more too. Knowing a botanist is entering the picture, it made me think of the repetitive patterns of growth, how maybe this story on some meta level mirrors that repetitive/fractal-esque patterning. I know I know, I’m getting carried away! But this is what your writing does to me!
I love all your thoughts, Kimberly. You're always so nuanced and attentive with your reading and comments. (Secretly, I rely on you to tell me what my stories mean! 😉)
Please continue to be carried away. It's wonderful.
Haha! I always say that about my work. Even my narrative films—it always took me years of conversation with others to understand what the hell I had made.
Golly, Kimberly! Please come visit the micro-fiction over at 🌿Leaves. I am desperate for some one to help me understand what my stories mean! Seriously!
I’d be delighted!
Yes! The opening paragraph is a masterpiece.
🙏
"I fell in love, of course. My body—grounded at once to the steps and paths of the picturesque streets—knew what it had found. There was an immediacy to it, a sensation that left me dizzy and stumbling, something I had felt only once before, far off in some other, unknown part of the world."
Nathan, it's so intriguing how his body already knows this place. I know your readers are going to fall in love with this story. I hope the writing is pure joy for you!
Thank you, Ann. Thank you thank you.
I'm excited to explore what this is.
I’m excited with you!
Ugh how exciting that feeling you have must be! Do take us along, we're here for it.
Or, go on.
I shall gladly try!
Definitely going to come with you! This really lived up to the promise of the opening paragraph. Bravo!
I think I fell in a bit in love with that town too. The description was perfectly idyllic. Will the botanist provide the name of those flowers blood-red? Surely her role will be more than taxonomic…
(Also, I really liked the notion of the boss sending this chap out in search of a “cigar”. Most amusing!)
I amused myself with that, too.
"Her role will be more than taxonomic." How perfectly put!
Wonderful! There’s that word I keep reading and forgetting “undulating” must remember! Truly beautifully crafted piece, Nathan.
Thanks so much, my friend.
Great to see you around and posting again. 🤗
The buildup to that cliffhanger at the end is just superb. I truly enjoyed the long phrases, where one effortlessly, almost naturally, follows the thread. A great start to what could be a marvellous story, Nathan -- the premise is all there, in my view. Now that I have partially re-emerged from my periodic life complications, I found solace in reading your words as a form of profound relaxation. Thank you for this. :)
Long phrases very much inspired via you and via Bolaño, whom I continue to enjoy so much but am taking very slowly. I am into Part 2 of 2666 about Amalfitano. The parallels in stories with Lola and her poet and the Critics visiting the painter are really interesting. The world and words are just so fluid.
Looking forward to your new piece. Lovely to see you back!
Bolaño should indeed be taken slowly, at least that’s how it is for me. I’m planning to re-read all of 2666 at some point in the future. :)
Wait, where's the next part?? I like your descriptions. Immersive.
Thanks so much, Tiffany! Appreciate you reading. 🙏
Part 2 is coming… soon. Shortly. Asap. I hope. It’s been a hectic week, but part 2 is being written.
What an entry! I can picture it clearly, could feel, "There was a languid air that permeated throughout, an air that spoke of a single, endless siesta where nothing was urgent and everything could wait..." the town and the balconies spilling with geraniums and hibiscus, the plaza with perhaps one or two old women chatting under a gnarled olive, or maybe a flowering jacaranda... the idillic spot for gossiping in a sleepy hillside town.
I wonder though, is the botanist to be a blessing or a curse? Always you leave us in suspense Nathan, I wait in anticipation for the next chapter!
You know it, Susie! Beautiful additions with the plants. Ahh, jacarandas.
Well, I wouldn’t want to spoil the suspense, but I have a feeling the botanist is a blessing. ;)
Thanks so much for reading, and as ever an apology from me on being so behind in my Substack inbox!
I just *knew* it wasn't only the cute little Spanish town, that there must be a botanist in the equation... ;) Because if not writing, then botany, of course.
Hehe, thanks Troy. Hopefully the description doesn’t feel too outlandish for mainland Spain.
Gorgeous writing - so evocative. I really enjoyed reading this.
Thanks, Emma! 🤗
Beautiful writing.
Thank you, Jane. 🙏
Espana tapa treat and siesta snooze with a cordial two fingers or more wake up to start the evening esplanades with a botanist who I’m sure will be a passion flower to wrap her vines with later night expectation. I’m hanging in for a little while. You left me with a flower but about to open and become a five pointed star. This leaves me wanting to adjust my schedule for the next thrust .
Hehe, thanks Richard! A passion flower... I hope so too. ;)