Hmm, I’m not sure what to make of the enigmatic ending (I originally made some observations here but took them out since they probably were ‘spoilers’)!
Anyway, it was quite compelling, what with the creepy ‘this is not going to end well for the narrator’ vibe, and the necessity to read between the lines.
It should come with a warning not to read right before bed! (I did like it though!)
I particularly liked the use of the slash as a device to unexpectedly switch perspective. Very nice. (Does referencing that piece of punctuation constitute a spoiler? Sorry. But then why are you reading the comments before finishing the tale? Silly you.)
Also, “The links jangle the happy tune of purpose” is my favourite phrase amongst many; the idea that this sadistic metal so loves its grim job is particularly pleasing.
Hmm, I’m not sure what to make of the enigmatic ending (I originally made some observations here but took them out since they probably were ‘spoilers’)!
Anyway, it was quite compelling, what with the creepy ‘this is not going to end well for the narrator’ vibe, and the necessity to read between the lines.
It should come with a warning not to read right before bed! (I did like it though!)
Thanks for reading this old one, Rose.
I actually rewrote it into a two-parter, over here: https://slake.substack.com/p/within-porcelain
(In case you feel like comparing.)
Great atmosphere to this story.
I particularly liked the use of the slash as a device to unexpectedly switch perspective. Very nice. (Does referencing that piece of punctuation constitute a spoiler? Sorry. But then why are you reading the comments before finishing the tale? Silly you.)
Also, “The links jangle the happy tune of purpose” is my favourite phrase amongst many; the idea that this sadistic metal so loves its grim job is particularly pleasing.
Exactly, if someone reads down here, it is at their own peril!
(Not that many have read this, so thank you, silent editor...)