“I live, often, in the days-that-never-have, caught in the threads-of-not-yet.”
When you can create such magical sentences, no matter what you’re writing about, Nathan, then this will always be enough. The flame is always inside you. It’ll never be extinguished, but sometimes it just needs fuel to bloom again. That fuel will come from somewhere. That somewhere is a place that we wished we could easily find, but it is too gossamer and fleeting to be tied down, but yet seems to seek us out when we most need it
The Scottish band, Big Country had a great lyric :-
“Some days will stay a thousand years
Some pass like the flash of a spark
Who knows where all our days go?”
These are things we all ponder trying to make sense of where we’re going
And as Kung Fu Panda says, “Today is a gift, that is why it’s called the present” 🙂
Enjoy the gift of days and nurture the flame. It’s all we can do. And that will always be enough 👍🏼
This is a beautiful reply and set of words and thoughts, thank you Dan. Truly. I'm snipping this one and saving it in my folder for inspiration and warmth :)
You manage to write about something eloquently while lamenting not writing. I often think it helps to write why it is hard to write (fiction) and that sometimes new ideas form. It reminds me of parts of Solenoid I have been reading (nearly finished).
This part - there is a tension so personal and interior - one that only a writer can be aware of I think --
"I sit and watch and listen to the enthusiasm and vigour with which they speak, confused that I can, when needed, wear that hat, that the milliner of my mind could, in a mere moment, proffer it up for me to wear and allow me to move about the room as though I wore something that truly fit.
But it doesn’t. I worry that it doesn’t. Not anymore. The material frays. It is lopsided, obvious.
The engagement I desire is of words and worlds, the brilliance of the page, the quill and the ink."
Thank you, Kate. I'm sure you knew where my brain was idling after your post the other day ;)
You are likely slightly ahead of me in Solenoid, despite how long ago I started! My reading has been a little unfocussed of late, but that book, its contents and its style has had a big impact on me.
I can see that ;) I hope it doesn't push you into the difficult side of that tension. I have been anticipating it myself this week.
I am about 100 pages out, but I want to take my time with the end. I need to catch up on the Wolf Crawl and will come back to that soon. We can find a way to discuss...
This slice of life delights me, Nathan. I think there’s nothing more satisfying and interesting and beautiful than an honest human voice trying to understand itself. The sea photo is breathtaking. It’s quietly letting you know that something new is coming ashore in your work. Rest while you can. You’re going to need a deep well of energy to keep up with it all soon.
Thank you Ann. That means a lot. I've been worried this was too much of an open and confusing overshare, especially considering the slew of unsubscribes this post elicited 🙄
I agree with Ann!! Being human and connecting through all kinds of writing moments takes mountain ranges of courage, and unsubscribing is just the click of a button.
That's a very good point. Thank you, Elnora. I think I was feeling a little sensitive after I posted this piece, and seeing the flurry of instant subscribes just stung a bit.
Of course it did. It’s also a weird moment in social media land. Lots of big creators on YouTube are “quitting” and people seem to be loosing their minds over that. Lots of attention shifting about. But no matter the reason, unsubscribes are about them not you.
Ahh the muse, fleeting, kissing strangers, while absent we long for her return. And return she will. It’s good to write, fiction or not. A writer always writes even when not writing! ✍️
The second part of the post speaks to me so much! I never think about law when I’m alone, but when I find myself in a room of fellow legal professionals, a sort of excitement I don’t recognize creeps up from a place I’m not familiar with, and I find myself matching their glee, only to return to not caring about it one bit once I leave the room. Weird.
That is very well put, and I'm deeply familiar with it in my own work: a sudden deep investment (even emotional!) in the focus of my professional life. It's like there's some giant career flywheel spinning around that I can engage effortlessly and then, the second the requirement has passed I disconnect the whole thing and wonder where all that enthusiasm and focus was coming from. Yes, weird. I'm hoping my creative work isn't doing exactly the same thing, mechanically engaging and disengaging.
Oh I’m so envious that this is a rare state for you! And that from it, you managed to write something so beautiful. Before I’d even reached the picture, your words had me feeling as though I were looking out to sea, longing for something tangible, but just out of reach. I don’t there has ever, ever been a time between posts where I haven’t sat down to write and my body has gone cold and the only thought I can summon is, “Nope. Nothing to say.”
I can’t help but wonder whether us writing folk are in a very precarious and delicate relationship with something that is separate to us, but is nonetheless ours, and ‘things’ (to be annoyingly vague) have to line up in a certain way for the relationship to be a communicative one. As I write I realise I’m talking about the Muse. And realising that I need to start treating mine a little more respectfully... 💛
From those moments of "Nope" you always manage to craft something of purity, so whatever your process is you're doing it right 😉
Yes, very very true. The muse, which may as well be called "the thing", because it is an intangible, vague thing most of the time, but perhaps the Muse prefers to be known as The Muse in order to afford the proper amount of respect 😊
Reading through the comments, I see I am not the only one who felt a connection to this little piece (which I can't believe prompted unsubscribes! It's not even long - isn't that the cardinal sin?)
Anyway, really beautiful writing as usual and I must say there's something both pleasurable and pure about sitting with someone in a moment of melancholy without needing an answer. So thank you for letting us sit with you in that moment.
Thank you Stephanie. That's a lovely comment and much appreciated. Thank you for taking a moment to sit here and read for a few moments. I'm glad you found some connection here.
And yes, I think this is possibly my shortest ever piece, spurring the most unsubscribes haha, so ... 🤷♂️
Nathan, enjoyed your writing about not writing. The writing that resonates the most with me is that which comes from a place of discomfort and truth. It is essential that our writing is honest, clinging to the truth of who we are, good and bad.
I am in the final stretch of a 24 year military career. As I sit in meetings I encounter the same experience you describe, listening to the cacophony echo around me but my interest has waned and my mind is elsewhere. I have no regrets, it is simply time to move on.
I relate to this so much. Wondering what would have happened if I just wrote from the beginning instead of pursuing a career I have no passion for. We write anyway don’t we? Beautiful piece.
Thanks for reading and the lovely comment, Shaina. Perhaps some of the passion and desire comes from the act of not having pursued from the beginning? Sliding doors and all that ... we'll never know, but maybe there's some magic in that too.
You made writer's block read so exquisitely, although I know it can be painful and worrisome to experience. I've been there. It happens once in a while. Worry not, your words and worlds are there and will be written when you're ready. Stay strong and take care, my friend!
I I deeply identify with the feeling you describe about your”work” self. It’s so strange to live your life knowing you are not the animal of the skin you wear but a completely different animal that cannot survive in the world without that skin. Give yourself some grace this week. As Kate already pointed out. You just wrote something and it was good. You have that muscle.
What Kathleen said. Plus, wasting time is never a waste of time for a writer. Ideas form and coalescence and dissipate into foam, like waves on the shore. But without that process, one's writing would be shallower. That's what I think anyway.
This is poetry in prose, but are you struggling with fictional writing characters, or with the desire to say something else? Maybe a little William Butler Yeats might be in order -- his writing only what is in his mind: “Come, let us go to Innisfree . . . And I shall have some peace there . . . I hear it in the deep heart’s core.” From “The Lake Isle of Inisfree”
“I sit and watch and listen to the enthusiasm and vigour with which they speak, confused that I can, when needed, wear that hat, that the milliner of my mind could, in a mere moment, proffer it up for me to wear and allow me to move about the room as though I wore something that truly fit.”
This resonates with me so much. I think this signals some sort of transition for those that are willing to stay in this tension and believe this tension is life…
Keep taking steps with your words. They’ll come!
And perhaps this was the message that was supposed to come this week, for you to keep looking back on and this audience to absorb.
Thanks so much, Brian. It comforts me so much to know that passage has resonated with various people, and your words about a transition speak true. I feel it.
This :-
“I live, often, in the days-that-never-have, caught in the threads-of-not-yet.”
When you can create such magical sentences, no matter what you’re writing about, Nathan, then this will always be enough. The flame is always inside you. It’ll never be extinguished, but sometimes it just needs fuel to bloom again. That fuel will come from somewhere. That somewhere is a place that we wished we could easily find, but it is too gossamer and fleeting to be tied down, but yet seems to seek us out when we most need it
The Scottish band, Big Country had a great lyric :-
“Some days will stay a thousand years
Some pass like the flash of a spark
Who knows where all our days go?”
These are things we all ponder trying to make sense of where we’re going
And as Kung Fu Panda says, “Today is a gift, that is why it’s called the present” 🙂
Enjoy the gift of days and nurture the flame. It’s all we can do. And that will always be enough 👍🏼
This is a beautiful reply and set of words and thoughts, thank you Dan. Truly. I'm snipping this one and saving it in my folder for inspiration and warmth :)
You manage to write about something eloquently while lamenting not writing. I often think it helps to write why it is hard to write (fiction) and that sometimes new ideas form. It reminds me of parts of Solenoid I have been reading (nearly finished).
This part - there is a tension so personal and interior - one that only a writer can be aware of I think --
"I sit and watch and listen to the enthusiasm and vigour with which they speak, confused that I can, when needed, wear that hat, that the milliner of my mind could, in a mere moment, proffer it up for me to wear and allow me to move about the room as though I wore something that truly fit.
But it doesn’t. I worry that it doesn’t. Not anymore. The material frays. It is lopsided, obvious.
The engagement I desire is of words and worlds, the brilliance of the page, the quill and the ink."
Also, what a subtitle!
Thank you, Kate. I'm sure you knew where my brain was idling after your post the other day ;)
You are likely slightly ahead of me in Solenoid, despite how long ago I started! My reading has been a little unfocussed of late, but that book, its contents and its style has had a big impact on me.
Thanks again 🤗
I can see that ;) I hope it doesn't push you into the difficult side of that tension. I have been anticipating it myself this week.
I am about 100 pages out, but I want to take my time with the end. I need to catch up on the Wolf Crawl and will come back to that soon. We can find a way to discuss...
Yeah Wolf Crawl has been drawing my reading time, but I would really like to finish Solenoid so we can discuss soon.
This slice of life delights me, Nathan. I think there’s nothing more satisfying and interesting and beautiful than an honest human voice trying to understand itself. The sea photo is breathtaking. It’s quietly letting you know that something new is coming ashore in your work. Rest while you can. You’re going to need a deep well of energy to keep up with it all soon.
Thank you Ann. That means a lot. I've been worried this was too much of an open and confusing overshare, especially considering the slew of unsubscribes this post elicited 🙄
Fools, I say. Be gone!
I agree with Ann!! Being human and connecting through all kinds of writing moments takes mountain ranges of courage, and unsubscribing is just the click of a button.
That's a very good point. Thank you, Elnora. I think I was feeling a little sensitive after I posted this piece, and seeing the flurry of instant subscribes just stung a bit.
Of course it did. It’s also a weird moment in social media land. Lots of big creators on YouTube are “quitting” and people seem to be loosing their minds over that. Lots of attention shifting about. But no matter the reason, unsubscribes are about them not you.
🙏
Oh, that's a shame, I am sorry to hear that, I really value this post and agree with Ann and Elnora; always here for your thoughts and writing.
Thanks Mya, I appreciate you. I think I was feeling particularly vulnerable last week. So many kind words here in these comments.
Ahh the muse, fleeting, kissing strangers, while absent we long for her return. And return she will. It’s good to write, fiction or not. A writer always writes even when not writing! ✍️
Thank you my friend. You are right/write. It never stops. 🖋
The second part of the post speaks to me so much! I never think about law when I’m alone, but when I find myself in a room of fellow legal professionals, a sort of excitement I don’t recognize creeps up from a place I’m not familiar with, and I find myself matching their glee, only to return to not caring about it one bit once I leave the room. Weird.
That's encouraging to hear, thanks Andrei!
That is very well put, and I'm deeply familiar with it in my own work: a sudden deep investment (even emotional!) in the focus of my professional life. It's like there's some giant career flywheel spinning around that I can engage effortlessly and then, the second the requirement has passed I disconnect the whole thing and wonder where all that enthusiasm and focus was coming from. Yes, weird. I'm hoping my creative work isn't doing exactly the same thing, mechanically engaging and disengaging.
Thanks Adam. It's reassuring to hear that this is common with other people too.
I also have that hope that it is a different kettle of endless fish for the creative work 🤞
Happens to the best of us, Señor, and you are the best of us, so no worries. Unsubscribes? 🙄 Good grief, and good riddance... 🧡
Thanks Troy! Refining the readership, eh 😆
Oh I’m so envious that this is a rare state for you! And that from it, you managed to write something so beautiful. Before I’d even reached the picture, your words had me feeling as though I were looking out to sea, longing for something tangible, but just out of reach. I don’t there has ever, ever been a time between posts where I haven’t sat down to write and my body has gone cold and the only thought I can summon is, “Nope. Nothing to say.”
I can’t help but wonder whether us writing folk are in a very precarious and delicate relationship with something that is separate to us, but is nonetheless ours, and ‘things’ (to be annoyingly vague) have to line up in a certain way for the relationship to be a communicative one. As I write I realise I’m talking about the Muse. And realising that I need to start treating mine a little more respectfully... 💛
From those moments of "Nope" you always manage to craft something of purity, so whatever your process is you're doing it right 😉
Yes, very very true. The muse, which may as well be called "the thing", because it is an intangible, vague thing most of the time, but perhaps the Muse prefers to be known as The Muse in order to afford the proper amount of respect 😊
Yes! And maybe even offered a cup of tea once in a while 😉
Reading through the comments, I see I am not the only one who felt a connection to this little piece (which I can't believe prompted unsubscribes! It's not even long - isn't that the cardinal sin?)
Anyway, really beautiful writing as usual and I must say there's something both pleasurable and pure about sitting with someone in a moment of melancholy without needing an answer. So thank you for letting us sit with you in that moment.
Thank you Stephanie. That's a lovely comment and much appreciated. Thank you for taking a moment to sit here and read for a few moments. I'm glad you found some connection here.
And yes, I think this is possibly my shortest ever piece, spurring the most unsubscribes haha, so ... 🤷♂️
Nathan, enjoyed your writing about not writing. The writing that resonates the most with me is that which comes from a place of discomfort and truth. It is essential that our writing is honest, clinging to the truth of who we are, good and bad.
I am in the final stretch of a 24 year military career. As I sit in meetings I encounter the same experience you describe, listening to the cacophony echo around me but my interest has waned and my mind is elsewhere. I have no regrets, it is simply time to move on.
Thank you Matthew. I really appreciate your honesty and thoughts here, that means a lot. Wishing you all the best for that final stretch!
I relate to this so much. Wondering what would have happened if I just wrote from the beginning instead of pursuing a career I have no passion for. We write anyway don’t we? Beautiful piece.
Thanks for reading and the lovely comment, Shaina. Perhaps some of the passion and desire comes from the act of not having pursued from the beginning? Sliding doors and all that ... we'll never know, but maybe there's some magic in that too.
You made writer's block read so exquisitely, although I know it can be painful and worrisome to experience. I've been there. It happens once in a while. Worry not, your words and worlds are there and will be written when you're ready. Stay strong and take care, my friend!
🙏 thanks Nadia. You rock.
🤗
I I deeply identify with the feeling you describe about your”work” self. It’s so strange to live your life knowing you are not the animal of the skin you wear but a completely different animal that cannot survive in the world without that skin. Give yourself some grace this week. As Kate already pointed out. You just wrote something and it was good. You have that muscle.
Thanks Ben 🙏
Perhaps this was a necessary post for me to reaffirm that. Appreciate your words as always.
What Kathleen said. Plus, wasting time is never a waste of time for a writer. Ideas form and coalescence and dissipate into foam, like waves on the shore. But without that process, one's writing would be shallower. That's what I think anyway.
Lovely words, Terry, thank you. I appreciate that.
This is poetry in prose, but are you struggling with fictional writing characters, or with the desire to say something else? Maybe a little William Butler Yeats might be in order -- his writing only what is in his mind: “Come, let us go to Innisfree . . . And I shall have some peace there . . . I hear it in the deep heart’s core.” From “The Lake Isle of Inisfree”
Both, hehe, though I worry less about the former. That will resolve itself in time. The other ... we will see.
Thanks for the quote. I like that a lot.
I think my mind when it comes to the current WIP is more like mudlarking along the Thames. May something stumble into your pristine beach!
Thank you, Leanne.
May the waters of your Thames clear.
Thank you! I’m working on it. (*eyes pressure washer*)
“I sit and watch and listen to the enthusiasm and vigour with which they speak, confused that I can, when needed, wear that hat, that the milliner of my mind could, in a mere moment, proffer it up for me to wear and allow me to move about the room as though I wore something that truly fit.”
This resonates with me so much. I think this signals some sort of transition for those that are willing to stay in this tension and believe this tension is life…
Keep taking steps with your words. They’ll come!
And perhaps this was the message that was supposed to come this week, for you to keep looking back on and this audience to absorb.
Thanks so much, Brian. It comforts me so much to know that passage has resonated with various people, and your words about a transition speak true. I feel it.