I love the way you experiment out in the open and share insights into what you're going after, even when you're not sure what that is just yet. All this practice in first person has given you some considerable mastery in really finding authentic voices for your characters. After The Memory of My Shadow, I was done with being inside one person's head for so long and ready to move up and to the right a bit. But that's as far as I'll go. I don't think I could ever write from omniscient third-person again as I did years ago. If feels too strange to be so far removed from the blood pumping through my characters.
I haven’t yet read The Memory of My Shadow. I’ve got it shelved as my summer read once semester is done with (and once I’ve finished the tome of Anathem that I’m currently reading), but I can’t wait. Love your description of shifting to close 3rd person. That’s excellent. :)
"...you’re a fool and incapable of sensible words and the words fail and she turns to you but by then it’s too late, your face could probably power a small city." Power a small city! Yes. Generating kilowatts. You are representing these kids beautifully in their inner dialogs. Hard to do.
So, Nathan, how come you were able to describe, in one short essay, the entire history of my teen years? The girls' photon beams: such an apt description. Letting a beautiful girl drift away. I was going to write my own essay about my adjacent, not quite the same, experience. Perhaps I will one of these days. Anyway, great topic, great writing, as always. Well done, Sire.
Gosh I love this change of perspective in the story. Marvellous! And this: "I bet the cells think its useful. I bet they think it's some kind of evolutionary advantage or meaningful response, endowed only upon the worthy and sought to be enriched into the populace through procreation. Let me tell you something, Darwin: it isn't. It’s the opposite of that. It's an affliction." This is just brilliant. I look forward to reading the continuation of this. :)
I feel with you, Jeremy, having sensitive skin is a curse. Let's hope you grow out of it (probably too late for me).
As for point of view, I appreciate the author informing us directly but I always find it impressive & the most exciting when you know from the first sentence or the first paragraph of a chapter who is narrating without being told. The magic of voice!
From the bottom of the page; ‘hello? I’m down here with the rest of “The Curious”. I think. Or maybe, am I all alone?
Only you Nathan, can write an entire dissertation on the art and science of Blushing; What is it like to be a ‘Beamer’. I’ve had a few friends, still have one that is a Beamer. I’m going to send this to her, though I already know what she’ll say, spot on , I hate my show and tell cheeks, she always says. Are you or were you? just asking, as one of The Curious .
“…she turns to you but by then it’s too late, your face could probably power a small city.”
“I’m running with it, letting it take me off its original course.”
Oh, please do. We all expect you to, I’m always ready to jog behind you, lead on.
I’m liking the flip flop, not everyone can pull it off, but it’s working!
It's a reflex! And not of the Duran Duran sort. Blushing, are we? Well, Jeremy is in good company; the most famous people are known to blush for most trivial matters... I'm sure! The title/subtitle inversion is very subtle. I like it. And speaking of different POVs, yes, that's what I love. Telling a scene from different points of view. Excellent, Nate.
This is so fast paced I had to read it twice and it wasn't until I read your footnote, even with the hint at being paid half of nothing at the aquarium or the connection of skin pigmentation, cuttle fish or human, that I realised the link to your last post - I am so gullible! You write with such a deeply knowledgeable accuracy of blushing Nathan, I know, I was that teenager!
I can't wait for the next chapter and Im so glad you've extended the story with this background post.🙏🏼
Thanks so much Susie. I’m always wary as to whether I should signpost a post as fiction, auto-fiction, factual etc, or whether I just let it sit or have the footnote to offer some explanation etc. I would hate for anyone to feel they’ve been duped upon reaching a moment of realisation as to the broader context.
I was also unsure of whether to even have Jeremy’s point of view, but I wanted to explore it.
And don’t worry, I write this with inspiration from various of my own experiences. 🥴
For me, I love that I don’t know Nathan, I love the element of surprise added to finding the truth later rather than earlier… IMHO you don’t need to advertise exactly what you’re writing unless there is a specific storyline that necessitates it.
So accurate, on point: "...it's too late you're going red you’re beaming you've got nowhere to turn or hide." Been there, done that, still recovering lol. Wonderful continuation, Nathan! I love it when writers explore from different perspectives to paint the full picture. I recently watched Pulp Fiction for the first time and it was well done there too.
I look forward to the continuation of your ever incredible work! Yes, he’s truly masterful. I need to catch up on a lot of his work and takes notes - hah.
I love that this voice sounds so unique - both YOU and something totally different (compared to what you've published here at least). BEAMING. I can feel the energy running through this, Nathan. I can feel the urgency.
Love the continuation to this story. Run with it, mate! These characters are some of the most complex you’ve ever created, and it looks like the words are really flowing for you.
This experiment of flipping points of view raises this question for me, anyway, Nathan: Do you think that technique works well in a novel or short story. _Cold Mountain_ by Charles Frazier succeeded with it. However, when I read the novel that won The National Book Award it was the same year that Puttermesser Papers by Cynthia Ozick was nominated. In my view hers was the much better novel. I found the switching of points of view without an omniscient narrator a bit too risky--and not as strong as Henry James's use of at least a central intelligence as in _The Golden Bowl_. Your thoughts?
Thanks, Mary. Sounds like you’re far more qualified to have an opinion on this than I am. :) Sadly, I haven’t read any of those, though I’m very interested with how Henry James handles it in The Golden Bowl.
For me, it works well so long as it’s clear when it’s happening and is confined to a close-third person or first-person point of view. In Martin’s ASOIAF, each chapter has the title as the protagonist for that chapter, so you know exactly whose point of view you are within. There’s no changing of perspectives within a chapter. On the page, you only ever know what that character knows. On the other hand, I reread Dune last year and largely hated it because Herbert’s constant switching of point of view _within_ a chapter was massively jarring.
If I can ask, do you think it doesn’t work here? I know these are only two chapters so far, and something I’m just experimenting with, but do you think it’d be better to tell it solely from Yen’s perspective?
I do think, Nathan, that you can put what you've written into Yen's point of view by making it his imagined or both imagined and overheard. If you want to use a more omniscient approach and switch points of view, Frazier is worth looking reading. If you want to look more closely at how Henry James used what he called a "central intelligence", he also uses this narrative technique in _Portrait of a Lady_ and he talks about the technique in his _Prefaces_ that he wrote after the novels were completed and published. xx Mary
I enjoyed the flow of this, coming all in a rush, confessional in tone. Wonderful images and phrases like “your face could probably power a small city.” My thing isn’t blushing, it’s weeping at inopportune times. I imagine the embarrassment is similar. Always up for a POV discussion. ~ one of The Curious
Brilliantly done, Nathan. Again, you have perfectly captured the teenage angst but this time from the boys point of view. I, like I’m sure a lot of teenage boys, suffered from this very issue. The interesting thing is mine has kind of caught up with me in later life as I suffer from type 1 Rosacea which is red skin on my face which just appears out of nowhere at times and even adults can be just as insensitive as kids with their “do you know you’ve just gone bright red?” or “Are you feeling alright?” so I can still relate to Jeremy 😁
Looking forward to you bringing these two characters together to see where they go 👍🏼
I love the way you experiment out in the open and share insights into what you're going after, even when you're not sure what that is just yet. All this practice in first person has given you some considerable mastery in really finding authentic voices for your characters. After The Memory of My Shadow, I was done with being inside one person's head for so long and ready to move up and to the right a bit. But that's as far as I'll go. I don't think I could ever write from omniscient third-person again as I did years ago. If feels too strange to be so far removed from the blood pumping through my characters.
Thanks, Ben. Appreciate it!
I haven’t yet read The Memory of My Shadow. I’ve got it shelved as my summer read once semester is done with (and once I’ve finished the tome of Anathem that I’m currently reading), but I can’t wait. Love your description of shifting to close 3rd person. That’s excellent. :)
"...you’re a fool and incapable of sensible words and the words fail and she turns to you but by then it’s too late, your face could probably power a small city." Power a small city! Yes. Generating kilowatts. You are representing these kids beautifully in their inner dialogs. Hard to do.
Thanks Sharron, that’s some lovely encouragement.
So, Nathan, how come you were able to describe, in one short essay, the entire history of my teen years? The girls' photon beams: such an apt description. Letting a beautiful girl drift away. I was going to write my own essay about my adjacent, not quite the same, experience. Perhaps I will one of these days. Anyway, great topic, great writing, as always. Well done, Sire.
Hehe, thanks Terry!
By all means do.
This here is fiction, though of course it draws upon many inner truths. ;)
Oh dear, chronic blushing *guilty* Yes, I KNOW.
Haha. Not alone. ;)
Gosh I love this change of perspective in the story. Marvellous! And this: "I bet the cells think its useful. I bet they think it's some kind of evolutionary advantage or meaningful response, endowed only upon the worthy and sought to be enriched into the populace through procreation. Let me tell you something, Darwin: it isn't. It’s the opposite of that. It's an affliction." This is just brilliant. I look forward to reading the continuation of this. :)
Hehe, thanks so much Silvio.
I don't feel like this one landed quite so well, so it makes me happy to know you've enjoyed this so much. 🙏
I feel with you, Jeremy, having sensitive skin is a curse. Let's hope you grow out of it (probably too late for me).
As for point of view, I appreciate the author informing us directly but I always find it impressive & the most exciting when you know from the first sentence or the first paragraph of a chapter who is narrating without being told. The magic of voice!
Thanks, Vanessa. And yes, that's so true. If it can be totally apparent just from the voice, then the author has achieved their goal.
From the bottom of the page; ‘hello? I’m down here with the rest of “The Curious”. I think. Or maybe, am I all alone?
Only you Nathan, can write an entire dissertation on the art and science of Blushing; What is it like to be a ‘Beamer’. I’ve had a few friends, still have one that is a Beamer. I’m going to send this to her, though I already know what she’ll say, spot on , I hate my show and tell cheeks, she always says. Are you or were you? just asking, as one of The Curious .
“…she turns to you but by then it’s too late, your face could probably power a small city.”
“I’m running with it, letting it take me off its original course.”
Oh, please do. We all expect you to, I’m always ready to jog behind you, lead on.
I’m liking the flip flop, not everyone can pull it off, but it’s working!
Thank you, Lor. 🙏
I don't think you're alone down at the bottom of the page, no. ;)
Yes, forever beamer here. Lifetime membership, haha.
It's a reflex! And not of the Duran Duran sort. Blushing, are we? Well, Jeremy is in good company; the most famous people are known to blush for most trivial matters... I'm sure! The title/subtitle inversion is very subtle. I like it. And speaking of different POVs, yes, that's what I love. Telling a scene from different points of view. Excellent, Nate.
Haha, good link to Duran Duran!
Well, you inspired me a bit with your piece of switching POV, too.
Good catch on the title-subtitle inversion. (I was also unsure whether to title something the same twice and whether that’d be weird…?)
Not weird, rather clever. Everything is connected!
This is so fast paced I had to read it twice and it wasn't until I read your footnote, even with the hint at being paid half of nothing at the aquarium or the connection of skin pigmentation, cuttle fish or human, that I realised the link to your last post - I am so gullible! You write with such a deeply knowledgeable accuracy of blushing Nathan, I know, I was that teenager!
I can't wait for the next chapter and Im so glad you've extended the story with this background post.🙏🏼
Thanks so much Susie. I’m always wary as to whether I should signpost a post as fiction, auto-fiction, factual etc, or whether I just let it sit or have the footnote to offer some explanation etc. I would hate for anyone to feel they’ve been duped upon reaching a moment of realisation as to the broader context.
I was also unsure of whether to even have Jeremy’s point of view, but I wanted to explore it.
And don’t worry, I write this with inspiration from various of my own experiences. 🥴
For me, I love that I don’t know Nathan, I love the element of surprise added to finding the truth later rather than earlier… IMHO you don’t need to advertise exactly what you’re writing unless there is a specific storyline that necessitates it.
Appreciate it, Susie. Thanks.
So accurate, on point: "...it's too late you're going red you’re beaming you've got nowhere to turn or hide." Been there, done that, still recovering lol. Wonderful continuation, Nathan! I love it when writers explore from different perspectives to paint the full picture. I recently watched Pulp Fiction for the first time and it was well done there too.
Thanks, Nadia!
What a movie! Yes, the different and overlapping points of view in that is Tarantino at his best.
I look forward to the continuation of your ever incredible work! Yes, he’s truly masterful. I need to catch up on a lot of his work and takes notes - hah.
I love that this voice sounds so unique - both YOU and something totally different (compared to what you've published here at least). BEAMING. I can feel the energy running through this, Nathan. I can feel the urgency.
Hehe, yay, that's so great. Thanks Kate!!
You know how you get rid of this affliction? Immersion therapy. It's ok, I got you babe, I know exactly what to do! 😂
Hahahaha. 😉
Thank you my darling. Always good to know you've got my back.
Love the continuation to this story. Run with it, mate! These characters are some of the most complex you’ve ever created, and it looks like the words are really flowing for you.
Thanks, Andrei. Really appreciate it.
This experiment of flipping points of view raises this question for me, anyway, Nathan: Do you think that technique works well in a novel or short story. _Cold Mountain_ by Charles Frazier succeeded with it. However, when I read the novel that won The National Book Award it was the same year that Puttermesser Papers by Cynthia Ozick was nominated. In my view hers was the much better novel. I found the switching of points of view without an omniscient narrator a bit too risky--and not as strong as Henry James's use of at least a central intelligence as in _The Golden Bowl_. Your thoughts?
Thanks, Mary. Sounds like you’re far more qualified to have an opinion on this than I am. :) Sadly, I haven’t read any of those, though I’m very interested with how Henry James handles it in The Golden Bowl.
For me, it works well so long as it’s clear when it’s happening and is confined to a close-third person or first-person point of view. In Martin’s ASOIAF, each chapter has the title as the protagonist for that chapter, so you know exactly whose point of view you are within. There’s no changing of perspectives within a chapter. On the page, you only ever know what that character knows. On the other hand, I reread Dune last year and largely hated it because Herbert’s constant switching of point of view _within_ a chapter was massively jarring.
If I can ask, do you think it doesn’t work here? I know these are only two chapters so far, and something I’m just experimenting with, but do you think it’d be better to tell it solely from Yen’s perspective?
I do think, Nathan, that you can put what you've written into Yen's point of view by making it his imagined or both imagined and overheard. If you want to use a more omniscient approach and switch points of view, Frazier is worth looking reading. If you want to look more closely at how Henry James used what he called a "central intelligence", he also uses this narrative technique in _Portrait of a Lady_ and he talks about the technique in his _Prefaces_ that he wrote after the novels were completed and published. xx Mary
Thanks Mary, I really appreciate these thoughts. I will certainly look into those books you mention.
Write me any time.
🙏
I enjoyed the flow of this, coming all in a rush, confessional in tone. Wonderful images and phrases like “your face could probably power a small city.” My thing isn’t blushing, it’s weeping at inopportune times. I imagine the embarrassment is similar. Always up for a POV discussion. ~ one of The Curious
Thanks, Julie! Thank you for being one of The Curious. ;)
Well, I welcome you into mine and Jeremy’s company, be it blushing or weeping. :)
Brilliantly done, Nathan. Again, you have perfectly captured the teenage angst but this time from the boys point of view. I, like I’m sure a lot of teenage boys, suffered from this very issue. The interesting thing is mine has kind of caught up with me in later life as I suffer from type 1 Rosacea which is red skin on my face which just appears out of nowhere at times and even adults can be just as insensitive as kids with their “do you know you’ve just gone bright red?” or “Are you feeling alright?” so I can still relate to Jeremy 😁
Looking forward to you bringing these two characters together to see where they go 👍🏼
Thanks so much, Dan!
Urgh, stupid adults. Very insensitive and also very unaware of them!