Thanks for taking the time to read! Glad you enjoyed, especially the line :)
Appreciate the feedback. Any specific ones? I'm always unsure with those "had"s due to the framing of this. Past perfect, is that the correct term when using those?
Had I not missed this reply, I would have replied earlier! "Had" can be a cheap way to sneak in exposition, so every "had" that is linked to exposition gets the axe when I find them, they slip through ever so often. Some "hads" had to be had, for certain.
It must have had a will of its own and fallen off the radar! Hiding in the unmeasurable clouds. April 27th, just about tea time... nope can't remember. Again, apologies! 🙃
Came back for the beginning. Another mysterious start to a tale with foreshadowed darkness to come, rendered in gorgeous prose! I loved these lines that follow, because when I read them I thought, oh yes - writing!
“It’s like I still have to piece it all together, map it out, work out which entries go where, how the timeline fits and if there even is a timeline. Whether the author had any underlying intention or if it was just a collection of thoughts and happenings, perhaps a tracing of an arc of a meaning.”
Also, sorry I haven't made it through my inbox to your latest posts yet. They are sitting there waiting for me and I'm very much looking forward to reading them.
Gosh, what a delight to see that you're reading this right now Kimberly! I'm at work right now, but it brings a smile to my face knowing you're reading through Renn's tale.
Okay, you got me. The writing is beautiful, and lyrical. I love the framing narrative and how he explains that he has to translate it --oh, and it's ever so slow. I'll enjoy reading this.
I love the premise of this, and the writing. I find that your writing washes over me, like a watercolour. Hard to explain, but it has a nice feeling quite separate from the meaning.
I love the characters! They are believable, well explained, the chemistry works. Loved the finger banner, loved the closing line and also the dancing shadows lit by a flame. Looking forward to read the next parts 🤩
I was lucky enough to glimpse an earlier version of this transcription, quite some time ago. Reading these first entries again now, I am struck by a strong sense of familiarity with Renn and Brae, almost like encountering old friends, which is a testament to just how well realised they are.
I have been delighted anew with some of the imagery too, particularly the hedge and the stream to come in the next entry. Here, my favourite sentences are about those creases, those wrinkles. I enjoyed these sentences (or their antecedents) back then, though I am not sure that I had ever truly noticed what they described before. I have seen those creases since and the evocation here is just right.
Bravo, sir. I am looking forward to reading each and every future entry and discovering where the journey goes.
I love the poetry in "Brae's meteorite". Also, how you described Brae's eyes, with creases. I'm often fascinated with how people's eyes look, especially their creases. Reading that in a beautiful work of art is so cool.
I love any writing which invites me to re read sentences, not for understanding but for the beauty, clarity, rightness of their flow and meaning!
Like savouring an exception glass of wine!
🥰
If you are saying that that was how you felt about some of this piece, then wow. Thank you.
Yes! Absolutely!
I enjoyed that!
“A flame at night, waste no light, drown the ghost, appease the blight.” was my favourite line.
I did notice a couple of "had" I would have skipped.
Thanks for taking the time to read! Glad you enjoyed, especially the line :)
Appreciate the feedback. Any specific ones? I'm always unsure with those "had"s due to the framing of this. Past perfect, is that the correct term when using those?
Had I not missed this reply, I would have replied earlier! "Had" can be a cheap way to sneak in exposition, so every "had" that is linked to exposition gets the axe when I find them, they slip through ever so often. Some "hads" had to be had, for certain.
Heh, good points!
How *had* you missed this reply for April?!
It must have had a will of its own and fallen off the radar! Hiding in the unmeasurable clouds. April 27th, just about tea time... nope can't remember. Again, apologies! 🙃
You don't need to apologise!!
I love how the intertextuality is seeping into comments ;)
...go on.... 😁
Came back for the beginning. Another mysterious start to a tale with foreshadowed darkness to come, rendered in gorgeous prose! I loved these lines that follow, because when I read them I thought, oh yes - writing!
“It’s like I still have to piece it all together, map it out, work out which entries go where, how the timeline fits and if there even is a timeline. Whether the author had any underlying intention or if it was just a collection of thoughts and happenings, perhaps a tracing of an arc of a meaning.”
Aw, thanks so much for leaping back to the start. Always a tricky thing to deal with serials on a platform of ever-changing (up and down!) readership.
Very much a self-expression of how I feel my writing process is 😆
PS I think I saw there’s something new from you in my inbox… very much looking forward to that as I slowly catch up here.
Thought I would come back and start at the beginning... Looks interesting. I will keep going to see what develops.
Thanks Sharron, good plan to start at the start.
Also, sorry I haven't made it through my inbox to your latest posts yet. They are sitting there waiting for me and I'm very much looking forward to reading them.
Mysterious, inviting, beautifully crafted.... I’m in!
Gosh, what a delight to see that you're reading this right now Kimberly! I'm at work right now, but it brings a smile to my face knowing you're reading through Renn's tale.
A great start. Thanks for the link so that I’m in the right headspace before reading on.
A pleasure. Thank you for reading onwards 🤩
Okay, you got me. The writing is beautiful, and lyrical. I love the framing narrative and how he explains that he has to translate it --oh, and it's ever so slow. I'll enjoy reading this.
Thanks Ben, that means a lot. I hope you enjoy the rest (well, the rest that's currently written, that is).
I love the premise of this, and the writing. I find that your writing washes over me, like a watercolour. Hard to explain, but it has a nice feeling quite separate from the meaning.
Thanks for the kind words, Terry, that's lovely!
I love the characters! They are believable, well explained, the chemistry works. Loved the finger banner, loved the closing line and also the dancing shadows lit by a flame. Looking forward to read the next parts 🤩
did you publish this in book format? 🤔
Thanks Hans, that's some lovely feedback. Very glad to have you here.
No, this is its first outing, the entries dripping out slowly on Substack.
glad to be here!
would definitely find its spot on my bookshelf one day 👍😁
🤗
Well, I would *love* to make that a reality!!
Step by step, we'll get there 😁
I was lucky enough to glimpse an earlier version of this transcription, quite some time ago. Reading these first entries again now, I am struck by a strong sense of familiarity with Renn and Brae, almost like encountering old friends, which is a testament to just how well realised they are.
I have been delighted anew with some of the imagery too, particularly the hedge and the stream to come in the next entry. Here, my favourite sentences are about those creases, those wrinkles. I enjoyed these sentences (or their antecedents) back then, though I am not sure that I had ever truly noticed what they described before. I have seen those creases since and the evocation here is just right.
Bravo, sir. I am looking forward to reading each and every future entry and discovering where the journey goes.
Thank you kindly! Too kind.
Now the pressure is on to maintain the momentum and all the [redacted] that is going to [redacted]!
I love the poetry in "Brae's meteorite". Also, how you described Brae's eyes, with creases. I'm often fascinated with how people's eyes look, especially their creases. Reading that in a beautiful work of art is so cool.
Thanks, Nadia. The inspiration was someone I knew during my PhD. She always smiled through her eyes.
That is beautiful.
Such a great hook! And I love a frame narrative!
The beginning of this story had me captivated! I’m a sucker for leathery old books! And books that contain stories about meteorites? Sign me up!
Thanks Jillian, that's lovely to hear. Consider yourself signed up :)
I was trying to create an initial hook into the story with this opening, so I'm happy if that has happened.
Such a great hook! And I love a frame narrative!
Thanks heaps Mitchell. No obligation to comment (or even like!) at all of course, but your presence if you do drop in is much appreciated.
Best wishes, Nathan