Oh so good! All of this beautiful story. But this! Wowww!
“. . . remaining so for several hours, doing nothing but speaking of our incomplete hearts. Hers she laid bare, extracting it from her ribs and placing it in my hand, letting me see the way it beat, feeling its weight with its blood and valves, the pulse it kept even when detached from her chest. It was an autopsy, I realised—one of feelings set out for me to probe.”
Just a total delight, Nathan. I’m gonna go switch to my laptop now so I can upgrade to a paid subscription. So happy for you!
True! I also enjoyed that description of the inevitable replication of the virus. Dark and foreboding and irresistible. It feels like the conclusion to this tale could be going that way too…
Such lush, immediate language, and then ripped out from underneath me with the “gallows” reference, like a scratched record. But I kept on, thinking maybe it had another meaning across the pond. But it still haunted, like something else was going on beyond the eye of the known. And then WHAM! There it is at your stopping point. A wrinkle in time perhaps? (Don’t tell. I’ll eagerly wait for next week!)
I love this. You write a lot about mysterious girls but this one strikes me more than most, combined with the gallows hill & the noose... Looking forward to reading part 2!
"It was from her, from the girl with the surname like an old folklore song, written with a type of pencil I couldn’t then understand. She spoke of feelings, of a need to meet, of words blinding in their graphite hues."
There are types of pencil you can understand? Wild!
And yes, a bit of a recurring theme. Trauma/experience in my youth, I guess. ;)
The pencil line was a bit of a throwback/link to a prior piece a good while ago, buried more for my own amusement... (but I also liked the weirdness of the line, so I kept it.)
The way you craft sentences, fitting words together to create the illusion of reality but so much richer is truly a wonder. Damn.
“…would think of the thousands of biochemical reactions that clicked away beneath the chitinous skin of their legs, the machinations of metabolic pathways brutal and efficient and that continued without fail, my own limbs—enormous and elongated in comparison—undergoing the same miraculous deeds.”
Thanks so much, Ben. This one felt like a little ode to the days of writing The Sernox, most likely because I’d returned to reading some of Mircea Cartarescu’s work, which is hugely inspirational for me.
This is so beautiful, Nathan. Your descriptions leap off the page, drawing the reader into their multidimensional depth. Excellent prose, as always. I'm especially curious to see where this is going after this: "Within the cramped confines of her room, we sat and sprawled on her bed, remaining so for several hours, doing nothing but speaking of our incomplete hearts." Some passages remind me of Mircea’s prose, which I assume has had some influence on you, if I’m not mistaken. Always a delight to read your words, my friend.
I'm curious to see where it goes, too. 😆 (The perils and excitement of pausing halfway!)
Most definitely influenced by Mircea. Heavily so. I'm reading his Blinding in addition to Bolaño's 2666, so there's a mix of things swirling around in my mind at the moment.
Isn't it how it always goes. I have several unfinished stories published here that I should get back to, eventually. Or maybe not. In any event, it goes where it goes, when it wants to. That's my motto. :)
Blinding I should add to my list right now (as I did with Nostalgia). I too usually read more than one thing at the same time, but I remember that at some point with 2666 I decided to give it exclusivity until the end (which took a while, as you can imagine).
Yes, I think I might end up having to do that, too. I almost want to give it exclusivity now, but I’ll hold off if I can, partly because I want to savour it so much. I just read the scene with the trio of Archimboldians having beaten up a taxi driver in London! The whole dynamic with Norton and the two others (and now Pritchard!) is so brilliantly done.
I do miss dormitory pigeon holes! This has so many seeds for a good story. I'm really curious to see where you take it. Great read, Nathan. Especially liked these lines:
"with hands that were soft and untouched by hurt, fingernails clipped and clean and having never scraped the soil in search of its truth."
"replication of a billion, trillion capsids, their perfect geometry enveloped in lipids and housing the pure and pyrimidinical code that, if asked and if capable, would speak of the ways to replicate its form"
"My own heart, I found, was locked. It was a chasm, black and dire and uncertain of what it should be" - this transition to the 'warmth' and then the softness held in discovering the gallows was really great. Excited to see where this goes!
Nathan, this was such an enjoyable read. I really love hour literary expression. I am excitrd to see where this story leads, how the gallows and ants fit into it all. So wonderfully descriptive. Beautiful writing!
Thank you so much, Tarik! That's lovely to hear. I worry sometimes that things might get too florid or overly descriptive, but for this piece it felt it was necessary.
Ah, your profession has seeped into your writing . Makes perfect sense. Weaving little elements through your beautifully detailed prose. Not if, but when you become a full time writer, I hope you never lose that. I also detect a complex ‘flavor’ of Mirceau Cartarescu. Now that I’ve read a review of Solenoid, I cannot believe I’m saying this, but maybe I am just a little bit intrigued and am contemplating a dive in. Give me a couple of months to report back. Susie’s (https://substack.com/@ahillandi ) photograph is a wonderful visual companion to your story. A roiling bruised and ominous sky with a crack of blue. What’s to do with the gallows? Is she a ghost, are you? A portal into history, a tear in the universe, a trip into the corners of your mind? What I love about your writing, is that it can be all of the above and beyond. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.🫣
“What I love about your writing, is that it can be all of the above and beyond.” — I will tattoo these words to my mind for all those many moments when I doubt what I am doing.
Thank you, as always, for your kind and thought-provoking words and thoughts.
Take as much time as you need to get to Solenoid. If you do ever read, I think you'll find the inspiration for my current writing is clear. There's a lot of anatomy in Mircea's works, which I feel for me translates more into the biochemical. Perhaps it'll just be a phase. For now, I sit in the perilous yet exhilarating abyss of wondering how this piece will play and out conclude (if a conclusion is strictly possible).
Beautifully descriptive prose, Nathan, painting scenes with words. "The moon had left and the sun was yet asleep, an hour seldom witnessed by any eyes of human form. Though I could not see the ants, I knew that they were there, continuing their endless march and uncaring of the giant who stalked by their side." The way of the world... looking forward to the (supernatural?!) conclusion!
Intriguing, as usual! I picked up a tidbit lesson on good writing from how you casually dropped the phrase, “a campus that excluded you from the proximity of a city destroyed during the war…” in the middle of the action. At first, the campus could be set anywhere, but that one phrase suddenly locates it in a broader context that starts to set a particular mood.
Thanks Renee. Sometimes (often?) I don't like to spell things out, but still want to allude to them, as well as (as you say) try to set some kind of mood. I also wanted to obscure *some* of the context of where this was actually set, because some comes from truth/memory and some (a lot) from fiction.
It's a really powerful technique. In his advice on writing SFF, Orson Scott Card talks about how to world build within narrative, without long exposition. This is right in line with that.
Where could this be going? I loved the juxtaposition of students/campus and ants/anthill - how can we not wonder who is this queen and what she will do with her drone...? ;)
Thanks, Clancy. I wouldn't be against it. I feel I'm edging towards more of an ability to keep things going. I actually think it could be worked in as a larger part of The Sernox. A part that comes far before the thread of that story.
I love the twists and turns of this. The girl with a folksong name— what a lovely epithet. And the unexpected noose at the end… shivers… I can’t wait to see where this goes next.
Thank you, Melanie. Delighted to have you here and thank you for your lovely words.
(I just hope I can deliver with where it goes. Always feels a little risky when slicing something in half, or quarters, and posting when it's not all written yet...!)
Oh so good! All of this beautiful story. But this! Wowww!
“. . . remaining so for several hours, doing nothing but speaking of our incomplete hearts. Hers she laid bare, extracting it from her ribs and placing it in my hand, letting me see the way it beat, feeling its weight with its blood and valves, the pulse it kept even when detached from her chest. It was an autopsy, I realised—one of feelings set out for me to probe.”
Just a total delight, Nathan. I’m gonna go switch to my laptop now so I can upgrade to a paid subscription. So happy for you!
Ann! You amazing person. Thank you. 🙏 What a delightful message to wake up to this morning.
That was one of those passages that just happened to flow out, and when that happens then I trust in it being the correct set of words.
So good to trust your gut 💛
Agreed, this part was particularly excellent, somehow both clinical and emotional. A visceral delight!
Pure delight for romantic science nerds.
True! I also enjoyed that description of the inevitable replication of the virus. Dark and foreboding and irresistible. It feels like the conclusion to this tale could be going that way too…
I love how he never lets us get too comfortable ;-) he’s really good at surprising a reader (me anyway)—
I never see it coming.
We shall have to see...
Thank you, sir. Too kind.
Such lush, immediate language, and then ripped out from underneath me with the “gallows” reference, like a scratched record. But I kept on, thinking maybe it had another meaning across the pond. But it still haunted, like something else was going on beyond the eye of the known. And then WHAM! There it is at your stopping point. A wrinkle in time perhaps? (Don’t tell. I’ll eagerly wait for next week!)
Love this narrative of how you felt when reading, Kimberly! :D
I won't tell. (Partly because I'm still working it out myself, hehe. As ever, this is part autofiction, part fiction. Everything is blurred.)
I love this. You write a lot about mysterious girls but this one strikes me more than most, combined with the gallows hill & the noose... Looking forward to reading part 2!
"It was from her, from the girl with the surname like an old folklore song, written with a type of pencil I couldn’t then understand. She spoke of feelings, of a need to meet, of words blinding in their graphite hues."
There are types of pencil you can understand? Wild!
Thanks, Vanessa!
And yes, a bit of a recurring theme. Trauma/experience in my youth, I guess. ;)
The pencil line was a bit of a throwback/link to a prior piece a good while ago, buried more for my own amusement... (but I also liked the weirdness of the line, so I kept it.)
Your friend with the medieval song sounding name reminds me of my Spikey. Congrats on turning on paid subs.
Thanks Terry! Only taken me 2 years, haha.
The way you craft sentences, fitting words together to create the illusion of reality but so much richer is truly a wonder. Damn.
“…would think of the thousands of biochemical reactions that clicked away beneath the chitinous skin of their legs, the machinations of metabolic pathways brutal and efficient and that continued without fail, my own limbs—enormous and elongated in comparison—undergoing the same miraculous deeds.”
Thanks so much, Ben. This one felt like a little ode to the days of writing The Sernox, most likely because I’d returned to reading some of Mircea Cartarescu’s work, which is hugely inspirational for me.
That was excellent, Nathan, I'm pretty new to your writing but yes, I'm in for a treat I see :) Can't wait for part two...
Aw, thanks Jonathan. That's lovely to hear. Appreciate it.
This is so beautiful, Nathan. Your descriptions leap off the page, drawing the reader into their multidimensional depth. Excellent prose, as always. I'm especially curious to see where this is going after this: "Within the cramped confines of her room, we sat and sprawled on her bed, remaining so for several hours, doing nothing but speaking of our incomplete hearts." Some passages remind me of Mircea’s prose, which I assume has had some influence on you, if I’m not mistaken. Always a delight to read your words, my friend.
I'm curious to see where it goes, too. 😆 (The perils and excitement of pausing halfway!)
Most definitely influenced by Mircea. Heavily so. I'm reading his Blinding in addition to Bolaño's 2666, so there's a mix of things swirling around in my mind at the moment.
Thanks so much for reading.
Isn't it how it always goes. I have several unfinished stories published here that I should get back to, eventually. Or maybe not. In any event, it goes where it goes, when it wants to. That's my motto. :)
Blinding I should add to my list right now (as I did with Nostalgia). I too usually read more than one thing at the same time, but I remember that at some point with 2666 I decided to give it exclusivity until the end (which took a while, as you can imagine).
Yes, I think I might end up having to do that, too. I almost want to give it exclusivity now, but I’ll hold off if I can, partly because I want to savour it so much. I just read the scene with the trio of Archimboldians having beaten up a taxi driver in London! The whole dynamic with Norton and the two others (and now Pritchard!) is so brilliantly done.
Ah! That part is so well done. Many more of those to come! :)
I do miss dormitory pigeon holes! This has so many seeds for a good story. I'm really curious to see where you take it. Great read, Nathan. Especially liked these lines:
"with hands that were soft and untouched by hurt, fingernails clipped and clean and having never scraped the soil in search of its truth."
"replication of a billion, trillion capsids, their perfect geometry enveloped in lipids and housing the pure and pyrimidinical code that, if asked and if capable, would speak of the ways to replicate its form"
"My own heart, I found, was locked. It was a chasm, black and dire and uncertain of what it should be" - this transition to the 'warmth' and then the softness held in discovering the gallows was really great. Excited to see where this goes!
Thanks so much, Kate. Pleased you enjoyed and I'm hopeful/excited for where this will lead.
Nathan, this was such an enjoyable read. I really love hour literary expression. I am excitrd to see where this story leads, how the gallows and ants fit into it all. So wonderfully descriptive. Beautiful writing!
Thank you so much, Tarik! That's lovely to hear. I worry sometimes that things might get too florid or overly descriptive, but for this piece it felt it was necessary.
I would agree with you, Nathan. Somehow the complexity and beauty of the prose adds to the mystery.
Ah, your profession has seeped into your writing . Makes perfect sense. Weaving little elements through your beautifully detailed prose. Not if, but when you become a full time writer, I hope you never lose that. I also detect a complex ‘flavor’ of Mirceau Cartarescu. Now that I’ve read a review of Solenoid, I cannot believe I’m saying this, but maybe I am just a little bit intrigued and am contemplating a dive in. Give me a couple of months to report back. Susie’s (https://substack.com/@ahillandi ) photograph is a wonderful visual companion to your story. A roiling bruised and ominous sky with a crack of blue. What’s to do with the gallows? Is she a ghost, are you? A portal into history, a tear in the universe, a trip into the corners of your mind? What I love about your writing, is that it can be all of the above and beyond. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.🫣
“What I love about your writing, is that it can be all of the above and beyond.” — I will tattoo these words to my mind for all those many moments when I doubt what I am doing.
Thank you, as always, for your kind and thought-provoking words and thoughts.
Take as much time as you need to get to Solenoid. If you do ever read, I think you'll find the inspiration for my current writing is clear. There's a lot of anatomy in Mircea's works, which I feel for me translates more into the biochemical. Perhaps it'll just be a phase. For now, I sit in the perilous yet exhilarating abyss of wondering how this piece will play and out conclude (if a conclusion is strictly possible).
Beautifully descriptive prose, Nathan, painting scenes with words. "The moon had left and the sun was yet asleep, an hour seldom witnessed by any eyes of human form. Though I could not see the ants, I knew that they were there, continuing their endless march and uncaring of the giant who stalked by their side." The way of the world... looking forward to the (supernatural?!) conclusion!
Thanks my friend. I hope I can make some kind of conclusion from it!
Intriguing, as usual! I picked up a tidbit lesson on good writing from how you casually dropped the phrase, “a campus that excluded you from the proximity of a city destroyed during the war…” in the middle of the action. At first, the campus could be set anywhere, but that one phrase suddenly locates it in a broader context that starts to set a particular mood.
Thanks Renee. Sometimes (often?) I don't like to spell things out, but still want to allude to them, as well as (as you say) try to set some kind of mood. I also wanted to obscure *some* of the context of where this was actually set, because some comes from truth/memory and some (a lot) from fiction.
Also, there is a new Nightstorm File coming soon… 😀
Yay! I look forward to reading.
It's a really powerful technique. In his advice on writing SFF, Orson Scott Card talks about how to world build within narrative, without long exposition. This is right in line with that.
I will happily accept that I subconsciously adopted Orson’s advice. ;)
Where could this be going? I loved the juxtaposition of students/campus and ants/anthill - how can we not wonder who is this queen and what she will do with her drone...? ;)
Only time will tell where it's going. 😆
Thanks, Troy. Hopefully I can send it to an interesting conclusion.
This was an interesting one to listen to in the shower. Ann linked my favorite part of the passage below as well.
I hope you reach your dream!
Hehehe, you listened in the shower? With the AI voiceover? Nice!
Thanks, David. I hope someday it is possible.
I hope that this just keeps going and going and going eventually it’s a book.
Thanks, Clancy. I wouldn't be against it. I feel I'm edging towards more of an ability to keep things going. I actually think it could be worked in as a larger part of The Sernox. A part that comes far before the thread of that story.
yesss similar vibes and theme. your writing here is just magical…
Thanks mate. Very kind. 😊
I love the twists and turns of this. The girl with a folksong name— what a lovely epithet. And the unexpected noose at the end… shivers… I can’t wait to see where this goes next.
Thank you, Melanie. Delighted to have you here and thank you for your lovely words.
(I just hope I can deliver with where it goes. Always feels a little risky when slicing something in half, or quarters, and posting when it's not all written yet...!)