I love your description of the stream, and of its greatest desire. I hadn't thought to give a body of water agency, but you did, and that finding the ocean would be what it did with that agency makes perfect sense.
I'm going to have to go back and read the previous chapters now, because I am definitely curious about the history between Brae & Renn. And I love that meteorite pic!
The first and second entry should hopefully help establish things, but awesome that you still got something from this in isolation!
Re: the stream. Honestly, that part just kind of wrote itself from letting Renn do the writing, and it was only after that I sat and thought the same about the agency of it 😁
Oh, that's the most fulfilling kind of writing, isn't it! Those magic moments where we surprise ourselves. 🥰 I think of Elizabeth Gilbert's creative genius daemon theory in those moments, that I've tapped into something outside of myself for a moment and it is good!
Yes, so much! My wife made sure I read that book for that precise reason.
It's the best feeling. There have been moments where I have had to stop everything and just write. (Conversely, there have been many moments where the daemon has clearly fled elsewhere...)
Brae is so rough and distant. I like it, because sometimes you'll see female characters written only to bring forth and kiss up to the male lead characters, which here is clearly not the case. Brae has a tough backbone.
I wonder what she's been through?
Renn on the other hand is reserved, clearly attached, by how he interprets Brae's gestures, tries to read into them. The line I liked most here was - It was a wan, lost smile. A lost smile... can't put my finger on it, at the same time it describes the feeling very well, and the fact he was able to see that emotion in her, tells me that Renn is high in empathy.
I really hope nothing bad happens to Brae? ... right? .... RIGHT?
I am very curious about why Renn is so deferential to Brae. Does he love her? Does he fear her? She is brusque, but what are her true feeling toward him? And why are they traveling together? So far, all I perceive is that he respects her knowledge, but has had negative reactions from her in the past so he measures his words very carefully. It is a mystery.
Maybe some of this is a little clearer now you made it through. You know me, I like to keep things a little within the spaces between words, or entirely off the page for the imagination of the reader.
He's totally in love with her, despite her often brusque manner, because there have been a number of moments of *something* that glint in her eyes.
Brea the Laconic. Renn the romantic? I love how you’ve juxtaposed these two—Brea, distant but somehow still appreciating his company. Renn, drawn like a magnet to her way. This could get messy.
The reader gets to join Brae and Renn on their journey, cross a river, and get to feel the cold water. Their interactions are those of friends, yet we know Renn wants more. When Brae laughs, Renn's comment whether it hurt was at first odd but her reaction speaks volumes. Nice work here, Nathan. Good character development.
I just read all three diary entries in one go. I’m thinking hard if I read better prose on Substack so far and I can’t come up with anything. And I did read some great pieces. You’re a talented storyteller and a great writer. I’m looking forward to reading the next diary entry.
Thank you Claudia. This honestly means so so much to me. I love your writing, prose and style, your worlds, and so to hear you say those words about my own efforts ... I don't think I can adequately convey the glow and warmth and encouragement that has elicited.
Happy to return the feeling. I felt the same when I read your comment. It’s so important to get encouragement as a budding writer. That’s why I love this platform!
I love your description of the stream, and of its greatest desire. I hadn't thought to give a body of water agency, but you did, and that finding the ocean would be what it did with that agency makes perfect sense.
I'm going to have to go back and read the previous chapters now, because I am definitely curious about the history between Brae & Renn. And I love that meteorite pic!
😍
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
The first and second entry should hopefully help establish things, but awesome that you still got something from this in isolation!
Re: the stream. Honestly, that part just kind of wrote itself from letting Renn do the writing, and it was only after that I sat and thought the same about the agency of it 😁
Oh, that's the most fulfilling kind of writing, isn't it! Those magic moments where we surprise ourselves. 🥰 I think of Elizabeth Gilbert's creative genius daemon theory in those moments, that I've tapped into something outside of myself for a moment and it is good!
Yes, so much! My wife made sure I read that book for that precise reason.
It's the best feeling. There have been moments where I have had to stop everything and just write. (Conversely, there have been many moments where the daemon has clearly fled elsewhere...)
Yeah, they seem to be allergic to things going TOO well. 😆
Brae is so rough and distant. I like it, because sometimes you'll see female characters written only to bring forth and kiss up to the male lead characters, which here is clearly not the case. Brae has a tough backbone.
I wonder what she's been through?
Renn on the other hand is reserved, clearly attached, by how he interprets Brae's gestures, tries to read into them. The line I liked most here was - It was a wan, lost smile. A lost smile... can't put my finger on it, at the same time it describes the feeling very well, and the fact he was able to see that emotion in her, tells me that Renn is high in empathy.
I really hope nothing bad happens to Brae? ... right? .... RIGHT?
Love the feedback and thoughts, Hans.
I hope that some of these questions begin to be answered as you read the next few entries... ...
I am very curious about why Renn is so deferential to Brae. Does he love her? Does he fear her? She is brusque, but what are her true feeling toward him? And why are they traveling together? So far, all I perceive is that he respects her knowledge, but has had negative reactions from her in the past so he measures his words very carefully. It is a mystery.
Maybe some of this is a little clearer now you made it through. You know me, I like to keep things a little within the spaces between words, or entirely off the page for the imagination of the reader.
He's totally in love with her, despite her often brusque manner, because there have been a number of moments of *something* that glint in her eyes.
Brea the Laconic. Renn the romantic? I love how you’ve juxtaposed these two—Brea, distant but somehow still appreciating his company. Renn, drawn like a magnet to her way. This could get messy.
It could well ... but I shall let you read on ;)
"To find an ocean--surely that is the greatest desire of any stream."
Beautiful prose, Nathan.
Thank you, my friend. They are not my words, though. It's all Renn 😉
The reader gets to join Brae and Renn on their journey, cross a river, and get to feel the cold water. Their interactions are those of friends, yet we know Renn wants more. When Brae laughs, Renn's comment whether it hurt was at first odd but her reaction speaks volumes. Nice work here, Nathan. Good character development.
🙏
Appreciate all your feedback, my friend.
Striking continuation! The contrast between the two protagonists is well articulated.
🙏
I really want the paper back version now mate. 😁
Signed copy if (when?) that happens 😄
Yes please!! 😲😄
Got to be a matter of when.
I just read all three diary entries in one go. I’m thinking hard if I read better prose on Substack so far and I can’t come up with anything. And I did read some great pieces. You’re a talented storyteller and a great writer. I’m looking forward to reading the next diary entry.
Thank you Claudia. This honestly means so so much to me. I love your writing, prose and style, your worlds, and so to hear you say those words about my own efforts ... I don't think I can adequately convey the glow and warmth and encouragement that has elicited.
Happy to return the feeling. I felt the same when I read your comment. It’s so important to get encouragement as a budding writer. That’s why I love this platform!