“You are within the system now, I think to myself, knowing that I have passed through the necessary threshold of security. Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric.”
As a frequent flyer, I recognise this feeling Nathan. However, I also strongly dislike sharing the row of seats with anyone. I guess I just need my own private jet 😁
This was a great story. It’s the type of science fiction that I love and it reminded in a lot of ways of a writer called Michael Marshall Smith. He wrote two of my favourite science fiction books called Spares and Only Forward. The latter is very much like this with everything happening on the periphery but yet also directly affecting the main character. He’s here on Substack and still seems to be writing away so that cool
Anyway, brilliantly done 👍🏼
Oh, and I also see this as a Twlight Zone episode!
Thanks so much, Dan! I know this one was a bit on the longer side, so I really appreciate anyone who makes it through to the end and takes the time to drop in a comment.
Haha. Private jet all the way! Oh the dream. Actually, I'd settle for First Class. That'd do me nicely. (OK, I'd settle for Business Class, too.)
I hadn't heard of Michael Marshall Smith, so thanks for the rec. Perfect!
Always with the mysterious women in your tales, Nathan! This was a slippery one but I tend to agree with Beth’s read. I’ve already had to do one trip for business and there will be more to come. I know every time I travel now I will think of the story.
I love how much we learn of this character simply through his observations—not just of the repetition and what perhaps others couldn’t see, but also of the way people move their bodies and the way likelihoods can be calculated. What I meant to say is great story! Again. ;)
One of my goals is definitely to try to convey quirks and character through observations from a protagonist's point of view, so I'm really pleased you mention this. 🙏
My interpretation? Nobody else saw the lady on the plane, which is why the air hostess ‘mostly ignored her’ and the man in the opposite seat looked at him so oddly after he stood up and then sat back down.
And just for a giggle - I woke this morning from a dream where I was at the airport and trying very hard to make sure I got to my plane on time, but I just couldn’t find my luggage (or something like that). (I am someone who enjoys airports and will always get there early to enjoy the ambience.)
Great descriptions here, like clothes moulding to her body. Unusual terms like duduk create the sense of otherworldliness, the sense therean enigma which cries out to be unlocked. There's a feeling of unfulfillment, a need to know more about this woman and what this strange encounter means. The ending is like a literary moebius strip. Well carried off, Sir.
Read this Sunday while I was selecting the top in fiction line up and I didn’t have a chance to leave a note. I read 40 pieces of fiction that day 🤣. Yours stood out, as always 💚.
So mysterious, so ominous. I really liked this line: "Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric." As well as the way you built the repetition in like a little tick in the protagonist's mind. Lovely work, Nathan!
Thanks so much, Kate. There were a few lines in here where I was trying to imagine Murakami sitting there writing a story, and this (and the chess player nodding) is one of those. A small attempt, perhaps, but it was one where I was concentrating on him writing at his desk and thinking on how he would express it. 😆
// The next day, I received a text message. We cannot advance any further, it said. Cannot advance any further? What a strange way to phrase it. //
When two worlds collide! 😅
Love the humour in this piece. And, hello, it has just the right amount of mystery, i.e. I'm with Dan; this would make an excellent Twilight Zone episode.
Brilliant as usual. Hmm, thinking out loud, you can listen in if you’d like.A diary, excuse me, a green diary ,like the stone of her necklace , with writing inside.Then past tense, already happened. Is she an apparition that lives within the diary? May I suggest; her clothes were molded to her body. Actually , I accidentally read it wrong, then smirked, and re-read it correctly. Though if she is indeed a ghost, maybe molded works ? What about the plane in the sky on repeat . And what does that make him. I think this paragraph is the keeper of the ember. The flame that holds the answers to the story.
“…whether it was even hers to give … but it is within this diary that I write these words, as a plane slides repeatedly through the sky.”
I’m wondering if this is a stand alone ? I love sleuthing through your stories.Yes to Daniel O’Connell. Let me guess, you never listened to my previous recommendation to watch the Twilight Zone, and Rod Serling, the writer and producer. Off you go now, check it out one of these days.
P.S. Sorry, still a bit giddy, ‘high’ on yesterday’s embarrassing compliments, and too much cake today.
Nothing to be sorry for! 😁 So glad you had a good 'high' and lots of cake!
You know, I stumbled over mold and then mould, questioning my own English spelling, and didn't realise until reading your comment as to the perhaps double meaning there.
Keeper of the ember. That's a great saying. Although, I say nothing, I just bask in the warm glow of your thoughts. :)
Stand alone ... yes and no. There's at least one other story where the protagonist may be the same person.
Now... I'll have you know I *did* go watch some Twilight Zone clips 😉 but struggled to find any actual full episodes of it over here that can be streamed. I watched some of the new ones with Jordan Peele, but although they had a cool vibe they seemed to lack a certain something. Anyway, I caught various segments on YouTube and read up on Rod Serling. But yes, I still need to track down and submerge myself fully in the original.
Short story? More like a sublime cinematic experience! I felt so much wonder, mystery, elation, and a little bit of fear (me and airplanes do not mix! Lol) reading this wonderful narrative. Everything repeats are words that will haunt me awhile.
I'm wondering if this was inspired by a real experience? (Don't answer if you don't want to.) I once was at a dinner party and noticed out a window an old man standing in front of the house across the street who was frozen like a statue. He looked vaguely monkish, robes and such, and I assumed that he was meditating perhaps, though what a strange place to do it. He literally didn't move for almost two hours, it was kinda crazy - this reminds me of that.
What a curious story, Nathan. Delightful from start to finish. "You are within the system now, I think to myself, knowing that I have passed through the necessary threshold of security." There is something going on in this sentence that is meaningful to me. I haven't decided what yet. This, too, was such a fresh, new simile: "As she spoke, she pressed her nose into mine, like I was an envelope to be stamped." Thank you for not telling us who/what she was. I love this whole thing.
Another story that could be be followed with whole other chapters! Damn Nathan, you're mighty good at these mysterious endings that leave me hoping for more. I loved this "As she spoke, she pressed her nose into mine, like I was an envelope to be stamped." as if we stamp either other in the act of love with our very own print... so good!
I must admit, writing this story felt like a calming wind this week and I'm happy to see it has landed. It was an escape. A mysterious one, to be sure. But a lovely escape.
I can feel the pull of it wanting to be more, but I'm also wary that whenever I try to extend something I get bogged down worrying about where it can lead to.
Great story! I always prefer to be at airports early to relax and roam personally. My attention for reading has been terrible lately but this has kept it and made me wonder if I should dive back into literature again
“You are within the system now, I think to myself, knowing that I have passed through the necessary threshold of security. Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric.”
As a frequent flyer, I recognise this feeling Nathan. However, I also strongly dislike sharing the row of seats with anyone. I guess I just need my own private jet 😁
This was a great story. It’s the type of science fiction that I love and it reminded in a lot of ways of a writer called Michael Marshall Smith. He wrote two of my favourite science fiction books called Spares and Only Forward. The latter is very much like this with everything happening on the periphery but yet also directly affecting the main character. He’s here on Substack and still seems to be writing away so that cool
Anyway, brilliantly done 👍🏼
Oh, and I also see this as a Twlight Zone episode!
Thanks so much, Dan! I know this one was a bit on the longer side, so I really appreciate anyone who makes it through to the end and takes the time to drop in a comment.
Haha. Private jet all the way! Oh the dream. Actually, I'd settle for First Class. That'd do me nicely. (OK, I'd settle for Business Class, too.)
I hadn't heard of Michael Marshall Smith, so thanks for the rec. Perfect!
Always with the mysterious women in your tales, Nathan! This was a slippery one but I tend to agree with Beth’s read. I’ve already had to do one trip for business and there will be more to come. I know every time I travel now I will think of the story.
Hehe, thanks Ben. Slippery. I like it.
And yeah… those mysterious women. For some reason, it’s hard to keep them out of the stories. ;)
I love how much we learn of this character simply through his observations—not just of the repetition and what perhaps others couldn’t see, but also of the way people move their bodies and the way likelihoods can be calculated. What I meant to say is great story! Again. ;)
Thank you, Holly.
One of my goals is definitely to try to convey quirks and character through observations from a protagonist's point of view, so I'm really pleased you mention this. 🙏
My interpretation? Nobody else saw the lady on the plane, which is why the air hostess ‘mostly ignored her’ and the man in the opposite seat looked at him so oddly after he stood up and then sat back down.
And just for a giggle - I woke this morning from a dream where I was at the airport and trying very hard to make sure I got to my plane on time, but I just couldn’t find my luggage (or something like that). (I am someone who enjoys airports and will always get there early to enjoy the ambience.)
Thanks for another intriguing post.
Very astute observations in your read, Beth. :)
Spot on. Or, at least, that's how I interpreted it, too.
How funny. Classic luggage-lost dream scenario. I think I've had countless of those myself.
Thanks for being here.
Great descriptions here, like clothes moulding to her body. Unusual terms like duduk create the sense of otherworldliness, the sense therean enigma which cries out to be unlocked. There's a feeling of unfulfillment, a need to know more about this woman and what this strange encounter means. The ending is like a literary moebius strip. Well carried off, Sir.
Thanks so much, Terry.
"a literary moebius strip"... I couldn't ask for anything better in terms of description. This makes me smile. Thank you.
😃
Read this Sunday while I was selecting the top in fiction line up and I didn’t have a chance to leave a note. I read 40 pieces of fiction that day 🤣. Yours stood out, as always 💚.
Wow, that’s a lot of reading!
And wow, thank you. 🙏
You’re welcome.
So mysterious, so ominous. I really liked this line: "Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric." As well as the way you built the repetition in like a little tick in the protagonist's mind. Lovely work, Nathan!
Thanks so much, Kate. There were a few lines in here where I was trying to imagine Murakami sitting there writing a story, and this (and the chess player nodding) is one of those. A small attempt, perhaps, but it was one where I was concentrating on him writing at his desk and thinking on how he would express it. 😆
// The next day, I received a text message. We cannot advance any further, it said. Cannot advance any further? What a strange way to phrase it. //
When two worlds collide! 😅
Love the humour in this piece. And, hello, it has just the right amount of mystery, i.e. I'm with Dan; this would make an excellent Twilight Zone episode.
Thanks mate. Yes, tried to tread that line between slightly strange humour and slightly strange mystery. Glad it worked for you.
Brilliant as usual. Hmm, thinking out loud, you can listen in if you’d like.A diary, excuse me, a green diary ,like the stone of her necklace , with writing inside.Then past tense, already happened. Is she an apparition that lives within the diary? May I suggest; her clothes were molded to her body. Actually , I accidentally read it wrong, then smirked, and re-read it correctly. Though if she is indeed a ghost, maybe molded works ? What about the plane in the sky on repeat . And what does that make him. I think this paragraph is the keeper of the ember. The flame that holds the answers to the story.
“…whether it was even hers to give … but it is within this diary that I write these words, as a plane slides repeatedly through the sky.”
I’m wondering if this is a stand alone ? I love sleuthing through your stories.Yes to Daniel O’Connell. Let me guess, you never listened to my previous recommendation to watch the Twilight Zone, and Rod Serling, the writer and producer. Off you go now, check it out one of these days.
P.S. Sorry, still a bit giddy, ‘high’ on yesterday’s embarrassing compliments, and too much cake today.
Nothing to be sorry for! 😁 So glad you had a good 'high' and lots of cake!
You know, I stumbled over mold and then mould, questioning my own English spelling, and didn't realise until reading your comment as to the perhaps double meaning there.
Keeper of the ember. That's a great saying. Although, I say nothing, I just bask in the warm glow of your thoughts. :)
Stand alone ... yes and no. There's at least one other story where the protagonist may be the same person.
Now... I'll have you know I *did* go watch some Twilight Zone clips 😉 but struggled to find any actual full episodes of it over here that can be streamed. I watched some of the new ones with Jordan Peele, but although they had a cool vibe they seemed to lack a certain something. Anyway, I caught various segments on YouTube and read up on Rod Serling. But yes, I still need to track down and submerge myself fully in the original.
Short story? More like a sublime cinematic experience! I felt so much wonder, mystery, elation, and a little bit of fear (me and airplanes do not mix! Lol) reading this wonderful narrative. Everything repeats are words that will haunt me awhile.
Thanks so much, Nadia.
I will happily accept sublime, hehe. You are too kind.
X
I'm wondering if this was inspired by a real experience? (Don't answer if you don't want to.) I once was at a dinner party and noticed out a window an old man standing in front of the house across the street who was frozen like a statue. He looked vaguely monkish, robes and such, and I assumed that he was meditating perhaps, though what a strange place to do it. He literally didn't move for almost two hours, it was kinda crazy - this reminds me of that.
How strange, Troy. Perhaps he was meditating. Or starting at the sky waiting for planes. ;)
Only loosely inspired on the level of certain feelings about travel. The rest is all fiction.
(Mostly.)
😆😉
Meditating on planes, undoubtedly. :D
What a curious story, Nathan. Delightful from start to finish. "You are within the system now, I think to myself, knowing that I have passed through the necessary threshold of security." There is something going on in this sentence that is meaningful to me. I haven't decided what yet. This, too, was such a fresh, new simile: "As she spoke, she pressed her nose into mine, like I was an envelope to be stamped." Thank you for not telling us who/what she was. I love this whole thing.
Thanks so much Sharron!
Those feelings are often what I feel when reading Murakami (one of my biggest inspirations), so hearing you say that warms my heart. :)
And the repetition of green. Very M. Night Shyamalan
Heh, thanks Stephanie!
nailed it
Another story that could be be followed with whole other chapters! Damn Nathan, you're mighty good at these mysterious endings that leave me hoping for more. I loved this "As she spoke, she pressed her nose into mine, like I was an envelope to be stamped." as if we stamp either other in the act of love with our very own print... so good!
Thanks so much, Susie.
I must admit, writing this story felt like a calming wind this week and I'm happy to see it has landed. It was an escape. A mysterious one, to be sure. But a lovely escape.
I can feel the pull of it wanting to be more, but I'm also wary that whenever I try to extend something I get bogged down worrying about where it can lead to.
Great story! I always prefer to be at airports early to relax and roam personally. My attention for reading has been terrible lately but this has kept it and made me wonder if I should dive back into literature again
Thanks so much! That’s so great to hear. I hope you can find that dive back into literature again. It’s a wonderful place to swim in.