“You are within the system now, I think to myself, knowing that I have passed through the necessary threshold of security. Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric.”
As a frequent flyer, I recognise this feeling Nathan. However, I also strongly dislike sharing the row of seats with anyone. I guess I just need my own private jet 😁
This was a great story. It’s the type of science fiction that I love and it reminded in a lot of ways of a writer called Michael Marshall Smith. He wrote two of my favourite science fiction books called Spares and Only Forward. The latter is very much like this with everything happening on the periphery but yet also directly affecting the main character. He’s here on Substack and still seems to be writing away so that cool
Anyway, brilliantly done 👍🏼
Oh, and I also see this as a Twlight Zone episode!
Thanks so much, Dan! I know this one was a bit on the longer side, so I really appreciate anyone who makes it through to the end and takes the time to drop in a comment.
Haha. Private jet all the way! Oh the dream. Actually, I'd settle for First Class. That'd do me nicely. (OK, I'd settle for Business Class, too.)
I hadn't heard of Michael Marshall Smith, so thanks for the rec. Perfect!
Always with the mysterious women in your tales, Nathan! This was a slippery one but I tend to agree with Beth’s read. I’ve already had to do one trip for business and there will be more to come. I know every time I travel now I will think of the story.
I love how much we learn of this character simply through his observations—not just of the repetition and what perhaps others couldn’t see, but also of the way people move their bodies and the way likelihoods can be calculated. What I meant to say is great story! Again. ;)
One of my goals is definitely to try to convey quirks and character through observations from a protagonist's point of view, so I'm really pleased you mention this. 🙏
My interpretation? Nobody else saw the lady on the plane, which is why the air hostess ‘mostly ignored her’ and the man in the opposite seat looked at him so oddly after he stood up and then sat back down.
And just for a giggle - I woke this morning from a dream where I was at the airport and trying very hard to make sure I got to my plane on time, but I just couldn’t find my luggage (or something like that). (I am someone who enjoys airports and will always get there early to enjoy the ambience.)
Great descriptions here, like clothes moulding to her body. Unusual terms like duduk create the sense of otherworldliness, the sense therean enigma which cries out to be unlocked. There's a feeling of unfulfillment, a need to know more about this woman and what this strange encounter means. The ending is like a literary moebius strip. Well carried off, Sir.
Read this Sunday while I was selecting the top in fiction line up and I didn’t have a chance to leave a note. I read 40 pieces of fiction that day 🤣. Yours stood out, as always 💚.
So mysterious, so ominous. I really liked this line: "Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric." As well as the way you built the repetition in like a little tick in the protagonist's mind. Lovely work, Nathan!
Thanks so much, Kate. There were a few lines in here where I was trying to imagine Murakami sitting there writing a story, and this (and the chess player nodding) is one of those. A small attempt, perhaps, but it was one where I was concentrating on him writing at his desk and thinking on how he would express it. 😆
// The next day, I received a text message. We cannot advance any further, it said. Cannot advance any further? What a strange way to phrase it. //
When two worlds collide! 😅
Love the humour in this piece. And, hello, it has just the right amount of mystery, i.e. I'm with Dan; this would make an excellent Twilight Zone episode.
Brilliant as usual. Hmm, thinking out loud, you can listen in if you’d like.A diary, excuse me, a green diary ,like the stone of her necklace , with writing inside.Then past tense, already happened. Is she an apparition that lives within the diary? May I suggest; her clothes were molded to her body. Actually , I accidentally read it wrong, then smirked, and re-read it correctly. Though if she is indeed a ghost, maybe molded works ? What about the plane in the sky on repeat . And what does that make him. I think this paragraph is the keeper of the ember. The flame that holds the answers to the story.
“…whether it was even hers to give … but it is within this diary that I write these words, as a plane slides repeatedly through the sky.”
I’m wondering if this is a stand alone ? I love sleuthing through your stories.Yes to Daniel O’Connell. Let me guess, you never listened to my previous recommendation to watch the Twilight Zone, and Rod Serling, the writer and producer. Off you go now, check it out one of these days.
P.S. Sorry, still a bit giddy, ‘high’ on yesterday’s embarrassing compliments, and too much cake today.
Nothing to be sorry for! 😁 So glad you had a good 'high' and lots of cake!
You know, I stumbled over mold and then mould, questioning my own English spelling, and didn't realise until reading your comment as to the perhaps double meaning there.
Keeper of the ember. That's a great saying. Although, I say nothing, I just bask in the warm glow of your thoughts. :)
Stand alone ... yes and no. There's at least one other story where the protagonist may be the same person.
Now... I'll have you know I *did* go watch some Twilight Zone clips 😉 but struggled to find any actual full episodes of it over here that can be streamed. I watched some of the new ones with Jordan Peele, but although they had a cool vibe they seemed to lack a certain something. Anyway, I caught various segments on YouTube and read up on Rod Serling. But yes, I still need to track down and submerge myself fully in the original.
This is the first story of yours’ that I’ve read, and now I’m subscribed! It made me think of “If on a winters night a traveller”, in lots of ways, but first when he says he’s going to a city “in the north”. The refusal to be specific gives it an otherworldly quality. I don’t know if that was intentional. When I don’t name places it’s because I’m being lazy, so I wish I could make it look like such a deliberate cool style choice!
That's the only Calvino I've read, but I enjoyed it a lot.
That was very much the vibe I was aiming for with not giving specifics. I'm not sure if I could pinpoint that on any specific author, but Haruki Murakami is a huge influence.
Don't worry, you can just make the laziness into a specific stylistic choice. ;)
Enjoyed this, Nathan. I wanted to connect and extend the three scenes. Perhaps the ghostly diary will be passed on to the colleague who eventually did miss a plane that the protagonist also happened to be on, but which then never reached its destination...
Love the “hanging chad” feel this story has Nathan. The hook in this story for me was reflective of the tension whenever I fly with my wife somewhere who is not as aggressively last minute but held up against the mirror of my 2 hours early safely tucked in waiting to board it still seems that way to me. Nicely done.
Thanks so much, Tim. I really like that description of "hanging chad".
It seems that quite a few people have partners with polar opposite opinions about arrival times at airports. I'm very much with you on the +2hr buffer. :)
This is an exceptional piece of writing, Nathan, one to which I can relate as though it were my own. Superbly crafted, both in prose and flow of events. There were so many parts I wanted to highlight, as I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. This part, though, really struck me: "People bumped into me, irritated that I had stopped, cursing my lack of thought. I ignored them and remained motionless. Then, after several moments, I dared to look. The plane was there, gliding through the sky. Of course it was. By then, I had expected nothing less." Beautiful and overflowing with emotion, it made me picture myself doing and thinking exactly the same. So much of this piece captures states of mind that I naturally embrace, as they have been part of my persona forever. For example, the idea of getting to the airport early and feeling "within the system," safe and tranquil, is something I’ve always had and continue to long for every time I travel. And the mystery woman and the mystery diary -- you know I love those elements. I love how the universe sends us people to give us messages. Incidentally, the "Everything Repeats" mantra made me think of Nietzsche’s Eternal Return (or Recurrence, which I wrote about some time ago). I could go on and on. Awesome; really awesome.
Thank you, Silvio. As I mentioned in your Note, your words truly mean a lot.
When writing this, I let go of any concern of what or where it was going and remembered how much you hold to such notions in your own letters, and this really helped me write freely, without concern. It was a beautiful experience, and one that I want to experience more.
I had no doubt that you would resonate with being within the system.
Have I read that Nietzsche one of yours? I don't think so. Would you mind linking it?
We should write a piece together, one day. I'm sure it would be a great experience as I find we are very much aligned on so many ideas and views. Here's the link to my piece. It wasn't really on Nietzsche per se, but that concept of his is mentioned at length there. It's from when I still wrote personal stuff only (no autofiction, yet). https://silviocastelletti.substack.com/p/september
Short story? More like a sublime cinematic experience! I felt so much wonder, mystery, elation, and a little bit of fear (me and airplanes do not mix! Lol) reading this wonderful narrative. Everything repeats are words that will haunt me awhile.
“You are within the system now, I think to myself, knowing that I have passed through the necessary threshold of security. Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric.”
As a frequent flyer, I recognise this feeling Nathan. However, I also strongly dislike sharing the row of seats with anyone. I guess I just need my own private jet 😁
This was a great story. It’s the type of science fiction that I love and it reminded in a lot of ways of a writer called Michael Marshall Smith. He wrote two of my favourite science fiction books called Spares and Only Forward. The latter is very much like this with everything happening on the periphery but yet also directly affecting the main character. He’s here on Substack and still seems to be writing away so that cool
Anyway, brilliantly done 👍🏼
Oh, and I also see this as a Twlight Zone episode!
Thanks so much, Dan! I know this one was a bit on the longer side, so I really appreciate anyone who makes it through to the end and takes the time to drop in a comment.
Haha. Private jet all the way! Oh the dream. Actually, I'd settle for First Class. That'd do me nicely. (OK, I'd settle for Business Class, too.)
I hadn't heard of Michael Marshall Smith, so thanks for the rec. Perfect!
Always with the mysterious women in your tales, Nathan! This was a slippery one but I tend to agree with Beth’s read. I’ve already had to do one trip for business and there will be more to come. I know every time I travel now I will think of the story.
Hehe, thanks Ben. Slippery. I like it.
And yeah… those mysterious women. For some reason, it’s hard to keep them out of the stories. ;)
I love how much we learn of this character simply through his observations—not just of the repetition and what perhaps others couldn’t see, but also of the way people move their bodies and the way likelihoods can be calculated. What I meant to say is great story! Again. ;)
Thank you, Holly.
One of my goals is definitely to try to convey quirks and character through observations from a protagonist's point of view, so I'm really pleased you mention this. 🙏
My interpretation? Nobody else saw the lady on the plane, which is why the air hostess ‘mostly ignored her’ and the man in the opposite seat looked at him so oddly after he stood up and then sat back down.
And just for a giggle - I woke this morning from a dream where I was at the airport and trying very hard to make sure I got to my plane on time, but I just couldn’t find my luggage (or something like that). (I am someone who enjoys airports and will always get there early to enjoy the ambience.)
Thanks for another intriguing post.
Very astute observations in your read, Beth. :)
Spot on. Or, at least, that's how I interpreted it, too.
How funny. Classic luggage-lost dream scenario. I think I've had countless of those myself.
Thanks for being here.
Great descriptions here, like clothes moulding to her body. Unusual terms like duduk create the sense of otherworldliness, the sense therean enigma which cries out to be unlocked. There's a feeling of unfulfillment, a need to know more about this woman and what this strange encounter means. The ending is like a literary moebius strip. Well carried off, Sir.
Thanks so much, Terry.
"a literary moebius strip"... I couldn't ask for anything better in terms of description. This makes me smile. Thank you.
😃
Read this Sunday while I was selecting the top in fiction line up and I didn’t have a chance to leave a note. I read 40 pieces of fiction that day 🤣. Yours stood out, as always 💚.
Wow, that’s a lot of reading!
And wow, thank you. 🙏
You’re welcome.
So mysterious, so ominous. I really liked this line: "Like mist clearing from a valley at sunrise, the anxiety that has built within dissipates and a great relief floods into my body. It is almost euphoric." As well as the way you built the repetition in like a little tick in the protagonist's mind. Lovely work, Nathan!
Thanks so much, Kate. There were a few lines in here where I was trying to imagine Murakami sitting there writing a story, and this (and the chess player nodding) is one of those. A small attempt, perhaps, but it was one where I was concentrating on him writing at his desk and thinking on how he would express it. 😆
// The next day, I received a text message. We cannot advance any further, it said. Cannot advance any further? What a strange way to phrase it. //
When two worlds collide! 😅
Love the humour in this piece. And, hello, it has just the right amount of mystery, i.e. I'm with Dan; this would make an excellent Twilight Zone episode.
Thanks mate. Yes, tried to tread that line between slightly strange humour and slightly strange mystery. Glad it worked for you.
Brilliant as usual. Hmm, thinking out loud, you can listen in if you’d like.A diary, excuse me, a green diary ,like the stone of her necklace , with writing inside.Then past tense, already happened. Is she an apparition that lives within the diary? May I suggest; her clothes were molded to her body. Actually , I accidentally read it wrong, then smirked, and re-read it correctly. Though if she is indeed a ghost, maybe molded works ? What about the plane in the sky on repeat . And what does that make him. I think this paragraph is the keeper of the ember. The flame that holds the answers to the story.
“…whether it was even hers to give … but it is within this diary that I write these words, as a plane slides repeatedly through the sky.”
I’m wondering if this is a stand alone ? I love sleuthing through your stories.Yes to Daniel O’Connell. Let me guess, you never listened to my previous recommendation to watch the Twilight Zone, and Rod Serling, the writer and producer. Off you go now, check it out one of these days.
P.S. Sorry, still a bit giddy, ‘high’ on yesterday’s embarrassing compliments, and too much cake today.
Nothing to be sorry for! 😁 So glad you had a good 'high' and lots of cake!
You know, I stumbled over mold and then mould, questioning my own English spelling, and didn't realise until reading your comment as to the perhaps double meaning there.
Keeper of the ember. That's a great saying. Although, I say nothing, I just bask in the warm glow of your thoughts. :)
Stand alone ... yes and no. There's at least one other story where the protagonist may be the same person.
Now... I'll have you know I *did* go watch some Twilight Zone clips 😉 but struggled to find any actual full episodes of it over here that can be streamed. I watched some of the new ones with Jordan Peele, but although they had a cool vibe they seemed to lack a certain something. Anyway, I caught various segments on YouTube and read up on Rod Serling. But yes, I still need to track down and submerge myself fully in the original.
This is the first story of yours’ that I’ve read, and now I’m subscribed! It made me think of “If on a winters night a traveller”, in lots of ways, but first when he says he’s going to a city “in the north”. The refusal to be specific gives it an otherworldly quality. I don’t know if that was intentional. When I don’t name places it’s because I’m being lazy, so I wish I could make it look like such a deliberate cool style choice!
Thank you, Mark. That's very kind.
That's the only Calvino I've read, but I enjoyed it a lot.
That was very much the vibe I was aiming for with not giving specifics. I'm not sure if I could pinpoint that on any specific author, but Haruki Murakami is a huge influence.
Don't worry, you can just make the laziness into a specific stylistic choice. ;)
Enjoyed this, Nathan. I wanted to connect and extend the three scenes. Perhaps the ghostly diary will be passed on to the colleague who eventually did miss a plane that the protagonist also happened to be on, but which then never reached its destination...
Thanks Johnathan! Ooh, I like that. That's great.
Wow. You are a gifted writer, my friend.
Thank you, Tiffany. That's incredibly kind. 🙏
I second all the above comments so have nothing to add but, 'loved it'!!
Too kind. Thank you. 🙏
Love the “hanging chad” feel this story has Nathan. The hook in this story for me was reflective of the tension whenever I fly with my wife somewhere who is not as aggressively last minute but held up against the mirror of my 2 hours early safely tucked in waiting to board it still seems that way to me. Nicely done.
Thanks so much, Tim. I really like that description of "hanging chad".
It seems that quite a few people have partners with polar opposite opinions about arrival times at airports. I'm very much with you on the +2hr buffer. :)
This is an exceptional piece of writing, Nathan, one to which I can relate as though it were my own. Superbly crafted, both in prose and flow of events. There were so many parts I wanted to highlight, as I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. This part, though, really struck me: "People bumped into me, irritated that I had stopped, cursing my lack of thought. I ignored them and remained motionless. Then, after several moments, I dared to look. The plane was there, gliding through the sky. Of course it was. By then, I had expected nothing less." Beautiful and overflowing with emotion, it made me picture myself doing and thinking exactly the same. So much of this piece captures states of mind that I naturally embrace, as they have been part of my persona forever. For example, the idea of getting to the airport early and feeling "within the system," safe and tranquil, is something I’ve always had and continue to long for every time I travel. And the mystery woman and the mystery diary -- you know I love those elements. I love how the universe sends us people to give us messages. Incidentally, the "Everything Repeats" mantra made me think of Nietzsche’s Eternal Return (or Recurrence, which I wrote about some time ago). I could go on and on. Awesome; really awesome.
Thank you, Silvio. As I mentioned in your Note, your words truly mean a lot.
When writing this, I let go of any concern of what or where it was going and remembered how much you hold to such notions in your own letters, and this really helped me write freely, without concern. It was a beautiful experience, and one that I want to experience more.
I had no doubt that you would resonate with being within the system.
Have I read that Nietzsche one of yours? I don't think so. Would you mind linking it?
We should write a piece together, one day. I'm sure it would be a great experience as I find we are very much aligned on so many ideas and views. Here's the link to my piece. It wasn't really on Nietzsche per se, but that concept of his is mentioned at length there. It's from when I still wrote personal stuff only (no autofiction, yet). https://silviocastelletti.substack.com/p/september
Thanks for sharing!
That would be wonderful indeed.
Short story? More like a sublime cinematic experience! I felt so much wonder, mystery, elation, and a little bit of fear (me and airplanes do not mix! Lol) reading this wonderful narrative. Everything repeats are words that will haunt me awhile.
Thanks so much, Nadia.
I will happily accept sublime, hehe. You are too kind.
X
It should be your middle name!