Nathan, the language you use to craft this world is so rich and lustrous. The writing stands alone as a tone poem, even without the mystery and intrigue. One day I went to hold the volume in my hand and read it from front to back but until now these little sips are fantastic.
"I couldn't understand, not then, and without realising I moved away to the eastern edge of the clearing, looking through the thin line of trees to where the barest hint of dawn tinted the horizon. The stars had begun their retreat, leaving a canvas ready to be painted by the day’s light."
Such eloquence in a sunrise. Another splendid morsel, the father returns, but where is Brae? Did she take her father's place? I believe in Renn, he'll solve the puzzle.
Thank you, Alexander. You quoted my favourite passage :)
He does!! I wasn't sure if it was too obscure, but he was mentioned by name several chapters earlier (though, in this here moment, Renn needs to confirm what he suspects). But then, how is he there, and perhaps more importantly ... *when* is he there?!
It is a splendid passage. And yes Alistair is mentioned before, even the place is hinted at where Renn would find him... when though? Questions, questions!
Ahh, now that's a notion I love, thanks Kate. That's now going to become my peaceful mantra whenever I worry about not hitting these entries regularly enough 🧡
"She was gone, leaving an eerie quiet that hung in the air, accompanied by the fear and confusion that swam beneath my skin." - I felt this haunting, this emptiness, this surrealness. Another stellar chapter, Nathan!
“The stars had begun their retreat, leaving a canvas ready to be painted by the day's light.”
That’s a lovely sentence, Nathan. Perfectly capturing the uncertain world Renn finds himself in after losing Brae (who I’m convinced is not gone forever but just spending some time on a farm)
I have an idea of who this new fellow might be, but will leave it for the next instalment to find out for sure
‘..the fading glaze of stars” I just love how effortlessly poetry is woven into everything you write, Nathan. I have this image of you going about your day, getting coffee and getting the bus, and all your interactions with people are adorned with the same impossibly beautiful little descriptors whenever you speak, even about the mundane. (FYI, if that’s not the case, I don’t want to hear it ☺️) Another gorgeous immersion into this world, thank you.
I mean, yes, some people find it weird that when they speak to me I have to pause for ten minutes and decide upon the appropriate words before letting them out of my mouth.
Nathan, I imagine that this must be a difficult place for a storyteller. (I don't write fiction, so take this with a grain of salt. It's only one opinion of a reader who's enjoying these characters.) I notice that the character of Renn has finally experienced a resolution of enormous tension in getting what he wanted: the kiss from Brae. To me, it seems like the storyteller now has to pause and summon up an entirely new vitalizing motivation for Renn, along with all the other plot details that will propel it. Daunting! No wonder you've wanted to take your time with it. That seems wise to me. I hope the characters will continue to speak to you, and that the process of writing their story will be a joy for you.
Thank you, Ann. That's a really beautiful comment for you to make and I very much appreciate waking up just now to read your words. I haven't ever studied storytelling formally, just reflected a lot on the books and films I love and the way those stories are told. So I tend to write by feel, and yes, Renn's driving motivation has been seeking some reciprocity of his love for Brae, and he found that in her kiss, but then she was snatched away from him almost immediately after. His new motivation becomes to find her, and to find answers from Alistair for how he just appeared and what that means and how everything is connected.
^I know I didn't need to write that out, haha, but it's actually good for me to reaffirm that in words.
Thanks Troy. Pivot! I still have a few niggles with this entry, but wanted to put it out and think about it and let it simmer. Hopefully none of you mind this being somewhat fluid in how it may end up edited.
This piece of puzzle feels quite lonely because it doesn’t fit anywhere? Who’s this guy? Do I have to go back and reread everything to find the clues? Is he the dad? Who is Mara?
That’s what I thought initially but then you asked those questions at the end and I got confused. 🤣
When the father keeps asking where she is, I think it’s unrealistic for Renn not to know who he’s talking about. There was only one ‘she’ at the place and she just vanished into thin air. Or am I missing something?
That's a good point, thanks Claudia. I did consider changing the dialogue to begin to reflect that, but what Alistair saw is not what Renn saw, because Alistair wasn't *there* before in the clearing. But, from a reader's perspective, prior to the next chapter, perhaps this is indeed unrealistic. Thanks. Will think on this.
PS In the first few installment, Brae was the strong, rugged, assertive character with a bold job to do. Renn was painted as more naive, uncertain, younger, looking to Brae for direction. I hope you are able to leave some elements of his "innocence" and tentativeness for a while yet. I found the contrast between the two characters unexpected and charming.
Oh yes, another entry! I loved this one, and oooh, that twist! Sad it took so long for me to get around to it, I've kinda been avoiding Substack for a while, but I'm dipping my toes back in. Looking forward to the next one.
I love your writing, Nathan. It washes over me, like a Fairport Convention song,or a girlfriend I went out with. Difficult to explain because it's more feeling than fact
Nathan, the language you use to craft this world is so rich and lustrous. The writing stands alone as a tone poem, even without the mystery and intrigue. One day I went to hold the volume in my hand and read it from front to back but until now these little sips are fantastic.
Ah, Ben, thank you so much. Nothing would make me happier than to be able to deliver such a volume into your hands. I hope one day that can happen.
"I couldn't understand, not then, and without realising I moved away to the eastern edge of the clearing, looking through the thin line of trees to where the barest hint of dawn tinted the horizon. The stars had begun their retreat, leaving a canvas ready to be painted by the day’s light."
Such eloquence in a sunrise. Another splendid morsel, the father returns, but where is Brae? Did she take her father's place? I believe in Renn, he'll solve the puzzle.
Thank you, Alexander. You quoted my favourite passage :)
He does!! I wasn't sure if it was too obscure, but he was mentioned by name several chapters earlier (though, in this here moment, Renn needs to confirm what he suspects). But then, how is he there, and perhaps more importantly ... *when* is he there?!
It is a splendid passage. And yes Alistair is mentioned before, even the place is hinted at where Renn would find him... when though? Questions, questions!
😄
90% of my worry with this is related to setting myself plot-hole traps. It's part of the reason why it's taking a while to unfurl.
Plot holes are forgivable as long as there are bridges over the bigger chasms ;) characters > plot
👏
Heh, well said. Hopefully Renn and Brae, and now Alistair, are large enough to span any such holes.
I have no doubt. Doubt is the party-pooper that leads to fear, and we know where that leads! 😎
Hah, yep, 100%
Who, me or Nathan? I am neither. I am both. I am Schrödinger's Writer! 😅
The space between instalments mimics the space of mystery and discovery in your writing 🖤🖤
Fantastic. So visceral due to details of the weather and the eyes, frown, etc. I find myself diving into those atmospheric and sensory details. 👏🏽
Ahh, now that's a notion I love, thanks Kate. That's now going to become my peaceful mantra whenever I worry about not hitting these entries regularly enough 🧡
"She was gone, leaving an eerie quiet that hung in the air, accompanied by the fear and confusion that swam beneath my skin." - I felt this haunting, this emptiness, this surrealness. Another stellar chapter, Nathan!
Thanks for reading, Nadia! You're the best.
Nu-uh, you are!
😅 🤗
Big hugs!
Definitely her father. The rest will come to light as you... come to write... Another lovely piece. Thanks so much.
And this will be my motto 😁
Thanks Beth.
And yes, the father! Back from ... Somewhere/somewhen.
“The stars had begun their retreat, leaving a canvas ready to be painted by the day's light.”
That’s a lovely sentence, Nathan. Perfectly capturing the uncertain world Renn finds himself in after losing Brae (who I’m convinced is not gone forever but just spending some time on a farm)
I have an idea of who this new fellow might be, but will leave it for the next instalment to find out for sure
Brilliantly done as usual, Nathan 👍🏼
Thanks so much, Dan! You and Alexander (and Ben, on Notes) all picked my favourite passage.
I hope you are right and that she's not gone forever. Maybe she really is on a farm 😉
(Alexander hit on the fellow correctly, if you want to go confirm things ...)
Ah, so he did. Great minds do indeed think alike 😁
That looks a lot like a missing Hemsworth.
Haha, he does look a bit Hemsworthy now that you mention it.
He can play that character if this gets turned into a film, then ;)
‘..the fading glaze of stars” I just love how effortlessly poetry is woven into everything you write, Nathan. I have this image of you going about your day, getting coffee and getting the bus, and all your interactions with people are adorned with the same impossibly beautiful little descriptors whenever you speak, even about the mundane. (FYI, if that’s not the case, I don’t want to hear it ☺️) Another gorgeous immersion into this world, thank you.
This is absolutely how my day unfolds!
I mean, yes, some people find it weird that when they speak to me I have to pause for ten minutes and decide upon the appropriate words before letting them out of my mouth.
But yes, that is exactly how it is 😉😄
(And thank you, my friend 🙏😊)
Oh I’m very pleased to hear that my little fantasy is factual. Thank you, friend 🤗
Nathan, I imagine that this must be a difficult place for a storyteller. (I don't write fiction, so take this with a grain of salt. It's only one opinion of a reader who's enjoying these characters.) I notice that the character of Renn has finally experienced a resolution of enormous tension in getting what he wanted: the kiss from Brae. To me, it seems like the storyteller now has to pause and summon up an entirely new vitalizing motivation for Renn, along with all the other plot details that will propel it. Daunting! No wonder you've wanted to take your time with it. That seems wise to me. I hope the characters will continue to speak to you, and that the process of writing their story will be a joy for you.
Thank you, Ann. That's a really beautiful comment for you to make and I very much appreciate waking up just now to read your words. I haven't ever studied storytelling formally, just reflected a lot on the books and films I love and the way those stories are told. So I tend to write by feel, and yes, Renn's driving motivation has been seeking some reciprocity of his love for Brae, and he found that in her kiss, but then she was snatched away from him almost immediately after. His new motivation becomes to find her, and to find answers from Alistair for how he just appeared and what that means and how everything is connected.
^I know I didn't need to write that out, haha, but it's actually good for me to reaffirm that in words.
Thanks again, Ann!
Intriguing development, Nathan! No longer the romantic tension between Renn and Brae, now a new phase and new motivation. Great pivot!
Thanks Troy. Pivot! I still have a few niggles with this entry, but wanted to put it out and think about it and let it simmer. Hopefully none of you mind this being somewhat fluid in how it may end up edited.
Niggle away! ;)
I’m completely entangled in this Nathan. This needs to be a novel. I’d love to read it all at once. Your writing is so fluid and beautiful.
Thanks, Jim. Someday, I hope. Someday. 🤗
This piece of puzzle feels quite lonely because it doesn’t fit anywhere? Who’s this guy? Do I have to go back and reread everything to find the clues? Is he the dad? Who is Mara?
It's Brae's father, yes. (Mentioned several chapters ago, which would likely flow better if things had been posted more regularly 😂).
The next entry will essentially confirm everything for the reader, adding various details, and a few more questions.
And Mara is, well ... That'll become clear next.
That’s what I thought initially but then you asked those questions at the end and I got confused. 🤣
When the father keeps asking where she is, I think it’s unrealistic for Renn not to know who he’s talking about. There was only one ‘she’ at the place and she just vanished into thin air. Or am I missing something?
That's a good point, thanks Claudia. I did consider changing the dialogue to begin to reflect that, but what Alistair saw is not what Renn saw, because Alistair wasn't *there* before in the clearing. But, from a reader's perspective, prior to the next chapter, perhaps this is indeed unrealistic. Thanks. Will think on this.
I love your writing, it is so compelling, and so feeling driven, even in these short installments.
Thanks, Brian. Thanks for being here and reading. It warms my heart to know you come by for a read.
Yeeeks! Gone. But surely not GONE gone!?
PS In the first few installment, Brae was the strong, rugged, assertive character with a bold job to do. Renn was painted as more naive, uncertain, younger, looking to Brae for direction. I hope you are able to leave some elements of his "innocence" and tentativeness for a while yet. I found the contrast between the two characters unexpected and charming.
I really appreciate this comment, Sharron. This is the exact kind of feelings feedback I'm always curious to hear about.
Surely not...
Oh yes, another entry! I loved this one, and oooh, that twist! Sad it took so long for me to get around to it, I've kinda been avoiding Substack for a while, but I'm dipping my toes back in. Looking forward to the next one.
Thanks Andrei. 🙏
And no worries on the avoidance. This little Christmas break has made me very behind at the moment anyway.
I love your writing, Nathan. It washes over me, like a Fairport Convention song,or a girlfriend I went out with. Difficult to explain because it's more feeling than fact
Thank you, Terry. If that is the effect that it has, then that's wonderful :)