52 Comments
User's avatar
Ben Wakeman's avatar

Nathan, the language you use to craft this world is so rich and lustrous. The writing stands alone as a tone poem, even without the mystery and intrigue. One day I went to hold the volume in my hand and read it from front to back but until now these little sips are fantastic.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Ah, Ben, thank you so much. Nothing would make me happier than to be able to deliver such a volume into your hands. I hope one day that can happen.

Expand full comment
Alexander Ipfelkofer's avatar

"I couldn't understand, not then, and without realising I moved away to the eastern edge of the clearing, looking through the thin line of trees to where the barest hint of dawn tinted the horizon. The stars had begun their retreat, leaving a canvas ready to be painted by the day’s light."

Such eloquence in a sunrise. Another splendid morsel, the father returns, but where is Brae? Did she take her father's place? I believe in Renn, he'll solve the puzzle.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thank you, Alexander. You quoted my favourite passage :)

He does!! I wasn't sure if it was too obscure, but he was mentioned by name several chapters earlier (though, in this here moment, Renn needs to confirm what he suspects). But then, how is he there, and perhaps more importantly ... *when* is he there?!

Expand full comment
Alexander Ipfelkofer's avatar

It is a splendid passage. And yes Alistair is mentioned before, even the place is hinted at where Renn would find him... when though? Questions, questions!

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

😄

90% of my worry with this is related to setting myself plot-hole traps. It's part of the reason why it's taking a while to unfurl.

Expand full comment
Alexander Ipfelkofer's avatar

Plot holes are forgivable as long as there are bridges over the bigger chasms ;) characters > plot

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

👏

Heh, well said. Hopefully Renn and Brae, and now Alistair, are large enough to span any such holes.

Expand full comment
Alexander Ipfelkofer's avatar

I have no doubt. Doubt is the party-pooper that leads to fear, and we know where that leads! 😎

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Dec 12, 2023
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Hah, yep, 100%

Expand full comment
Alexander Ipfelkofer's avatar

Who, me or Nathan? I am neither. I am both. I am Schrödinger's Writer! 😅

Expand full comment
Kathleen Clare Waller's avatar

The space between instalments mimics the space of mystery and discovery in your writing 🖤🖤

Fantastic. So visceral due to details of the weather and the eyes, frown, etc. I find myself diving into those atmospheric and sensory details. 👏🏽

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Ahh, now that's a notion I love, thanks Kate. That's now going to become my peaceful mantra whenever I worry about not hitting these entries regularly enough 🧡

Expand full comment
Beth T (BethOfAus)'s avatar

Definitely her father. The rest will come to light as you... come to write... Another lovely piece. Thanks so much.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

And this will be my motto 😁

Thanks Beth.

And yes, the father! Back from ... Somewhere/somewhen.

Expand full comment
Daniel O’Donnell's avatar

“The stars had begun their retreat, leaving a canvas ready to be painted by the day's light.”

That’s a lovely sentence, Nathan. Perfectly capturing the uncertain world Renn finds himself in after losing Brae (who I’m convinced is not gone forever but just spending some time on a farm)

I have an idea of who this new fellow might be, but will leave it for the next instalment to find out for sure

Brilliantly done as usual, Nathan 👍🏼

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks so much, Dan! You and Alexander (and Ben, on Notes) all picked my favourite passage.

I hope you are right and that she's not gone forever. Maybe she really is on a farm 😉

(Alexander hit on the fellow correctly, if you want to go confirm things ...)

Expand full comment
Daniel O’Donnell's avatar

Ah, so he did. Great minds do indeed think alike 😁

Expand full comment
Caz Hart's avatar

That looks a lot like a missing Hemsworth.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Haha, he does look a bit Hemsworthy now that you mention it.

He can play that character if this gets turned into a film, then ;)

Expand full comment
Chloe Hope's avatar

‘..the fading glaze of stars” I just love how effortlessly poetry is woven into everything you write, Nathan. I have this image of you going about your day, getting coffee and getting the bus, and all your interactions with people are adorned with the same impossibly beautiful little descriptors whenever you speak, even about the mundane. (FYI, if that’s not the case, I don’t want to hear it ☺️) Another gorgeous immersion into this world, thank you.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

This is absolutely how my day unfolds!

I mean, yes, some people find it weird that when they speak to me I have to pause for ten minutes and decide upon the appropriate words before letting them out of my mouth.

But yes, that is exactly how it is 😉😄

(And thank you, my friend 🙏😊)

Expand full comment
Chloe Hope's avatar

Oh I’m very pleased to hear that my little fantasy is factual. Thank you, friend 🤗

Expand full comment
Ann Collins's avatar

Nathan, I imagine that this must be a difficult place for a storyteller. (I don't write fiction, so take this with a grain of salt. It's only one opinion of a reader who's enjoying these characters.) I notice that the character of Renn has finally experienced a resolution of enormous tension in getting what he wanted: the kiss from Brae. To me, it seems like the storyteller now has to pause and summon up an entirely new vitalizing motivation for Renn, along with all the other plot details that will propel it. Daunting! No wonder you've wanted to take your time with it. That seems wise to me. I hope the characters will continue to speak to you, and that the process of writing their story will be a joy for you.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thank you, Ann. That's a really beautiful comment for you to make and I very much appreciate waking up just now to read your words. I haven't ever studied storytelling formally, just reflected a lot on the books and films I love and the way those stories are told. So I tend to write by feel, and yes, Renn's driving motivation has been seeking some reciprocity of his love for Brae, and he found that in her kiss, but then she was snatched away from him almost immediately after. His new motivation becomes to find her, and to find answers from Alistair for how he just appeared and what that means and how everything is connected.

^I know I didn't need to write that out, haha, but it's actually good for me to reaffirm that in words.

Thanks again, Ann!

Expand full comment
Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

Intriguing development, Nathan! No longer the romantic tension between Renn and Brae, now a new phase and new motivation. Great pivot!

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks Troy. Pivot! I still have a few niggles with this entry, but wanted to put it out and think about it and let it simmer. Hopefully none of you mind this being somewhat fluid in how it may end up edited.

Expand full comment
Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

Niggle away! ;)

Expand full comment
Jim Cummings's avatar

I’m completely entangled in this Nathan. This needs to be a novel. I’d love to read it all at once. Your writing is so fluid and beautiful.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks, Jim. Someday, I hope. Someday. 🤗

Expand full comment
Claudia Befu's avatar

This piece of puzzle feels quite lonely because it doesn’t fit anywhere? Who’s this guy? Do I have to go back and reread everything to find the clues? Is he the dad? Who is Mara?

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

It's Brae's father, yes. (Mentioned several chapters ago, which would likely flow better if things had been posted more regularly 😂).

The next entry will essentially confirm everything for the reader, adding various details, and a few more questions.

And Mara is, well ... That'll become clear next.

Expand full comment
Claudia Befu's avatar

That’s what I thought initially but then you asked those questions at the end and I got confused. 🤣

When the father keeps asking where she is, I think it’s unrealistic for Renn not to know who he’s talking about. There was only one ‘she’ at the place and she just vanished into thin air. Or am I missing something?

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

That's a good point, thanks Claudia. I did consider changing the dialogue to begin to reflect that, but what Alistair saw is not what Renn saw, because Alistair wasn't *there* before in the clearing. But, from a reader's perspective, prior to the next chapter, perhaps this is indeed unrealistic. Thanks. Will think on this.

Expand full comment
Brian Funke's avatar

I love your writing, it is so compelling, and so feeling driven, even in these short installments.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks, Brian. Thanks for being here and reading. It warms my heart to know you come by for a read.

Expand full comment
Sharron Bassano's avatar

Yeeeks! Gone. But surely not GONE gone!?

Expand full comment
Sharron Bassano's avatar

PS In the first few installment, Brae was the strong, rugged, assertive character with a bold job to do. Renn was painted as more naive, uncertain, younger, looking to Brae for direction. I hope you are able to leave some elements of his "innocence" and tentativeness for a while yet. I found the contrast between the two characters unexpected and charming.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

I really appreciate this comment, Sharron. This is the exact kind of feelings feedback I'm always curious to hear about.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Surely not...

Expand full comment
Andrei Atanasov's avatar

Oh yes, another entry! I loved this one, and oooh, that twist! Sad it took so long for me to get around to it, I've kinda been avoiding Substack for a while, but I'm dipping my toes back in. Looking forward to the next one.

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks Andrei. 🙏

And no worries on the avoidance. This little Christmas break has made me very behind at the moment anyway.

Expand full comment
Terry Freedman's avatar

I love your writing, Nathan. It washes over me, like a Fairport Convention song,or a girlfriend I went out with. Difficult to explain because it's more feeling than fact

Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

Thank you, Terry. If that is the effect that it has, then that's wonderful :)

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Dec 12, 2023
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Nathan Slake's avatar

😆 yay! Come next installment, hopefully you'll know whether your suspicions hold true.

Expand full comment