"How does he do it?" I asked myself. So I went back and read the first paragraph again. *That's how.*
Nathan, you are a master of creating a lightening-fast, sympathetic connection with your reader. It gets me every time. Well done. And I respect the 4B (for B?) pencil (very soft but can withstand a good amount of pressure).
Great story, Nathan! I love the space you leave between thoughts, descriptions, and details; just enough for us readers to choose the direction we want to go with it. This, I think, is an essential quality for a storyteller, and yet one that's rare to find. Many stories resemble film scripts, with each instant meticulously chronicled. You have this quality in spades.
I also loved the wordless communication at the beginning ("we proceeded to have an entire conversation without saying anything, her eyes telling me that she, too, wasn't all that good but that she had played in high school and, for no reason other than routine, had decided to continue and joined the orchestra"), which pairs a little with the minidisc scene, as in "what do you need a minidisc player for, between us?".
Thank you my friend. That means a lot. Love your thoughts, and especially so on the minidisc line as I hadn't actually (consciously, at least) thought of it that way but that's so true.
“She smiled, letting one side of her mouth creep a little higher than the other.” Wonderful details such as this makes your stories so vivid and a joy to read. Even though 4B is so soft, your prose is so sharp.
Something about those stories where something almost/might've/could've happened and didn't that linger with us forever and we can't quite put a finger on why... There's something so haunting and true about those stories. You've captured that essence here wonderfully.
A gorgeous story, beautifully written. It so reminds me of my own youth, and the angst, and the not really knowing how to approach her -- and then finding out it was too late. Yeah, we all have our B-- hidden somewhere in our past.
Beautifully written Nathan. When we're young the shell hasn't hardened yet and it can all be so crushing. My thoughts went back to a certain girl of course, long ago. I think most of us have a certain girl or boy in the past that will always be present. Thanks for sharing this story. - Jim
So weird, I was just having a conversation about the trick of texting multiple ideas within the same text with my wife last week. Specifically, it was her explaining to me that that was the reason why older people still end their texts with “…”. To read that in your story today felt super surreal 🤯 I quite liked the story, too. Short and to the point, which is rare for you 😂
The ache! We humans, always thinking we’re on the wrong side of the quad.:) How you pull me into this drama so fluidly, with sensitivity and spaciousness, in ALL your stories, it’s quite mesmerizing.
And as an aside, Dave and I went through a phase of space-lessness, finding somehow that creating long, undying words built from many others so much more effective than chopping them up. Sans capitalization too, so it made for very.slow.deciphering. 😂
And wow, how wonderful. I love that you both did that. Having to slowly decipher would no doubt have added to that experience and connection between you both.
I love how you let the 4B soft, set the scene. It has been many years since I aimlessly chewed on a pencil. I remember the partly chewing #2. Good thing I never chewed on the lead, the paint was bad enough.
The companionship of awkward was actually a great connection.
My highlight;
“I was starting to discover who I was, the boat of my soul finding some mooring alongside shores unknown. If I had a shell, I was emerging from it, like some broken moth.”
I think I have consistently
followed the same path, though sometimes it happened multiple times in my younger life . I think on occasion, I still experience the Chrysalis part.
Thank you for bringing your own thoughts and experiences, Lor, I love it. As soon as you said about chewing a pencil my mouth could taste the distinct flavour. It has been many years since I have done such but that came flooding back immediately!
"Signing up for the orchestra was no different; I did so with a kind of lacklustre apathy, a pathetic inability of free will I find I now detest."
& what a sad text - IveMetSome1IDntHaveTime4OrchestraNowSry
So emphasized by the lack of spaces and spelling, as if just an afterthought. I wonder if you knew someone who sent messages like this? A cool premise and draws us right in. At the start, we think - is she just a bit of a weirdo/alternative looking for uniqueness or is she lazy or what. I do love a good variety of pencils.
"How does he do it?" I asked myself. So I went back and read the first paragraph again. *That's how.*
Nathan, you are a master of creating a lightening-fast, sympathetic connection with your reader. It gets me every time. Well done. And I respect the 4B (for B?) pencil (very soft but can withstand a good amount of pressure).
Thank you, Ann, that's such a lovely comment and means a lot.
I respect your respect for the pencil (and yes, for B). ;)
Brilliantly done, Nathan
In many ways I would say you captured my late teenage years perfectly in these carefully crafted words
“I was starting to discover who I was, the boat of my soul finding some mooring alongside shores unknown.”
There are so many times, even now, that I feel I am destined to be perpetually on that boat 😁
Just a wonderfully heart breaking story that I think so many people will relate to
Outstanding my friend 👍🏼🙂
Thank you, Dan, that means a lot.
I think many of us remain on such a boat. ;)
Gut-wrenching. It reminds me of this poem:
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/song_without_words_776843
Thanks Terry, and thanks for sharing that link. Moving.
Beautiful, sad and full of yearning as we’ve come to expect. I love how you completely avoid telling us what the actual instrument they played was.
Thanks, Ben! Appreciate you reading and being here. 😊
Great story, Nathan! I love the space you leave between thoughts, descriptions, and details; just enough for us readers to choose the direction we want to go with it. This, I think, is an essential quality for a storyteller, and yet one that's rare to find. Many stories resemble film scripts, with each instant meticulously chronicled. You have this quality in spades.
I also loved the wordless communication at the beginning ("we proceeded to have an entire conversation without saying anything, her eyes telling me that she, too, wasn't all that good but that she had played in high school and, for no reason other than routine, had decided to continue and joined the orchestra"), which pairs a little with the minidisc scene, as in "what do you need a minidisc player for, between us?".
Beautiful piece. A real pleasure to read.
Thank you my friend. That means a lot. Love your thoughts, and especially so on the minidisc line as I hadn't actually (consciously, at least) thought of it that way but that's so true.
“She smiled, letting one side of her mouth creep a little higher than the other.” Wonderful details such as this makes your stories so vivid and a joy to read. Even though 4B is so soft, your prose is so sharp.
Hehe, wonderfully put, thanks so much Alexander.
Beautiful ❤️
Thank you, Shoni!
Something about those stories where something almost/might've/could've happened and didn't that linger with us forever and we can't quite put a finger on why... There's something so haunting and true about those stories. You've captured that essence here wonderfully.
Yeah, it's certainly a fascination for me, the whole sliding doors thing. I really enjoy exploring that space. Thanks so much for reading.
The teenage unrequited love… so beautifully captured.
Thanks for reading, Claudia. Glad you enjoyed. 😊
I'm waiting for the 7th part of your other story. :)
Haha, and then binge all in one go? ;)
Exactly!
A gorgeous story, beautifully written. It so reminds me of my own youth, and the angst, and the not really knowing how to approach her -- and then finding out it was too late. Yeah, we all have our B-- hidden somewhere in our past.
Thank you, Ben. Very much appreciate your kind words.
Beautifully written Nathan. When we're young the shell hasn't hardened yet and it can all be so crushing. My thoughts went back to a certain girl of course, long ago. I think most of us have a certain girl or boy in the past that will always be present. Thanks for sharing this story. - Jim
Thanks so much for reading, Jim.
I’m sure you’re right and that that is the case for many of us.
So weird, I was just having a conversation about the trick of texting multiple ideas within the same text with my wife last week. Specifically, it was her explaining to me that that was the reason why older people still end their texts with “…”. To read that in your story today felt super surreal 🤯 I quite liked the story, too. Short and to the point, which is rare for you 😂
😄
Not sure if compliment or insult… ;)
Thanks for reading mate. (Busy few days so sorry I haven’t gotten to your latest yet. It’s there in my inbox waiting.)
How funny that you just had to be having that conversation with your wife.
The ache! We humans, always thinking we’re on the wrong side of the quad.:) How you pull me into this drama so fluidly, with sensitivity and spaciousness, in ALL your stories, it’s quite mesmerizing.
And as an aside, Dave and I went through a phase of space-lessness, finding somehow that creating long, undying words built from many others so much more effective than chopping them up. Sans capitalization too, so it made for very.slow.deciphering. 😂
Thanks, Kimberly! 🤗
And wow, how wonderful. I love that you both did that. Having to slowly decipher would no doubt have added to that experience and connection between you both.
I love how you let the 4B soft, set the scene. It has been many years since I aimlessly chewed on a pencil. I remember the partly chewing #2. Good thing I never chewed on the lead, the paint was bad enough.
The companionship of awkward was actually a great connection.
My highlight;
“I was starting to discover who I was, the boat of my soul finding some mooring alongside shores unknown. If I had a shell, I was emerging from it, like some broken moth.”
I think I have consistently
followed the same path, though sometimes it happened multiple times in my younger life . I think on occasion, I still experience the Chrysalis part.
Wonderful little story, built on expressions.
Thank you for bringing your own thoughts and experiences, Lor, I love it. As soon as you said about chewing a pencil my mouth could taste the distinct flavour. It has been many years since I have done such but that came flooding back immediately!
Tough lesson, but hopefully the narrator learned from his mistake... 💔
I'm sure he did ;)
Thanks, Troy!
Such a great story, Nathan!
This line stood out for me:
"Signing up for the orchestra was no different; I did so with a kind of lacklustre apathy, a pathetic inability of free will I find I now detest."
& what a sad text - IveMetSome1IDntHaveTime4OrchestraNowSry
So emphasized by the lack of spaces and spelling, as if just an afterthought. I wonder if you knew someone who sent messages like this? A cool premise and draws us right in. At the start, we think - is she just a bit of a weirdo/alternative looking for uniqueness or is she lazy or what. I do love a good variety of pencils.
Thanks, Kate, love your thoughts.
I wonder, too ;)