Def getting some possibly sinister vibes, like this stone and it's swishy swirling interior reminds me of the egg/pods in Alien. I'm scared, Nathan. ;)
Your innate, natural ability to overlap dream with reality is at one of its apexes, here. A memory within a memory, all within a dream? How mysterious. Are you sure you’ll do *only* two or three more parts of this? I sense they could just be scratching the surface. This is a high potential story, to me. So looking forward to getting pulled into the continuation of this! Vivid, delicate, evocative writing, as always, Nathan. Your beautiful voice shines through.
Thank you so much, Silvio. I am humbled by your words.
I have been thinking on what is left to say in this story and where it goes, and perhaps you are right. Perhaps it needs a slower telling, especially with how it has begun, and will pan out to be more posts than I originally thought. I've been trimming and rewriting sections, so as this process continues it may expand.
“ I was struck by the sudden sense the ground was just the thinnest crust, that my feet were stepping atop a membrane and could at any moment break through to whatever lay beneath, the beach being nothing but a veneer stretched thin across an unforgiving gulf of black.”
That’s a brilliantly descriptive paragraph, Nathan. Really sparks the imagination to think how solid is our reality and what is beyond
We often walk along the beaches around these parts collecting stones. Will need to much more careful from now on! 😁
I’ve just read both chapters back to back (the first again… I could have sworn I left a comment but it’s not there, but then it’s been such a chaotic, long, mind bending and exhaustingly busy week this isn’t surprising. Your ability to write in two dimensions in such poetic form is enviable Nathan, your stories have huge magnetic and mysterious pull, intrigue for the curious mind… I love it! And movement inside the stone… yes!!
I feel like I’m standing on the cliff of a great story, already two chapters in on winding, mysterious trails, knowing/sensing the third will arrive and push me off the edge…as you do. 😉 You never fail to paint parallel dimensions that never quite leave me the same afterwords.
Well, you can add me to the list of choosing the same paragraph to highlight, “I was struck by the sudden sense …”
Your favorite too, I see. You’re in the midst of a great story. Seems we all have excellent ‘taste’ in the written word.
I’m adding this one to my favorites . I have a feeling it will have some future importance , that for now , is beyond my imagination.
“…she would whisper the same thing each time—the soft boundary of receding waves marks the true path along a shore—mouthing the words as she stared at the horizon.”
Looking forward to the ‘to be continued’ part .Take your time , but hurry up😉
Comments like these keep me fuelled to write write write! 🤗
Thank you as ever, Lor. Some things are here still from the original draft (the first quote) whilst several emerged as necessary additions and edits (the second quote). It nudged its way in there, waiting for it's necessary exploration as this unwinds.
"the soft boundary of receding waves marks the true path along a shore" True, and it's a path ever regenerating, where no footsteps can last.
The mystery continues, in reverse, it seems. Of course, I would have picked it up too and dropped it probably all the same, very intriguing, the pull of the stone extends to the reader. Five faces, five places. Ahhhh, the fivestone, I have an inkling, this is going to get dark... 😬
I visualised a totally different image. I recognise the stone you’re trying to describe! But mine is like an aboriginal axe head with two long sides and three short edges, the bottom point being the sharp one. Easily held and a very distinctive luminous black. Hmmmm….
I find this absolutely delicious, Nathan. I will go back right now to read part one. You've set up a marvelous mystery here. I especially liked this description of the shore: "... a sudden sense the ground was just the thinnest crust, that my feet were stepping atop a membrane and could—at any moment—break through to whatever lay beneath, the beach being nothing but a veneer stretched thin..." My own feet have experienced this thin crusty veneer many times here on the Santa Cruz beach. It is exactly as you say, hinting at something deeper. Excellent story -- I'll be back for the rest.
Thank you, Sharron. Fantastic to hear. I'm so pleased.
I was actually inspired to write that paragraph when walking on a beach here in Victoria, several years ago. Although I didn't stumble across a strange rock, I did have a feeling of something like vertigo when thinking what was (or perhaps wasn't!) beneath my feet.
Oh wow, the click bait first line has follow through!
Love the part about the sand and the water. Makes me think of Octavia Paz's short story The Wave, which is a gorgeous understanding of a wave as a lover. I also thought of the mysterious monoliths when I read about the object in the sand. So much mystery along with sensational delights. Lovely read,Nathan.
How funny would it be if the stone was just a five-sided die but a magical one that adds some DnD functionality to the protagonist's world?
The old man's speech pattern is quite interesting. My imagination added a Slavic accent to his voice just because his English isn't quite correct (do you leave vs. are you leaving). I wonder if that was what you intended? If so, a clever detail!
Def getting some possibly sinister vibes, like this stone and it's swishy swirling interior reminds me of the egg/pods in Alien. I'm scared, Nathan. ;)
Ooh yeah, that’s a good image. I don’t think there’s any facehuggers in store, but I’ll happily take those vibes! Thanks, Troy!
Your innate, natural ability to overlap dream with reality is at one of its apexes, here. A memory within a memory, all within a dream? How mysterious. Are you sure you’ll do *only* two or three more parts of this? I sense they could just be scratching the surface. This is a high potential story, to me. So looking forward to getting pulled into the continuation of this! Vivid, delicate, evocative writing, as always, Nathan. Your beautiful voice shines through.
Thank you so much, Silvio. I am humbled by your words.
I have been thinking on what is left to say in this story and where it goes, and perhaps you are right. Perhaps it needs a slower telling, especially with how it has begun, and will pan out to be more posts than I originally thought. I've been trimming and rewriting sections, so as this process continues it may expand.
Right! I’m looking forward to reading more! And, you know, once I’m hooked (and this is one of those cases), I want it to never finish. :)
Lovely to hear, and same re: Margherita! 😊
“ I was struck by the sudden sense the ground was just the thinnest crust, that my feet were stepping atop a membrane and could at any moment break through to whatever lay beneath, the beach being nothing but a veneer stretched thin across an unforgiving gulf of black.”
That’s a brilliantly descriptive paragraph, Nathan. Really sparks the imagination to think how solid is our reality and what is beyond
We often walk along the beaches around these parts collecting stones. Will need to much more careful from now on! 😁
Thank you, Dan! Yes, beware those stones ;)
It is my favourite paragraph, too, and one of the sections that essentially remained untouched from the original draft of this.
I loved that passage and was going to highlight it in my comment, but you beat me to it lol. :)
Sorry Silvio 😁. It really is great writing 👍🏼
I’ve just read both chapters back to back (the first again… I could have sworn I left a comment but it’s not there, but then it’s been such a chaotic, long, mind bending and exhaustingly busy week this isn’t surprising. Your ability to write in two dimensions in such poetic form is enviable Nathan, your stories have huge magnetic and mysterious pull, intrigue for the curious mind… I love it! And movement inside the stone… yes!!
Oh, how strange, I thought you had too. I'll go check in a bit
Thank you for such a lovely comment, Susie. I appreciate you reading so much.
I have several of your posts to catch up on, which I very much look forward to.
I feel like I’m standing on the cliff of a great story, already two chapters in on winding, mysterious trails, knowing/sensing the third will arrive and push me off the edge…as you do. 😉 You never fail to paint parallel dimensions that never quite leave me the same afterwords.
I'm sooo here for your comments, Kimberly. Thank you!!
So long as I'm not leaving you with an unwanted feeling, then I shall strive to push you off the edge next chapter. ;)
Well, you can add me to the list of choosing the same paragraph to highlight, “I was struck by the sudden sense …”
Your favorite too, I see. You’re in the midst of a great story. Seems we all have excellent ‘taste’ in the written word.
I’m adding this one to my favorites . I have a feeling it will have some future importance , that for now , is beyond my imagination.
“…she would whisper the same thing each time—the soft boundary of receding waves marks the true path along a shore—mouthing the words as she stared at the horizon.”
Looking forward to the ‘to be continued’ part .Take your time , but hurry up😉
( I hope you are feeling much better!)
Comments like these keep me fuelled to write write write! 🤗
Thank you as ever, Lor. Some things are here still from the original draft (the first quote) whilst several emerged as necessary additions and edits (the second quote). It nudged its way in there, waiting for it's necessary exploration as this unwinds.
"the soft boundary of receding waves marks the true path along a shore" True, and it's a path ever regenerating, where no footsteps can last.
The mystery continues, in reverse, it seems. Of course, I would have picked it up too and dropped it probably all the same, very intriguing, the pull of the stone extends to the reader. Five faces, five places. Ahhhh, the fivestone, I have an inkling, this is going to get dark... 😬
Ever regenerating! So true. I like that.
And yes, some non-linear storytelling. My favourite!
I visualised a totally different image. I recognise the stone you’re trying to describe! But mine is like an aboriginal axe head with two long sides and three short edges, the bottom point being the sharp one. Easily held and a very distinctive luminous black. Hmmmm….
A good read. Thanks so much.
Thanks so much for reading, Beth.
Ooo, yes, that totally fits too. Thanks for sharing!
I find this absolutely delicious, Nathan. I will go back right now to read part one. You've set up a marvelous mystery here. I especially liked this description of the shore: "... a sudden sense the ground was just the thinnest crust, that my feet were stepping atop a membrane and could—at any moment—break through to whatever lay beneath, the beach being nothing but a veneer stretched thin..." My own feet have experienced this thin crusty veneer many times here on the Santa Cruz beach. It is exactly as you say, hinting at something deeper. Excellent story -- I'll be back for the rest.
Thank you, Sharron. Fantastic to hear. I'm so pleased.
I was actually inspired to write that paragraph when walking on a beach here in Victoria, several years ago. Although I didn't stumble across a strange rock, I did have a feeling of something like vertigo when thinking what was (or perhaps wasn't!) beneath my feet.
Oh wow, the click bait first line has follow through!
Love the part about the sand and the water. Makes me think of Octavia Paz's short story The Wave, which is a gorgeous understanding of a wave as a lover. I also thought of the mysterious monoliths when I read about the object in the sand. So much mystery along with sensational delights. Lovely read,Nathan.
https://www.vox.com/culture/22062796/monoliths-utah-california-romania
Hehe, thanks Kate. Happy you clicked through. ;)
I don't know that story, so thanks for sharing that.
And hah, yes, I'd read that article about monoliths. I read that another one appeared last week, I think.
Have you read Solaris by Stanisław Lem? A whole ocean as an entity is the feature of that story. Quite remarkable.
I’m hooked! The descriptions are mesmerizing.
Yay, thanks Julie! So appreciate you reading.
Lovely - so intriguing. Can hardly wait for more. Pls hurry back.
Thank you Connie, I'm so happy you're looking forward to me. Worry not, more incoming next week. :)
How funny would it be if the stone was just a five-sided die but a magical one that adds some DnD functionality to the protagonist's world?
The old man's speech pattern is quite interesting. My imagination added a Slavic accent to his voice just because his English isn't quite correct (do you leave vs. are you leaving). I wonder if that was what you intended? If so, a clever detail!
Haha, that’d be a good twist!
Yes, deliberate tweaks to his speech, but keeping it somewhat vague as to precise nationality.
Loved how you continued the story. What is that stone? Was is it? Waiting for the next episode...
Thanks for reading, Claudia!
Info will drip-feed through in coming entries 😄
Nathan, as always your writing is compelling and beautiful. Are you sure this isn’t the start of a 3-novel trilogy?! ⭐️
Hehe, perhaps, perhaps! Thanks so much, Brian. I always value your thoughts and comments so much.
Enigmatic, ethereal, evocative
Agreed. A great sense of longing, mystery and loss.
Also, why is the protagonist so especially familiar with obsidian? Very enigmatic!
Thanks, L. J.
"Longing, mystery and loss." I feel that's a perfect descriptor of where most of my writing lands.
Fertile ground indeed. It definitely resonates well with me. Very much here for more!
"longing, mystery and loss": spot on!
I love both of these descriptions! Thanks, Terry.