Interesting. It reminded me in both an oblique and obvious way of The Yellow Wallpaper. Never had you down as a horror story writer Nathan, but well done, squire.
Thanks, Sharron. Interesting that you still have such dreams that carry into adult life. I have gone through periods of having recurring dreams, though not properly for some time now.
Every week I dream I am lost in a large eastern European city with no passport, no local currency, no knowledge of the language. I can’t remember which hotel I am saying at and can’t find a taxi to the airport…. all the things I subconsciously feared during my 24 years of solo world travel. Those things NEVER happened to me, but the latent fear comes back in dreams to make me sweat. urrghh
Oh I adore this, Nathan. I think you could lengthen it to novella length just by filling out more of the story of the night in the house (or a longer short story). Borgesian. So much playing with time and space as well as questioning the real.
Far from creeping me out, I was left wishing I had creatures in the ceilings to clean away the dust and the cobwebs, they would give me a break! But these old walls are a metre thick of stone and lime cement, there are no vents, only the tunnels of mice and spiders where the lime has crumbled... I'll never be so lucky!
Great story my friend, I love that it began with an unlikely friendship then turned to a ghostly twist at the end. Your new home is inspiring you it feels!
Hehe, thanks Susie. Yes, something silent and innocuous and beneficial to the walls and ceilings would certainly do the trick. I'm already noticing more cobwebs appearing here (likely from spiders emerging from the vents...)
A metre of thick stone is most impressive and resilient!
Ahhh, I wish you could’ve seen the quiet smile on my face as your story unfolded. At first I thought, Now this is a different tone for Nathan, a glimpse into a different time, two kids navigating friendship and class. But then of course, the supernatural twist! I have a hunch this didn’t entirely emerge from your imagination.
And yow, what a fabulous sentence:
“I lie here listening, listening intently for the sound of something slow and silent, a dark and shadow-filled thing capable of working its way along the walls to suck at what it finds, unaware of the boy who is now a man who watches it move and then retreat before the break of day.”
Hehe, thanks Kimberly. You know, I recently reread a few of my pieces from last year, having somewhat forgotten what the stories were about and I found myself (and yeah, this sounds arrogant but isn't meant to be!) smiling at the realisation of when things in the stories took a slight twist.
I do actually want to write a piece that is entirely standard fiction with nothing magical/surreal/fantasy etc. Someday I'll try to do that.
I had to ask myself that question, too. I guess all dust and things fall down to the floor, and cobwebs, if present, find themselves more in the upper corners of the walls.
Interesting. It reminded me in both an oblique and obvious way of The Yellow Wallpaper. Never had you down as a horror story writer Nathan, but well done, squire.
Thanks, Terry. Not a genre I hugely dabble in, though I've certainly read and watched my fair share of horror. Had to Google The Yellow Wallpaper. :)
Read it: it will help you stay awake at night! 😂
YIKES! And here I thought that I LIKED rooms with high ceilings!! 🤔😯😳🫣
Wonderfully told story though! ☺️
Oh no.... you'll see them differently from now on, Rose.
Hehe, thanks Rose!
Would like to know what happened to Jenny.
A good question ...
So creepy! Though my ceiling fans could use more frequent cleaning, maybe They aren’t so bad,..
An easy place to forget to clean! The ceiling extraction fan in the bathroom is something I always forget about vacuuming.
They need vacuuming...? ha ha ha
I had similar thoughts. Creepy but so useful. I might be able to live with that!
A tight and tidy little sketch of creeping dread. Glad you’re cranking up the fiction machine again. Here’s hoping for more in the year to come!
Thanks, Ben! :)
Fantastic!
I find myself wondering if the young boy was destined to find such walls again from the moment he spent that night at Jenny’s.
Thanks, Holly!
I like this interpretation. :)
Majorly creepy, like recurring nightmares that go on for years.
I have two such dreams that have carried over my entire adult life, and still leave me shaken. You have tapped into them here, Nathan. Brrrrr.
Thanks, Sharron. Interesting that you still have such dreams that carry into adult life. I have gone through periods of having recurring dreams, though not properly for some time now.
Every week I dream I am lost in a large eastern European city with no passport, no local currency, no knowledge of the language. I can’t remember which hotel I am saying at and can’t find a taxi to the airport…. all the things I subconsciously feared during my 24 years of solo world travel. Those things NEVER happened to me, but the latent fear comes back in dreams to make me sweat. urrghh
Terrifying! and beautifully written
Thanks so much, Caitriana. :)
Hehehe, lovely, creepy story. new house has high ceilings I take it? Lots of noises in the dark. My kind of vibe! Excellent, my friend!
Woot, so glad you enjoyed!
I may be staring at my walls for the next few...years. Great story, Nathan.
Thanks Parker! Much appreciated. :)
Apologies for the mega slow reply here.
Oh I adore this, Nathan. I think you could lengthen it to novella length just by filling out more of the story of the night in the house (or a longer short story). Borgesian. So much playing with time and space as well as questioning the real.
Thanks, Kate. That's lovely to hear. If I'd had the stamina, I would have pursued such an idea.
Borges has been on my mind recently as I've been leafing through his stories on my shelf.
It shows!
I was smiling by the end of this Nathan...
Far from creeping me out, I was left wishing I had creatures in the ceilings to clean away the dust and the cobwebs, they would give me a break! But these old walls are a metre thick of stone and lime cement, there are no vents, only the tunnels of mice and spiders where the lime has crumbled... I'll never be so lucky!
Great story my friend, I love that it began with an unlikely friendship then turned to a ghostly twist at the end. Your new home is inspiring you it feels!
Hehe, thanks Susie. Yes, something silent and innocuous and beneficial to the walls and ceilings would certainly do the trick. I'm already noticing more cobwebs appearing here (likely from spiders emerging from the vents...)
A metre of thick stone is most impressive and resilient!
This is fantastic, Nathan 👏
I love this kind of horror story
As someone who is short sighted, when I take off my glasses, the dark is filled with terror so I certainly can relate 😁
Brilliantly descriptive and hugely atmospheric, I wonder if we’ll visit Jenny’s house again 🤔
Thanks so much Dan!
Some of the details in here appeared from nowhere, so perhaps another day this house will be visited again. :)
Ahhh, I wish you could’ve seen the quiet smile on my face as your story unfolded. At first I thought, Now this is a different tone for Nathan, a glimpse into a different time, two kids navigating friendship and class. But then of course, the supernatural twist! I have a hunch this didn’t entirely emerge from your imagination.
And yow, what a fabulous sentence:
“I lie here listening, listening intently for the sound of something slow and silent, a dark and shadow-filled thing capable of working its way along the walls to suck at what it finds, unaware of the boy who is now a man who watches it move and then retreat before the break of day.”
Hehe, thanks Kimberly. You know, I recently reread a few of my pieces from last year, having somewhat forgotten what the stories were about and I found myself (and yeah, this sounds arrogant but isn't meant to be!) smiling at the realisation of when things in the stories took a slight twist.
I do actually want to write a piece that is entirely standard fiction with nothing magical/surreal/fantasy etc. Someday I'll try to do that.
Nice...really nice.
does anyone ever clean their ceilings? do THEY do it for everyone and we just don't know? great premise and left hanging perfectly!
Thanks, Nick!
I had to ask myself that question, too. I guess all dust and things fall down to the floor, and cobwebs, if present, find themselves more in the upper corners of the walls.
Freaky!!! One wonders what They eat when They can't get dust.
Haha, yes...