51 Comments
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Daniel O’Donnell's avatar

Thanks for the mention Nathan 🙏

I have a story coming out this Friday that was part of a competition which is over 1000 words and then I have something that I’m editing just now that’s 7000 words and will be split into 3 parts. I’m missing my 100 word stories! 😁

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Oh wow. Incredible. Can't wait to read those.

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Daniel O’Donnell's avatar

Oh and just so you know, the long story takes a sharp genre change midway through. Gotta love those wild swings 😁

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Great! That feels on point given what we've just been discussion on Notes. :)

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Kathleen Clare Waller's avatar

Congrats on the semester, Nathan, and I enjoyed the story! A great example of how a simple phrase (I clenched my fists) can be repeated in a loop to build both tension and understanding.

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks, Kate! Another one down. Tick!

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Alexander Ipfelkofer's avatar

Fist-clenchers everywhere! Lost in thought? Lovely vignette, Nathan!

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks, my friend!

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Claudia Befu's avatar

Loved this, Nathan. Is there more to come?

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks, Claudia! I don't think so for this one, no. Just a standalone, brief window on a scene.

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Claudia Befu's avatar

A writing exercise in public. I liked your voice in this one, it reminded me of your initial pieces here on Substack, gentle, clear, poetic and transporting the reader to a new space.

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Nathan Slake's avatar

🙏

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Emily Charlotte Powell's avatar

Pigeons are so distracting. Love this.

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks Emily! That they are. :)

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Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Terrific piece Nathan. So subtle it both lulls you and makes you uneasy at the same time. Great job. - Jim

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks so much, Jim!

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Well done, Nathan. I love this kind of "situational" vignette where at first it may seem something as mundane as two people waiting for a train but turns into something so much deeper.

"Are we still talking about this?" is such a telling line. In the end, the pigeon flies and I suspect that the main character is preparing to do the same.

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks, Jim. Some of the authors I'm most drawn to paint vignettes where nothing much happens but existing in that space is the whole joy of the reading, so I wanted to experiment a bit with that.

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Ben Wakeman's avatar

"Are we still talking about this?"

Pitch perfect moment in time you've captured here. Well done. I'm glad you've wrapped your semester and can now focus on the far more important task of writing the novel you've promised all of us. :)

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Hehe. Yep, it's on the list, Ben, don't worry. ;)

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Joseph Young's avatar

who hasn't had this conversation? haha. nice work, Nathan.

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks Joseph. Glad you can relate. :)

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Chris Jonah's avatar

Bah! Love that telepathic interaction with the pigeon.

Hmm I'll check out the 100 word guy. I liked the sounds of that ✌️

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Nathan Slake's avatar

👍

Thanks Chris! Glad you enjoyed.

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Bryan Pirolli's avatar

This scene really draws you right into it. Nice and crisp. Has me very aware of my hands now...

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Hehe, so long as no-one is walking behind you then you're all good. ;)

Thanks so much, Bryan.

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Shoni's avatar

You paint a picture well. Not many words, even if over 100 🙂

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks, Shoni! :D

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Very nice. I always like it when a writer rounds a piece off by referencing the beginning, bring it round full circle. It gives a sense of completeness. On my writing courses I teach flash fiction and flash nonfiction, so i am looking forward to checking out those links you provided, Nathan.

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Awesome to hear, Terry! Thanks.

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Mkwawa shujaa's avatar

This is good. You’ve nailed that weirdly specific yet universal human moment where a half tucked shirt and a stubborn pigeon somehow say more than a monologue ever could.

I will also be checking for the fist lol. Thank you for sharing

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks for reading and your thoughts. Much appreciated. 🙏

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Susie Mawhinney's avatar

I loved this Nathan, I too am greatly inspired by Ben's short portraits although unless I study the cows - a possibility they do have very different characters - I am not blessed with actors for the stories up here!

I am counting days... 13 class days to go including today which is yet to begin... The insanity of end of the year reports, lethargy and now extreme heat too is debilitating beyond words and time for anything non existent too... enjoy your break my friend - I am deeply envious!

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Thanks Susie. May those days fly by and your well-deserved rest be here as soon as possible!

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

The marinade worked. Bravo!

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Nathan Slake's avatar

Aw, thanks Sue!

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